- Fester: Where are those little boogers? If I was a little booger, where would I be? Mom and Dad's room!
- Colt: Hold it! Before Phase 2, I got a little surprise!
- [takes out a bottle of Lax-Go laxative]
- Tum Tum: What's that stuff?
- Colt: [Takes cap off bottle] Remember last year when you were sick and couldn't take a dump for 3 days?
- Tum Tum: Yeah...
- Colt: This is the stuff that makes you have to go.
- Colt: Instant diarrhea.
- Tum Tum: You're sick.
- Colt: Not as sick as they're gonna be.
- [stirs spiked Coke with his finger]
- Grandpa: Colt, what is a ninja?
- Colt: A ninja is one who can use everything around him to trick his enemies. He and fast and he is friendly to his environment.
- Rocky: A ninja is honest and good. His mind, body and spirit are one. He has self-control. He has discipline.
- Tum Tum: A ninja loves nature, uh, 'cause he is part of nature. A ninja never fights a battle if he cannot win.
- Fester: Okay little dude, we know you're in here somewhere. We don't wanna hurt you, we just wanna kidnap you.
- Grandpa: Alright, Samuel!
- Rocky: Sir!
- Grandpa: From this day forth until forever, you will be known as Rocky. Because you are strong, solid, and cool as granite rock!
- Rocky: [Receives mask] Awesome! Yeah!
- Grandpa: Ahh, Jeffrey. Fast and free, spirit of the young wild horse; you shall be known as Colt!
- Colt: Colt? That's cool.
- Tum Tum: What about me? Can I be Monster Destroyer? Or how about Super Killer?
- Colt: How about Super Dork?
- Tum Tum: Shut up, spazz!
- Grandpa: Ah, little one. Since your energy begins and ends with your tummy; you shall be known as Tum Tum!
- Tum Tum: Tum Tum!
- [Both Tum Tum and Grandpa laugh]
- Colt: I can't wait 'till we show these to dad!
- Rocky: He'll hate 'em.
- FBI Agent Kurl: Lets go, Sam. We got evidence to collect.
- Sam Douglas: I think you better do it by yourself, Jerry.
- FBI Agent Kurl: By myself?
- Sam Douglas: Yeah, I got a whole family of heroes I need to take out for pizza.
- Sam Douglas, Rocky: Yeah!
- [Rocky and Colt high-five]
- Rocky: C'mon Grandpa!
- Grandpa: I hate pizza!
- FBI Agent Kurl: Agent Green is ok. And we got everything. We got guns. The mortars. It's like a Warehouse for World War III. We got it all!
- Sam Douglas: We got nothing! I want Snyder! He's everything! I want him!
- Babysitter: Who is it?
- Fester: Pizza, ma'am.
- Babysitter: We didn't order any pizza!
- Fester: Uh, some kids called. Yeah, and if you don't pay, we'll, uh, we'll T.P. your house.
- The Dudes: [shove pizza in Babysitter's face] Surprise!