Barb Wire

Pamela Anderson Lee will certainly never be mistaken for a talking pig, especially in the outfits she gets to wear in Barb Wire. Pamela has cascading blonde hair down to there, acres of cleavage and plenty of clingy leather getups cut up to here. If you get distracted and call Ms. Wire the dreaded "B" word, you may find yourself dealing with her nasty-tempered Rottweiler, Camille, a sidekick with bite. This highly anticipated comic-book action/adventure, starring the pinup star of Baywatch, lasted only a short time in theaters before going bust, so to speak. I'm sure the backers couldn't care less, as their investment was made back in advance by tremendous worldwide sales. Barb Wire was sold on the star's face and form long before there was a story concept or anything resembling a script. Good thing, too. Yes, the futuristic plot does bear some parallels to Casablanca, but the family resemblance is strictly skin-deep. Barb is a nightclub owner who helps an old flame, now a freedom fighter, and his wife escape from a corrupt police official and some neo-Nazi types. Of all the gin joints in the world, Axel had to walk into Barb's. Barb has just been hosed down while performing a torrid dance onstage and is feeling, well, charitable. The movie gets off to a pretty good start, with tongue well in cheek, but grows wearisome when it forgets to laugh at itself. The explosions, shoot-outs and chases are eventually numbing. Must say, however, I did love the death-by-spike-heel scene which comes early on. Steve Railsback, as the head meanie, Colonel Pryzer, comes across as Tommy Lee Jones-lite. Ms. Anderson Lee, as Barb the Buxom, is game, however, firing oversized weapons and kicking fanny without mussing her makeup. Too bad they couldn't afford some better wigs for her stunt doubles.

Barb runs a bar and is also a mercenary out for herself in the civil war. However when her ex-boyfriend Axel comes to se her she takes a job helping a scientist get across the country to expose a government cover up. However will she remain a mercenary or will she pick sides?

When people are famous for being naked – that's pretty much what they should stay doing. Do we want porn actresses doing serious Hollywood roles? No – let them stick to what they know. I'm not calling Anderson a porno star but lets be honest, she famous for having great breasts right? So how can we harness this star power? Lets put her in tight clothes in a futuristic remake of Casablanca!

The plot is a sheer rip off and still manages to be poor. It is only an excuse for tight clothes and silly big explosions. As a dumb Saturday night special it still barely cuts it for me, although it is noisy, if that's all you want.....

Anderson isn't an actress – if it wasn't for a good publicity agent and a boob-job, she wouldn't even be offered the roles that Shannon Tweed gets! She doesn't convince as an actress as she can't get above the range required by Baywatch – look scared, look happy, look sad, look determined, oh and poke out your boobs! The rest of the cast have nothing to do and it's a shame to see reliable bit part players like Howard and Xander Berkley appearing in this.

Overall it has some pretty explosions but really this is like a Playboy video – it's all designed for the purpose of capitalising on Anderson's body.......why should we be surprised that it does nothing else.

Although based in comic book series, the "Barb Wire" movie intends to be a remake o classical "Casablanca". It keeps the core elements of the 40's film, but adapts it to a distopic sci-fi action futuristic movie. Pamela Anderson plays Barb, a role similar to Bogart's Rick. The gender of the love affair from the past and of the third part of the love triangle have also been changed. The fictional town of Steel Harbor in the United States replaces Casablanca and the story is held during a futuristic Second Civil War rather than in the beginning of World War II. Both protagonists own a bar/nightclub, but Barb Wire is also a bounty huntress. As this remake is a sci-fi film, special contact lenses that cheat retinal scans substitute the letters of transit kept with Rick. As predictable, acting is worse in this remake, which has much more action. Off course "Casablanca" is much better, but surprisingly "Barb Wire" is not bad, in spite of the bad critics it has received.

I'm a fan of the comic book series, Barb Wire (or was, until its cancellation). And I'm afraid I have mixed feelings about the movie. It certainly isn't true to the comic. Barb isn't a tough as nails, but guided by her morals woman. She's a cold blooded killer for hire, in this one. Still, it's difficult not to like Pam Anderson's role, if only because of her being sexy. There is a touch of humor in her campy portrayal. It's not spectacular acting, but it's fun. Pamela also resembles the comic book Barb to an uncanny degree, and the supporting cast is wonderfully cartoony. The story isn't well written, but it gives the cute one liners ("Don't... call me babe"), and action sequences, which are all fun to watch. I realize that it isn't high art, but this movie just has a level of silliness and seriousness that's hard not to like. The music, story, and dialogue all give the movie its cheesiness, and in some way, it's made to be entertaining.

Pam is extremely sexy in this movie, and great to watch. She has a scowl all the time, and is dressed to kill in low cut, tight outfits. Sadly, we don't get that much nudity (which alone could have carried the movie). The scenes where there is some, it's pretty clear, and we get a good look at Pamela's incredible body, and the atmosphere and her poses are always very sexy. But there isn't enough of this. It's a fun blend of action, silly dialogue, nudity, and... well Pamela Anderson. Go rent it. It's not a great movie, but it's not a terrible one, and one that's a heck of a good time. NOTE: I suggest the unrated version. It contains more nudity (there isn't that much to begin with) and a ten minutes of footage at the end with Pamela nude in a bathtub, which is really great.

Wow. Now this is not good. However, the movie sets its level right away, by having a stripping, dancing wet Barb (Anderson) already in the introduction of the movie. So, there you have what this movie is all about. Sure you get some violence, explosions and bad costumes as a bonus. Clearly, there is no relevant story in the movie, all revolves around (Barb) to show her off in different ways. The mentioned costumes are almost offending to the audience. Whoever responsible for them clearly did not work very hard. Barb competes with herself to wear some leather-thing that shows off as much as possible, but actually must be considered well dressed as compared to other ladies. The villains wear something that bear a striking resemblance to nazi-uniforms. Well sure, we know who's the bad guys, thank you. And some other people wear broken calculators and other piece of machinery that you'll find in a scrap-heap as hats, and are automatically dressed up like guys from the future. If it was this easy to make a good movie, I could have made it myself. Fortunately it is not, and Barb Wire is not a good movie.

But, and this is a mysterious but, I actually didn't get bored out of my mind and switched off. The movie actually, in some way, had some small piece of entertainment value throughout that made me stay. And that something, whatever it was, is what ultimately saves the movie from being complete junk.

So, if you have absolutely nothing else to do, you may want to watch this one, once. You may get some ideas how to (or not to) dress for the next masquerade.

3/10