Bad Channels

This was a film that I checked out back when I was a kid. I was a big fan of Full Moon films and there was something about the case of this one that intrigued me. I also think I saw a trailer on one of the other films from this company so I had my parents rent it for me. The synopsis is an alien determined to capture human females takes over a radio station to do it.

We kick of with the establishing the story of this film. We see something is going on at a substation and Willis (Robert Factor) shows up to check on it. There are some strange lights and a bright light hits him.

It shifts to a radio station. What makes it special is that on the AM dial, it has the call code of 66.6 and the only one in the country. The owner, Vernon Locknut (Aaron Lustig) has installed a super powerful converter so the station can broadcast all across the country. They brought in suspended DJ, Dan O'Dare (Paul Hipp), to be the voice of the channel. It is a former polka station, so he is playing it until someone can guess the combination on the padlock of chains. Covering the event is Lisa Cummings (Martha Quinn) and she is in contact with the head news reporter, Flip Humble (Roumel Reaux).

We get introduced to some people around the town of Poota, where the station is located. The local truck stop owner calls in. His name is Peanut (Sonny Carl Davis). He has a cute employee Cookie (Charlie Spradling) working for him. A local band high school member, Bunny (Daryl Strauss), also calls in. We also see a nurse at the local hospital is listening, Ginger (Melissa Behr). None of them win and it is Flip who wins the car, much to the anger of Lisa knowing that it was rigged. She threatens to pull the plug on their interview. She loses interest in it completely when she sees strange lights of what she thinks are a UFO. She tries telling Sheriff Hickman (Victor Rogers), but Dan doesn't back her up. She goes to the hospital to check on Willis, who has fungus growing on him, knowing there's a bigger story.

Things change though when an alien and its robot take over the station. They broadcast music that make the local women go into a music video before shrinking them down into tiny bottles. They have four containers. Can they be stopped before all of them are filled and they leave our planet?

Now I will admit, I have some nostalgia for this film. I can see that it isn't great, but there is something about it I like. The director is Ted Nicolaou, who I also know from the Subspecies series. I have to admit that this is a lower budget, but it has some good elements. It really feels like an updated version of the 1950's films of aliens coming to Earth to take women back to their planet. We never learn the reason why, but that's who they're targeting. Something else that I found interesting is that Lisa is played by Quinn, who at the time was a VJ for MTV. Going even farther, there are three unknown bands that kind of have music videos that associate with the places the women are taken from. It feels like Full Moon was hoping one of these bands would take off so the film could get more notoriety to be popular. Going from this, they had an aging Blue Öyster Cult do the music for the film as well.

I will admit as well. There are some cheesy things that happen that made me cringe. Being the type of film this is and being a comedy to boot, I have to forgive it. How the aliens are defeated in the end is funny. It is also not that different from War of the Worlds, just kind of in reverse. That is fitting for the type of film for sure.

The pacing of the film is good in my opinion. It doesn't waste any time introducing us to the story and to all the characters involved. The film has a running time of 88 minutes and there really is no filler. I'm glad the film isn't longer and that they didn't introduce any more subplots. I think for a film like this, it doesn't need them. It knows exactly what it is and going for, which makes it perfect how it plays out.

If you can't tell from some of things, the acting isn't great. Quinn I thought was fine in her role, but she doesn't do anything that really stands out. She does seem like a reporter who is given puff pieces, but really wants to make it. Hipp I thought was solid as DJ and does seem like a Howard Stern who got in trouble. I thought the three girls were attractive and fit their roles well. The rest of the cast round out the film for what was needed and add to the comedy as well.

Along with this, the effects were great, but this goes back to staying with the 1950's sci-fi films it is kind of mocking. I thought the space suit of the alien was kind of funny looking, but I didn't mind it. The robot was something from Mystery Science Theater 3000, but it is again fitting. Seeing the creature looked like inside the suit I didn't mind. I will say the fungus used in the film was bad. I did let it slide though. This was all done practically so I give it credit for that. The film was shot fine in my opinion as well.

I couldn't get through this without talking about the soundtrack of the film. I didn't really care for the first two bands that play or the music videos for them. I did think it was a good touch to show us what they are seeing and the showing what is really happening. I do have to say, I loved the final song with Sykotik Sinfoney. It is a song I still listen to regularly called Manic Depresso. It isn't great, but there's something about it. The rest of the score fit for what was needed.

Now with that said, I have to go back to saying this isn't a good film. I enjoy it mostly for what they were going for with almost parodying the 1950's sci-fi/alien films. The other part of it for me is the nostalgia. I thought the premise of the film isn't bad and how it plays out is good. There isn't much filler and it paced well. It doesn't build a lot of tension, but it is more of a fun film. The acting is fine and the effects are about the same. I thought the score was fitting for the film, but I do have to admit, I love the final 'video' we get. Overall I know I'm coming in higher than most, but I find this to be above average and we even get a cameo during the end credits for the sequel to this as we get a cross-over for three films from Full Moon, Dollman and Demonic Toys.

'Bad Channels' is one of the worst SF/horror movies ever made. It's so boring and unfunny that you could almost think it was directed by Ted V. Mikels of 'Blood Orgy Of The She-Devils' fame. In fact it was directed by Ted Nicolaou who previously made the useless 'TerrorVision'. Now that was one lame so-called comedy, but this one is even worse. Getting through to the very end was a real chore even with the fast forward on the remote in constant use. The other guy responsible for this crud is Jackson Barr who also scripted 'Trancers 2' (a.k.a. 'Future Cop 2'). Now that wasn't the greatest movie ever made but at least it was entertaining. I don't know what went wrong here but it's really one to miss. Even a soundtrack by Seventies Rock Gods Blue Oyster Cult and some allegedly "clever" parodies of music videos (a generic 80s hair band, a grunge thing, and a sorta Mr. Bungle/Primus one) can't save this utter waste of time. Paul Hipp (an Abel Ferrara semi-regular) leads a mediocre cast, which includes former MTV Veejay Martha Quinn and various other nonentities, in a ridiculous tale of aliens taking over a radio station with the plan of capturing Earth women, shrinking them and placing them in bottles. Why are they doing this? Who knows. Who cares. There is ONE, count 'em, ONE laugh in this whole movie and that is a cameo by b-grade legend Tim Thomerson, and that doesn't even happen until AFTER the final credits. This movie stinks on ice. Avoid at all costs!

Here's a sci-fi / horror B flick for the MTV generation, a positively goofy and cartoonish piece of lightly entertaining trash. Paul Hipp stars as "Dangerous" Dan O'Dare, a controversial radio disc jockey doing a marathon at isolated station KDUL. Well, along comes an alien, a bipedal monstrosity with a hilariously oversized head and a faithful robot. The alien (Michael Deak) takes over the station, and puts into a motion a plot to kidnap and shrink hot young woman by hypnotizing them with rock video styled visions.

"Bad Channels" has to rank as one of the silliest things that Full Moon produced. If one is looking for "cheese ball" entertainment, they could do worse than this. The various rock acts are passable, with Sykotik Sinfoney rating as the WTF highlight. This act dresses in various costumes and plays some pretty absurd stuff. All of the creature and makeup effects are pretty tacky, but that may only add to the appeal for some in the audience. That robot has to be seen to be believed.

The cast is basically okay. It is cool to see MTV VJ Martha Quinn in one of the leading roles, as ace reporter Lisa Cummings. The cast includes other familiar faces as Aaron Lustig, Ian Patrick Williams, Michael Huddleston, and Sonny Carl Davis. Sexy co-stars Charlie Spradling, Daryl Strauss, and Melissa Behr give it all their all as they dance away in what they think are these rock videos.

The truly worthy component is a score by the veteran rock band Blue Oyster Cult. Folks do have to wait through the closing credits for the best joke in the movie, a cameo by a Full Moon franchise character. As always, it's a pleasure to see this actor in anything.

Five out of 10.

Utterly bonkers movie regarding a 'shock jock' at the local radio station finding himself in danger (like the girl who cried fire to get attention then burnt to death) because aliens invade the radio studios and start collecting women (including busty waitress Cookie played by once-upon-a-time Full Moon favourite Charlie Spradling) in conical vases. Ted Nicolaou, a veteran of Full Moon films including some of their best really screws this up with lazy-haphazard and purposeless direction while the script by Charles Band and Jackson Barr (probably not a real person) is certainly among the formers' worst efforts. Tim Thomerson's Dollman character is credited and I was confused how I had missed his cameo but stay tuned until the credits finish for a relatively amusing brief Dollman extra scene. The aliens are ridiculous, one a scale covered monster, another a small tin robot that looks like it was a reject from the acclaimed Smash Potato Mix adverts. Truly rubbish film but intriguing and amusingly painful in equal measures.

I had never heard about this 1992 horror sci-fi comedy titled "Bad Channels" before now in 2023, as I happened to stumble upon the movie by random chance. And of course I opted to sit down and watch it, on account of it being a movie that I hadn't already seen.

Writers Charles Band and Jackson Barr put together something definintely unique and strange here. But it was working out in favor of the movie, because the storyline was so corny and cheesy that it was actually a fun movie to watch.

I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie, but the actors and actresses put on good performances to bring their characters to life on the screen.

The special effects in "Bad Channels" were actually working out well in favor of the movie. Some of the special effects were pretty bad, but still worked out fair enough as they were so bad that they became fun to behold on the screen. And then other effects were rather nicely made, such as the creature seen towards the end of the movie.

If you enjoy a sci-fi horror comedy that doesn't take itself particularly serious, then give director Ted Nicolaou's 1992 movie "Bad Channels" a chance. I was definitely entertained by this cheesy early 1990s movie.

My rating of "Bad Channels" lands on a five out of ten stars.