- Michael: Remember what John and Paul said.
- Frank Quinlan: The apostles?
- Michael: No, the Beatles. All you need is love.
- Michael: You know, I invented marriage
- Pansy Milbank: Oh really?
- Michael: Yep. All these people were milling around, trying to get together, everything was in chaos so I told 'em, "Have a ceremony".
- Michael: Then what happened was, he came as a hundred mouths, open and stinking with decay... and he tore at my flesh from every angle of Heaven. I grabbed Beelzebub's blue tongue in my fist...
- Old Geezer #1: Wait, who is Beelzebub?
- Michael: Beelzebub is Satan!
- Michael: And you just gotta remember, Sparky - no matter what they tell you - you can *never* have too much sugar.
- Huey Driscoll: Can I just pull on your wings to see how they're attached?
- Michael: Why don't you pull on your pecker to see how it's attached?
- Pansy Milbank: Hey. Language.
- Frank Quinlan: An angel that says "pecker."
- Pansy Milbank: Language.
- Frank Quinlan: Bring him back.
- Michael: That's not my area.
- Frank Quinlan: Would someone please tell me what his area is? Don't give me that "that's not my area" stuff. BRING HIM BACK.
- Dorothy Winters: It's cookies, he smells like cookies, and the smell gets stronger when he's in heat.
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