London Suite

This is a total bomb. The play on which it is based is also a bomb, considering the source. The baker's dozen of super talented actors could not save this monument to mediocrity. It truly screens like the very definition of a made-for-TV movie, only from the eighties rather than 1996. It's almost as if Mr. Simon was trying to squeeze out another "Suite" as excellent and successful as the first two . . . oh, wait . . . I guess that might be the point (?!?), but apparently the only point. A very constipated mash-up of retro-'60's dialogue and '90's comedic sensibilities, there is awkwardness to be had at nearly every turn.

This t v made production has a cast of lots of talent, but no script and sequencing which makes little sense. If there are any entertainment values in this, it is if you want to see a cast member & a little cheeky British humor.

Michael Richards is a good physical comedian. This film takes him & disables him after the first sequences with a bad back. That pretty much sets the mood for the abuse that the script makes of the cast. Kelsey Grammar is a good verbal comedian- so have him somber because he has an incurable disease.

The only near chuckles in this a a couple of cheeky sequences in Richards room after he is prone with the bad back. Other than that, this film has little to offer. Interestingly there is a sequence in front of a building in London when a bus with a banner about a US state, Pennsy. drives in front of the building on the street. That makes me wonder if that was deliberate, or did they do some back drop filming in the US?

Ironically, I was in London in 1996 for a few days in the summer. When this film aired on television, I was excited. It had a great cast but when it came to air. It was embarrassing to watch. This is one of Neil Simon's weakest stories. I am sure he could have come up with something better and interesting to entertain us. I felt embarrassed for the great cast like Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Jonathan Silverman. They had a crazy story. I was surprised by Rolf Saxon who I love playing Julia's brother-in-law living in London with his wife. You could see they were trying so hard for the audience. Despite Rolf's brief appearance, he goes uncredited and that's an outrage for me. I liked watching Madeline Kahn and Richard Mulligan but felt it was too awkward. The worst was Patricia Clarkson, Kristen Johnson, and Kelsey Grammar. I am sorry but it was so hard to watch them. I liked Michael Richards and Julie Hagerty together but felt that they could have used a better story. I liked the brief appearance of British actress, Janine Duvitsky.

Given the enormous comedic talent involved, this was rather disappointing. The most successful comedic playwright since Shakespeare, Neil Simon, has half a dozen of the most popular American comedians of the 1990's in this 1996 production. The director, Jay Sandwich, was the main director of the two most popular American television shows of the 1970's and 1980's (the Mary Tyler Moore Show and the Bill Cosby Show).

Neil Simon always mixes together four or five plots and keeps them moving briskly. In this case three of his four separate plots go nowhere. Only one pays off.

The successful plot involves Sidney (Kelsey Grammar) and Diana (Patricia Clarkson). Diana is a successful television star hoping to revive her marriage to Sidney that broke up eight years previously. Sidney has been living as a gay man on the Greek island of Mikonos for those eight years and has come to meet Diana for an entirely different reason. The performances here are subtle, sharp, sensitive and sweet.

Julia Louise Dreyfus and Johnathan Silverman try to work a plot about a newlywed who loses her husband at the airport. Dreyfus is pure slapstick, twisting,turning and rolling her eyes to simulate her hysteria at losing her husband. Silverman arrives too late and is too laid-back to improve things. At one point Dreyfus is supposed to be drunk and says to a waiter, "I'm drunk, can't you tell?" In fact, she acts drunk throughout, so it is hard to tell.

Michel Richards and Julie Haggardy do more mainly physical slapstick as a man with a bad back and a wife who loses her husband's Wimbledon tickets. This seems to go back to television sketch comedy of the 1950's. One could imagine Sid Caesar or Milton Berle wringing the same laughs from the material. Richards is in his element with the physical comedy, so there are a few laughs here. Brits, Paxton Whitehead and Jane Carr brighten up this episode.

Madeline Kahn and Richard Mulligan go on a mismatched date which leads nowhere. It reminded me of the old television show "Love American Style". There are a few faint smiles but no laughs here.

I would say, if you're a Neil Simon fan, see it for the wonderful acting of Kelsey Grammar and Patricia Clarkson, but don't expect anything from the other stories. As a whole, it is sub-par Neil Simon, but at least 25% of it is solid Neil Simon at his best

The most important thing i can say now about London Suite is that, as a comedy, it's supposed to make you laugh. Well it didn't even make me smile. Not only once. Not even smile. And with that i say it all. I mean be serious! Is that humour?? No way! Every assumed gag is pointless and stupid, the actors play horrible, and that's not all. The worse thing is that it's not original. The idea looks a lot like Four Rooms. The same thing: 4 totally different stories, that happen in the same hotel. Only that in 4R they're presented one by one, and here they are all together. And in 4R they had something connecting them, and here they don't. And in 4R there was the genial Quentin Tarantino on board, here it's a bunch of talentless crew that manages to create one of the worst movies i've ever seen. Although the cast seemed promising: Elaine and Kramer from Seinfeld, Kristen Johnston from The Third Rock From The Sun, and Kelsey Grammar from Fraser and Cheers.

So if you by any chance have the chance to see this movie, DON'T. Chose anything else, but this one. Otherwise you'll waste 2 hours of your life. And life is too short to be wasted.

Vote: 2 out of 10.