- Kate (White) Reilly: Who named them graboids anyway?
- Earl Bassett: [chuckles] A friend of ours, Walter Chang, he named them, then they ate him.
- [about a groaning Graboid]
- Earl Bassett: Must be sick.
- Grady: Probably ate someone that didn't agree with it.
- [Upon being introduced to Burt's anti-tank rifle]
- Earl Bassett: Man Burt, you put a whole new shine on the word 'overkill'.
- Burt Gummer: When you need it, and don't have it... you sing a different tune.
- Kate (White) Reilly: Believe it or not I was actually a Playmate once. Almost gave my dad a heart attack.
- Earl Bassett: Miss October 1974?
- Kate (White) Reilly: Shit!
- [hiding from the Shriekers, Earl, Grady, and Kate are on top of some containers, Burt is inside the scoop of a bulldozer]
- Grady: Hey, Burt! Are you SURE you don't have any more bullets? Did you check ALL your pockets?
- Burt Gummer: [looking angry] You know, as I lie here, I can't help but comment: the reason I am out of nine-millimeter rounds is I was NOT... properly briefed, and the reason for that is this mission was NOT properly researched. If certain people had bothered to gather intelligence on the creatures before BUMBLING into the situation...
- Earl Bassett: Knock it off, Burt! Nobody made you come!
- Burt Gummer: We wouldn't be down here with single-shot big bores when we should be packing full auto, preferably belt-fed!
- [a Shrieker near Burt grunts loudly]
- Burt Gummer: SHUT UP!
- Grady: They're Precambrian lifeforms, Burt! How's anybody supposed to research Precambrian lifeforms...
- Earl Bassett: [cuts him, bellows] WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE NOW! We're stuck on a goddamn roof with a bunch of--a bunch of what's-it's trying to eat us! I mean, I've done this before, and I did not like it!
- Grady: [furiously offended] Oh, okay! Now it's all my fault! So, things didn't work out exactly the way we planned! Oh, I'm SO sorry!
- Earl Bassett: Well, you should be!
- Burt Gummer: [yells over them] If I had the right tools, I'd finish the job!
- Kate (White) Reilly: JEEZ! Would you just all relax! Now look... Nobody's heard from us since last night. Which means that pretty soon they're going to be up here looking for us, right? So, all we have to do is sit... and wait. Okay?
- [Grady and Earl go silent]
- Kate (White) Reilly: Burt?
- [Burt crosses his arms reluctantly agreeing with her]
- Grady: [realizing Earl tricked him] Wait a minute!
- [turns to Burt]
- Grady: Paper wraps rock, doesn't it?
- Burt Gummer: [sighs in annoyance] Paper ALWAYS wraps rock.
- Grady: Damn!
- Burt Gummer: [solemnly] Heather's not coming back.
- Earl Bassett: No?
- Burt Gummer: She called and told me to send her the HK91.
- Earl Bassett: Ouch!
- Earl Bassett: [to Grady] You know, you might come in useful. While they are eating you it will give me a chance to get away.
- [Coyote howls]
- Grady: Is that a Coyote?
- Earl Bassett: Yup.
- [it howls again]
- Grady: Man he better keep quiet.
- [another howl cut short by the sound of the coyote being eaten]
- Earl Bassett: Yup.
- Earl Bassett: [loses at rock-paper-scissors] No!
- [pauses]
- Earl Bassett: Rock rips through paper!
- Grady: Huh?
- Grady: No offense Earl but you're nervous as a Chihuahua.
- Earl Bassett: I'm not nervous, I'm alert.
- Grady: Whatever.
- Burt Gummer: I knew it. Infrared. It doesn't hear us; it doesn't actually see us; it senses the heat of our bodies. See that? The thing that rises up must be the heat sensor. You feel that? Gives off a lot of heat when it screams.
- Kate (White) Reilly: That's it. I bet that's the way they communicate. The sound doesn't matter. I mean they make noise, but they signal each other with their body heat.
- Earl Bassett: It only sees heat?
- Kate (White) Reilly: Yes, that's not so weird. A rattlesnake strikes at body heat.
- Earl Bassett: Well that's why they tore up the cars-- because the engines were hot. They thought it was food.
- Kate (White) Reilly: And the same thing with the radio tower. That electronic gear puts off all kinds of heat.
- Burt Gummer: So basically, they bite anything that's warm.
- Grady: You mean they been actin' so smart 'cause they're so stupid?
- Kate (White) Reilly: Anyway, we've been pretty nervous down here. Glad you guys were willin' to come all this way.
- Earl Bassett: Yeah, it sure is in the middle of nowhere.
- Grady: Well, of course. Stuff like this only happens in the middle of nowhere.
- Earl Bassett: You're not scared?
- Kate (White) Reilly: Shit, yeah, I'm scared! But... I'm also fascinated. It's, uh, with me, fascinated usually wins.
- Burt Gummer: I didn't know... how could I have known? I wanted maximum penetration!
- Earl Bassett: [Looks at destroyed engine] Well, you got it.
- Earl Bassett: [faced with a huge number of Graboids] We're gonna need some help!
- Grady: Help? Who'd be crazy enough to wanna help us in this mess?
- [scene cuts to Burt Gummer]
- Earl Bassett: Who are you? And why are you so dumb?
- Grady: Oh, Grady. Grady. Grady Hoover. It's an honour to meet you, Mr. Basset, sir. I'm probably your biggest fan.
- Grady: Something ate it!
- Earl Bassett: In two minutes?
- Grady: Well, somethin' happened to it, 'cause there is nothin' left inside.
- Earl Bassett: Something came out of it.
- Grady: What do you mean, "something came out of it"?
- Earl Bassett: Yeah, It did that thing that things do when they change, you know-- there's a word for it, uh-- It turned into something else like a caterpillar does. Only I bet that whatever came out wasn't no sweet little butterfly.
- Kate (White) Reilly: What's he doing? Has he got some kind of plan?
- Earl Bassett: Burt always has a plan when he does something. Well... usually.
- Señor Ortega: We have already contacted your partner, Señor McKee, but he was unwilling to help us...
- Earl Bassett: Sure. Val married a good woman. Why would he want to die?
- Earl Bassett: You want to hunt graboids, you better know geology. You drive, I'm going to keep my eye on this seismojigger thing.
- Burt Gummer: [Earl has set a bomb to blow up a garage containing the Shriekers] Earl! Earl, the bomb, how long did you set it for?
- Earl Bassett: Oh, I... I don't know, I just punched in some numbers and threw it in the back of your truck!
- Burt Gummer: [horrified] You WHAT? That's 2,5 tons of high explosives, Earl!
- Earl Bassett: You mean that's not enough?
- [panicking]
- Earl Bassett: Oh Burt, don't tell me it's not enough!
- Burt Gummer: Not enou... Never mind, just run! Run!
- Earl Bassett: [Grady and Earl have wrecked their truck and are stranded; however, they're excited as they've just caught a live graboid]
- [to Kate over the radio]
- Earl Bassett: Look, we need help. Will you tell Pedro to bring that big truck out here. It's got a crane on it, doesn't it?
- Kate (White) Reilly: [over radio] Yeah. It's gonna take him hours to get there.
- Grady: [Grady whoops in background]
- [referring to the graboid]
- Grady: We're gonna haul his ass off to Monster World!
- Earl Bassett: WILL YOU SHUT UP AND GET OFF THE DAMN GROUND!
- Grady: [Grady and Earl are discussing what they're gonna do with their money in the back of Earl's truck] I'm thinking big. I'm thinking theme park. Yeah, "Grady Hoover's World of Natural Wonders."
- Grady: [the wind blows Grady's umbrella off the truck and jumps onto the ground to retrieve it] Or maybe Monster World, or Monster Land, or Worm World.
- Earl Bassett: How 'bout Loony World. Seems to fit. Get off the ground!
- Grady: [it's night, Grady and Earl are waiting on top of their stranded truck for Pedro to arrive, an explosion sounds in the distance]
- [referring to Burt]
- Grady: Jesus! He got another one.
- Earl Bassett: That man never sleeps.
- [two more explosions sound in the distance]
- Burt Gummer: [over radio] Guys, Burt here. Doing a little night fishing. Got three of 'em on a cluster chare. I'd say we're about even now. Over.
- Earl Bassett: Come on, Burt. This isn't a competition.
- Burt Gummer: [over radio] Well, who's competing? I'm just saying the score is tied, that's all. Over.
- Grady: Well, 'son', no it isn't, cuz we just caught a live one. How 'bout that.
- Burt Gummer: [over radio] A live one? How in the hell...
- Grady: Well, that's our little secret. Happy hunting, Burt.
- [turns radio off]
- Earl Bassett: [laughing] I'll bet that burned his skinny ass!
- Kate (White) Reilly: That's um... a bit much, don't you think?
- [the men stare blankly]
- Kate (White) Reilly: I guess I'm wrong... I hope I'm right.
- [as Earl and Grady near Pedro's damaged truck, they see Pedro's hands]
- Grady: Hey, there he is! Pedro...
- [Grady sees all that's left of Pedro, his severed hands]
- Grady: Oh, God! OH, GOD!
- [Earl sees this as well]
- Earl Bassett: [shudders] It's a whole new ballgame - a whole new goddamn ballgame!