Pico et Columbus - Le voyage magique

This is without a doubt one of the stupidest films ever created. Everything from the characters to the plot to the atrocious songs is just ridiculous to a degree that is simply unfathomable. It's actually rather hard to explain because the flaws are just too numerous. Suffice to say, you will need a vomit bucket for this.

It is certainly the worst movie I've seen all the way through and I'm shocked that it didn't get a perfect 1.0 out of 10.0 for the average score. If it were up to me, I'd give this stinker a -10 or better yet, go back in time and prevent it from ever being made. Oh well, there is anime for those in search of quality animation.

From IMBD Trivia: "During the film's release in German theaters, director Michael Schoemann stated that the reason this film doesn't tell the real story about the discovery of the New World is because he wanted to create a film from a more satirical view in order to differentiate ourselves clearly from the lofty views of history, so we can present Columbus as a lovable, charming, and befuddled scholar, rather than having him portrayed as a greedy explorer as depicted in history books."

Christopher Columbus is a very controversial figure these days and instead of dealing with the controversy the filmmakers of "The Magic Voyage" decided to skirt this controversy by simply making up everything about Columbus. They also decided to include some common myths about Columbus. For example, the film says he traveled west to prove the Earth was round instead of flat...though folks in the 15th century knew the Earth was round. I'm a history teacher...trust me about this! So, from the outset you must understand that the film is NOT a history lesson...and I cannot see why parents would show a movie to their kids which is filled with myths and lies. Despite being nearly complete fiction, is the film entertaining? After all, kids won't care if the story is true...but they will care if it's boring or awful.

The story is, naturally, about Christopher Columbus. But in this version he is given ample help by his new friend, Pico...a worm...or is he a grub...or an alien...or a talking piece of cheese? Well, it's hard to tell, as the 'thing' has two arms and two legs! Whatever it is....it's a most unusual friendship...even by cartoon standards.

The quality of the animation in this film certainly won't be mistaken for Disney. It's not terrible...but it certainly is second-rate...or perhaps third. The songs are okay...and one of them is pretty catchy. As for the script and dialog...it's simply not good and often brings in fairies and other things which seem REALLY out of place. Combined with the historical errors, it's a film I'd be loathe to show to anyone...especially kids. And, considering everything, I don't thinks would mind skipping this one.

Ahhh, bad animated films. We love these kinds of flicks don't we? We love moaning about the annoying characters that we want to bash their brains out, we laugh at the rushed and cheap animation and we cringe at the crappy songs that won't make any of the Disney songwriters cry in their sleep.

Now with this little beauty here called The Magic Voyage, you have to take it with a magic pinch of salt.

You can either call it a horrible horrible film that has no redeeming qualities and is just annoying to watch, or you can go the extra mile and call it a bad film but still unbelievably funny to watch.

Guess which path I'm taking Sherlocks? Yep, that's right, the second path because I found the Magic Voyage to be a hysterical piece of animated trash from our good ol friends in Germany.

Now I can sort of see what they were going for here, they wanted to give Disney a good run for their money and try to make an animated film. They tried but they more or less failed on all accounts.

The animation here is unbelievably bad, like Paddy The Pelican levels of awfulness. This kind of thing would feel more right at home on 70's Saturday Morning TV with some other "classics" like all those toons focusing on those popular stars.

Oh yes you're also in for a treat, because like it's little brother Felix The Cat, half of the dialogue doesn't even match with the lips. Great fun for all, you could take a shot each time they make this error.

Voice acting is pretty bad, not like Felix though but still bad nonetheless. Look Mr DeLuise, I love you man but you just wasn't right for the role of Christopher Columbus and the less said about that wood character thingy the better.

Are you a person who loves history? Too bad, better look elsewhere because this is also packed with tons of historical accuracy, it goes completely off the walls and makes even Pocahontas look even more accurate by comparison.

Oh yes and this film doesn't know when to take a quick breathe just like Felix, so it's pretty loud half the time. I'm pretty sure, if this film was a real person, it would be dead in under 10 minutes or so.

Magic Voyage was hysterically bad and incredibly funny to watch. It's basically a trainwreck that is so big you can't help but just watch it anyway. A gigantic failure for all involved and pushes animation back 80 million years. (Hold on, did animation even exist back then? Beats me.) Right, I'm off to make my own historically inaccurate animated film. Byyyeeee.

Do you remember A Troll in Central Park? You know, the film that had very annoying characters, terrible songs, a pathetic plot, and horrible writing? Yeah, but at least it had beautiful animation, solid character designs, cool looking visuals, and even the voice acting was even entertaining.

This........

Oh, boy. Where do I even begin?

It revolves around Christopher Columbus who wants to journey to prove that the world is round all because of a woodworm named Pico, who meets a fairy princess of the moon sprites, but is later captured by the evil swarm lord who wants to use the princess to find the sacred light in the Aztec temple. So, they team up with other animals like three rats and a beaver with an Eeyore-like voice to save the princess and battle against the swarm lord.

You think that the Germans of this horrid film tried to make a story about the Spanish explorer (in this movie he's Italian) traveling around the world, but you're wrong. There were so many things that were totally wrong with this movie.

The animation was awful. It had lazy character designs and inconsistent backgrounds. It kind of looks like Disney, but at most times, it looks like a Saturday morning cartoon.

The voice acting? Ugh! Don't even get me started on the voice acting. I mean, I love Dom Deluise, but he's just wasn't meant to be in this film. They've done a horrible job with their voice performances.

The songs? Oh, god. They were so annoying it makes me want to press the mute button. The only good song is the one by Al Jarreau in the ending credits.

The story was ridiculous. I mean, an evil swarm lord? Princess of the moon sprites? Sacred light? Is it me or did the Germans drank too many beers when they came up with this kind of crap. Well, at least it had done what it set out to do, but that's not worth sitting through this god awful torture.

The Magic Voyage is an awful film. It's horribly animated, poorly acted, and of course, the story is completely ridiculous. If there was some way to get to the Germans, I would say: BEGONE ALL OF THY!

My Grandma has a friend who let me have a free box of mostly animated VHS tapes, and so I selected a bunch and this one was one of them.

It looked cute, and I like the idea of an animated feature about Columbus. However, I put it on for about 2 minutes and heard all of this dull narration about how he sailed the ocean blue and I thought-okay, I have no interest. Then I took it out, rewound it in my rewinder, and set it aside to get rid of.

Should I be able to review a movie I saw for only 2 minutes? Sure-Roger Ebert reviewed Johnathan Livingston Seagull after seeing 45 minutes, and he saw only 8 minutes of True Loved.

The animation is crummy, the narration was dull, and there are superior movies for children to see. There, that summarizes my thoughts.

This probably earns 0 stars from what I saw, but I will be nice and actually give it my above 1.

The average rating here is a 3.4/10-and the quality of just the opening alone really shows its justification. The other reviews should show something too.

PS, I was looking at a list of the worst animated movies ever made and this popped up. I had completely forgotten of it's existence until now. I have not thought about it for a couple of years.