Stormswept

I...don't get what they were trying to do, but I can tell you with confidence that they didn't accomplish it.

I'm gonna keep it simple: The film quality is terrible, the acting is bad, and the editing is atrocious. It stars the blonde female cop from Samurai Cop, so...yeah. You know it's gonna be bad. But not entertainingly bad like Samurai Cop. Just bad bad like the Samurai Cop sequel.

It couldn't beat my 15-minute cut-off.

I watched all of three minutes of this movie before turning it off. That was two minutes too long.

This is categorized as horror - but it is closer to the erotic category. But even for that it may not qualify entirely. Well for most that is - because there is quite the sexual charge and power in there. It can not be denied - on the other hand, having "forces" from the outside as an excuse for your own actions ... do not use those "reasons" to try to talk your way out of anything.

The hairdos are quite "oldschool" (sometimes they even feel more like an 80s kind of thing, even though the movie was made in the 90s) and if you don't mind beautiful women getting naked and jumping all over each other (men included), you could do worse. Still there is or rather could have been more to this. I guess you could do a party or drinking game with this - how ridiculous certain things are. There is not much else to say here, since there is not much story to this anyway.

"Stormswept" is bad in every way: technically inept (witness the many continuity errors regarding costuming, the frequent intrusion of the boom mike into frame or the overall poor image quality), clumsily written and spottily acted. Though sold as a paranormal thriller, it is mostly an actor's workshop; the characters are stranded in a big old Louisiana plantation house while a storm rages outside. There are numerous boobs on display, male-female sex, female-female sex and lots of talking about sex, all presented in the least visually interesting fashion imaginable. Regarding its horror elements: "Stormswept" is a surprisingly bloodless film. At least a little gratuitous killing would have livened up the proceedings; when this dud reaches its rushed ending, one is tempted to scratch one's head with a dumbfounded expression and ask oneself the question, "Did I really just waste and hour and a half of my life on that?" AVOID this time-waster no matter what; you'd be better off smacking your head with a hammer and watching the stars and planets orbit for 90 minutes.

It must be pretty rare, if not unique, that you agree with what everyone has written, not totally of course but certainly in the main. No one could accuse this movie of being good, yet there are far worse, I know because like you, I've seen them.

Set in a classic haunted house, complete with thunderstorm and jump scares, it looks like it could be a homage to those amateur 70's-80's Spanish/Italian horrors, but in actuality that's just due to its poor production rather than by intention. The music and foley is indeed awful, as is the film quality and editing, but the actors do there bit despite this, and it's actually quite unsettling in parts, which just about manages to keep its head above the water.

As I and the others have said, it's not a good movie, but knowing that and if you mainly want to see some quite attractive actresses get naked, and I think they all get naked at some point, coupled with something hammy that has a bit of atmosphere, then you could do worse in my opinion.

Ps. I've rated this slightly higher than it probably deserves, just to get my point over.