Demolition High

This movie which rehashes the tired plot of terrorists taking over a high school, has some of the worst special effects I've seen outside an Ed Wood feature. Alan Thicke ("Growing Pains" Dad) uses profanity, so that's kind of funny. Wait! This isn't a comedy...never mind.

"Demolition High" is ridiculous on many levels. However, it made me laugh a bunch. It seemed less like a fully thought-out movie and more like an exercise in putting actors into scenes. "Hey, we could have Corey shoot something out of a fire extinguisher!" "Yeah, and Melissa could walk menacingly up these stairs!" "Wait, we could use this circular saw for something..."

What surprised me was that somehow the movie managed to include the absurd as well as occasional moments when the actors and the writing made me care a little bit about the characters. I've always like Corey Haim, for whatever reason, and even though this whole film was a transparent vehicle for him to play a role (and not a very convincing role), I still rooted for "Lenny Slater". I also liked a few moments with some of the supporting cast, certainly more than the shaky script and acting would suggest.

Ultimately I give this a 5. It's laughable in many ways, but that was part of the fun. When Corey grabs a machine gun and runs *past* the injured Melissa, out of the room, down the hall, and *then* turns and fires randomly back at the room they squared off in, you can't take this seriously and you can't believe any of them did either. So just relax and enjoy the comedy, be it intentional or not.

P.S. I had to "fix" this review because my original summary of "LOL" was interpreted as shouting -- even when I added periods. :-)

To get started, I gotta say I love my one-line summary. It works on so many levels. OK, with that out of the way it's true that this low budget "Die Hard in a high school" is moderately amusing, but even moderately amusing is like finding gold as far as Jim Wynorski movies of the past decade or so go. Poor Jim's last really good film was "Hard to Die" and that was 1990. He made three films in 1996: This, "Vampirella", and "The Assault" so trust me when I say nowadays to paraphrase Meatloaf, ONE outta THREE for Mr. Wynorki ain't bad. Not to over-hype this movie as it's still not as good as his movies from his heyday of the '80's, just that I'm glad that this film isn't a total turd.

My Grade: C

Where I saw It: Showtime

I caught this on TV one day when I was bored and waiting on some people. The movie kept my attention the entire time because it was so god awful. Corey Haim in a Bruce Willis "Die Hard" type role, Alan Thicke playing a hardened police chief, Dick Van Patten as a general, and a bunch of goofy terrorists who just happen to have as super model type as one of them. How can you go wrong? The special effects are lame, especially the guided missile that looks like a rocket model kit that you build at home only on a bigger scale.

This movie is terrible, make no mistake about it. But it's so terrible that you can't help but laugh and watch to see just how cheesy it's going to get. It's actually quite entertaining.

Corey Haim is a tough kid supposedly from The Bronx when his new high school gets infiltrated by terrorists with some convoluted plan to shoot a missile at a local nuclear energy plant. Becomes Home Alone meets Die Hard as he uses his science knowledge to kill bad guys with improvised traps. Alan Thicke plays his policeman father with an I-couldn't-care-less attitude. Watch for the painful scene where the lead girl accidentally bangs her face into a van's interior...ouch.