- Steven Lidz: My uncle told me there are only eight trustworthy people in the entire world. There were twelve, but four were assassinated.
- Sid Lidz: He doesn't know what he believes. My brothers filled him with all that junk.
- [refering to his son reading the Torah]
- Sid Lidz: .
- Selma Lidz: Maybe they're right for once. What would you know? You work ten hours a day and then you lock yourself in that workshop. What do you know about the world? Maybe there is a God, or maybe some of us want to believe there is.
- Sid Lidz: What's the highest number?
- Uncle Melvin: 6000
- Uncle Melvin: Want to know why? That's how much is in my bank account.
- Danny Lidz: [Danny is heckling a rival of his nephew Franz who, in his speech for the school presidential elections, is repeatedly insulting Franz] Fascist hatemonger! That boy is a Hitler in the making! A Hitler in the making!
- Mr. Crispi: [Stands up angrily] That's my son you're talking about!
- Danny Lidz: Meet Hitler's father.
- Sid Lidz: Religion is a crutch. Only cripples need crutches.
- Arthur Lidz: A crutch isn't bad if you need it, Sidney.
- Danny Lidz: All of us are cripples in some way.
- Sid Lidz: Well, I'm not.