Lord Protector

Charlton Heston does a fine job narrating this fantasy film featuring an other-wordly plot and some neat special effects. Patrick Cassidy (David's brother)stars along with Jay Underwood (The Boy Who Could Fly). The entire cast seems to be having fun, playing their parts with tongues planted firmly in cheek. Of course, this sort of G-rated fare is produced primarily for the kid demographic, but grown-ups can enjoy it too.

The story is a fantasy tale about the possible destruction of this world and a fight between good and evil. I noticed some reviewers glow about this film and give it scores of 8, 9 or even 10. I have a seriously hard time understanding it, as the film was one of the most amateurish looking movies I've seen...especially when it comes to the acting. The actors look much more like some friends who got together to make a film, not a serious production.

The only reason I watched the film is because it was one of Charlton Heston's final movies. However, it turns out that he only narrates and if you are watching for Olivia Hussey, she only is used as a voice actor as well. The rest...well, I just hope that they worked hard and have improved their skills since making this movie.

With Olivia Hussey as the voice of the spirits and Charlton Heston doing the narration The Dark Mist is a hit or miss satire of a fantasy film. The trouble is that the players take it a bit too seriously at times and miss the points where they're supposed to mug for the cameras.

One of Jack Cassidy and Shirley Jones's sons Patrick is in the lead and title role. He's giving out Cassandra like warnings about the current king Ronald Hale tapping into the dark forces for his power. When his warnings aren't heeded, Patrick goes off and gathers a group of followers as per an ancient prophecy to stop Hale.

The Dark Mist has a few good moments, but someone with a grounding in comedy was needed to get the maximum results. That was what they didn't have at the helm.

Kids should like it though.

When I saw this film, I assumed it had been made in the late seventies - the effects are almost drawn onto the screen; but then I spotted in was made in 1996 and my appreciation really slumped. The first thing you notice is that old Ben Hur himself is the narrator - but why? Did he need the cash? The story, not that it really matters - is a sort of "Conan" meets "Red Sonja" affair with the hero "Rennick" (Patrick Cassidy) and his trusty team of stalwarts setting off to engage the epitome of evil in a battle for the very survival of our planet. Oddly enough, the campy performances; the large-scale paper-maché sets and the merry accompanying score might be more passable if the dialogue hadn't been written by an eight year old with English as his/her fifth language. The sword and sandals fight scenes are all terribly theatrically staged, and the visual effects are similar to those on a game of "Asteroids". Not the worst, but you can see it from here...

In the 80s, a film like this would have been awesome. Blood, muscles up steroid dudes wielding swords and hot gals that would go topless often. They would also have some practical effects monster that would sometimes look pretty good. Then the 90s came around and things became dull. Here we have annoying yelling nerds as our heroes, empty waterways and caves where one would expect monsters and okay looking women not topless. So everything that made the 80s sword and sorcery films awesome is missing here and we are left a bit bored.

The story has a very annoying guy gathering a group together to fight the darkness. He shouts a lot and lacks charisma. That is okay, so does most of the people he has join him with the exception of the swordsmen looking for a plant, he is alright; granted, I could not understand him a lot of the time. They battle people in this thing, no trying to have any cool battles here. They face obvious traitors, a romance and possibly victory with minimal effort put into the film as possible.

I did not really recognize most of the cast, Charlton Heston did narration and Olivia Hussey did a voice, but none of the people in the film looked familiar. Lead guy shouts to much, the doofus who follows the group could be called captain bland, the only one who seemed to try was the sword guy who was so immersed in character he was hard to understand because of the accent...

So, if watching a group of travelers going into a magical waterway and a cave where no man has returned despite there being nothing in either place, watching a romance flair that is totally predictable and that is missing everything that made these types of films fun then this is your movie! You also probably think mayonnaise is too spicy...