Stormswept

I watched all of three minutes of this movie before turning it off. That was two minutes too long.

It must be pretty rare, if not unique, that you agree with what everyone has written, not totally of course but certainly in the main. No one could accuse this movie of being good, yet there are far worse, I know because like you, I've seen them.

Set in a classic haunted house, complete with thunderstorm and jump scares, it looks like it could be a homage to those amateur 70's-80's Spanish/Italian horrors, but in actuality that's just due to its poor production rather than by intention. The music and foley is indeed awful, as is the film quality and editing, but the actors do there bit despite this, and it's actually quite unsettling in parts, which just about manages to keep its head above the water.

As I and the others have said, it's not a good movie, but knowing that and if you mainly want to see some quite attractive actresses get naked, and I think they all get naked at some point, coupled with something hammy that has a bit of atmosphere, then you could do worse in my opinion.

Ps. I've rated this slightly higher than it probably deserves, just to get my point over.

This movie falls into the dubious Genre of, What the hell did I just watch? I use the term movie generously as a movie is equal parts cinematography and story. Stormswept is seriously lacking in the latter. It builds itself up as low budget horror/soft-core porn. Unfortunately, it only get's the low budget right. The story is laughably absent and plays like the filler between porno scenes. Only those are written better. And just when the movie finally looks like it's getting it's act together and get's moving on a story, It not only fails to deliver but gives us an ending that makes so sense whatsoever. I seriously couldn't spoil this movie even if I wanted to. Because the ending makes no sense at all.

In the end, there is no reason to watch this. One could argue Boobies, But with the internet today, one can NOT be that hard up for what brief bits of nudity that exist in this horrid purgatory of a movie. If you want decent soft-core with a spoonful of plot and a dash of Satanism, Watch Damien's Seed.

This movie doesn't know if it wants to be a psycho slasher thing, or a ghost story, or a soft core party, and ends up being none of them.

The only reason to see this picture is if you must see every frame of Lorissa McComas ever released. (Which would be understandable...) But if you were just looking for Lorissa, see _Lapdancing_, where she has a character you can care about, and more and better screen time.

I...don't get what they were trying to do, but I can tell you with confidence that they didn't accomplish it.

I'm gonna keep it simple: The film quality is terrible, the acting is bad, and the editing is atrocious. It stars the blonde female cop from Samurai Cop, so...yeah. You know it's gonna be bad. But not entertainingly bad like Samurai Cop. Just bad bad like the Samurai Cop sequel.

It couldn't beat my 15-minute cut-off.