Deadly Heroes

This is one of those good-guys-on-a-daring-mission-against-impossible-odds movies that offers the expected bursts of violent action just often enough to maintain the interest of its intended audience. Remember when Michael Pare showed promise back in the underrated "Streets of Fire?" He's come down from those days but still makes a suitable hero and is keeping himself in shape. Note how good he looks in the torture scene where he's stripped to his undershorts, tied against a wall, and subjected to punches, kicks, and a few electrical shocks. Titillatingly, some of these shocks are applied directly to his nipples though the contact is just a flash and can't compare to the slow, agonized way in which Steve Durham's nipples were "fried" in "Born American." Pare's undershorts, alas, keep off-limits the more sensitive and vulnerable areas of his male anatomy -- a bit of prudishness which doesn't make much sense when the whole idea is to subject him to the greatest possible pain.

Michael Pare and Jan-Michael Vincent star as two commandos who look to fight it out against middle eastern terrorists who have hi-jacked a bus as well as kidnapped Pare's wife in this highly unlikely tale. Someone wrote me to ask what makes a guilty pleasure different from a laughable bomb. I had never thought about it but it had to be that the movie was goofy yet competently made, where as a laughable bomb is just goofy. Deadly Heroes is a laughable bomb because the movie starts with hijackers taking over a bus with plastic guns (I'm serious) I'm not even going to go into what it takes to actually make something penetrate the skin and kill, mainly black powder and the pressure which is highly explosive. Indeed one can't think of worse thing to make out of plastic. The movie actually proceeds to get even dumber as Billy Drago surfaces as a the head honcho villain. Indeed it is weird but it is only Jan-Michael Vincent who seems suited to his part. Where as the rest of the cast (Even the usually respectable Michael Pare) are uniformly bad. Still this is hilarious to watch and somehow this clunker plays on TV every summer for some unfathomable reason.

* out of 4-(Bad)

This will be enjoyable only for fans of these 2 actors. I like Michael Pare from Greatest American Hero, Eddie and the Cruisers, Streets of Fire, World Gone Wild, etc. And I'm also a huge Jan Michael Vincent fan too (See Buster and Billie, Tribes, Winds of War, Airwolf, etc). So having these 2 in a movie together was very cool! Granted this came out in 1993, past the hey-day of either of them, but both do themselves justice in this flick. Pare looks to be in great physical shape still, as does Vincent. This is one of the last flicks Vincent did before he deteriorated more with alcohol problems. He puts in a very decent performance here is a former CIA toughie. It's great to see a final display of his action-star charisma before he vanished from the screen. By the end of the movie, Vincent really seems to be enjoying himself, flashing a boyish smile which makes you remember his charming quality in so many great 70's/80's movies. It's also fun to laugh at the plastic-weapon-wielding terrorists who are waaaaaaaay over the top!

I have, in all honesty, never seen a movie with worse acting, script and directing, and I have seen very many movies in my life.

This movie does not deserve more words for a comment, neither it needs more. By any means, try to see this movie, try to see the first 20 minutes. If you are human, you'll cry in pain because of the sheer stupidity yielded by this motion picture.

I was flipping channels today and was drawn into this celluloid vortex of unintentional hilarity. It was like a ghastly car wreck, I knew I shouldn't look...but I couldn't help myself. For me, the most hilarious element of the movie was the fact that they couldn't afford professional stunt people, so these poor actors (I use the term "actor" loosely) had to do their own stunts!!! And believe me, when you see Grade D actors doing their own stunts, it's pretty funny to watch. My wife and I were rolling on the ground with laughter at the terribly choreographed fight scenes and special effects. There's one scene where Jan Michael Vincent tries to do a "wheel kick" to take down a terrorist and he literally stumbles and falls onto the guy! And they didn't edit it out! LOL For me, "Deadly Heroes" (even the title is hilarious) has become the contemporary "Plan Nine From Outer Space," in that they take it so seriously...and yet it's such an amateurish train wreck. If you appreciate truly bad dialogue, you'll love this film. Pretty much every third line is an "oucher." I'm going to try and find this film on video and invite some friends over for a hoot of a time. If you're the type that enjoys movies that are so bad they're good, I highly recommend this film. Cheers!