Dans les griffes du crime

Stephanie and I joined our friends, Mr. and Mrs. Shade, in a game of "let's test our threshold of pain" as we got together to watch the malodorous waste of celluloid known as "Killing Streets." As soon as Lorenzo Lamas appeared on screen with a HORRIBLY FAKE Southern accent we knew it was go time. "Whatchu doin' here, boyeee?" The moment he uttered his first line all four of us burst out in laughter. It was beautifully awful.

I must say this is one of the best "high school basketball coach travels to Lebanon to save his twin brother" movies I've ever seen. Oh wait, it's the only movie of that nature I've ever seen. Can you believe it?

I'm sorry to say that my plot description is completely accurate and not a figment of my imagination. This movie is all about originality! Honestly, how many other movies can you name that involve a high school basketball coach and his Lebanese cab driver taking on a huge armed-to-the-teeth terrorist group? What's that? You can't think of any? Yeah, that's what I thought.

I could go on and on about the aimless action, the stupid car chases, the implausibility of it all, the one-note "lead" actress whose function is to make out hot and heavy with the hero, but it'd be a waste of our time. I think a description of the end of the movie will sum up everything quite nicely:

One of the terrorists is holding a grenade in one hand and Paré twin #1 in the other. All of a sudden we hear the sound of a basketball being dribbled in slow motion. You read that right; there is actually an "action" movie out there that uses a dribbled basketball as a dramatic sound effect. Paré twin #1 then drops to the ground and Paré twin #2 blows away the terrorist. When Paré twin #1 asks Paré twin #2 how he knew which way he'd duck, Paré twin #2 (the basketball coach) responds with, "In basketball you always fake left and go right." Yeah.

THE GIST

If you're a masochist that, for some unknown reason, likes movies about high school coaches literally outsmarting a whole country full of Lebanese terrorists, then you might actually enjoy this movie. Otherwise, this is strictly for bad movie marks who want to get four or more friends together and create their own Mystery Science Theater episode.

It's better then most films I've seen and to be honest it is a good action film... Most of Parè's films have less then 700 votes and I don't undrstand why. He should of been a bigger star, he has more charisma then Tom Cruise. It's a decent action films with some good action sequences. The film does deserve better attention.

What a dog this one is! Poorly staged action sequences, lousy acting, terrible dialogue - and it's racist to boot. A ridiculous simplification of the political turmoil in Lebanon in the 1980s, this film would also have us believe that one American high-school basketball coach can defeat a whole army of Lebanese terrorists!!! And we are also meant to believe that the US Government would recruit this same basketball coach (and his friendly Lebanese taxi driver!!!) in an operation to rescue American hostages - a four man operation against hundreds of armed-to-the-teeth terrorists. The resulting rescue scene is almost as funny as the opening scene of "The Naked Gun". This sort of nonsense certainly does nothing to help US relations with the Middle East - and, as this was an Israeli-American co-production, it does little to help Arab-Israeli relations either.

On the plus side there is some excellent male eye-candy. Lorenzo Lamas, an even worse actor than his father (if such a thing is possible), is pretty easy on the eye. But even better we have no less than two Michael Pares - he plays twin brothers, and neither brother seems to be too fond of wearing shirts! It's a shame that Pare ended up in this sort of z-grade rubbish, particularly after such a promising start in "Eddie and the Cruisers".

With the hunk factor so high, maybe you could watch "Killing Streets" with the sound turned down, put something sexy on the stereo, and simply admire the view!

I was surprised that there was only one comment on this film. This is definitely another example of an American-Israeli co-production which is completely offensive to anybody other than Americans or Israelis! Stereotypes abound, historical inaccuracy, blatant racism, jingoism galore, this movie is painful to watch. Other than that, it's your typical low budget action film. Worth a watch on late night cable.

This is the fourth Paré flick I catch, the others being Bad Moon(a crossbreed of Lassie and your typical sub-par werewolf story), Deadly Heroes(that reuses part of a so-so car-chase in this, and is pure camp) and Village of the Damned(where I must have been basically fine with him, as I don't recall him standing out as poor). Here, he's playing two(I think; it is difficult to determine, as the only thing that sets them apart... *at all*... is that one has a patch of blood over his left eye, as evidence that he's been tortured) identical cousins(they walk and talk alike)... no, wait, twins. Yeah, they feel each other's pain(well, once, when it's required for this thing's excuse for a plot)... has that *ever* been a compelling idea? Whether or not such a thing is just a little bit realistic, it is corny as all hell. Anyway, where Double Impact had split-screen shots, we don't even get *that* here. Chris Brandt wakes up one morning, certain that his brother(in Lebanon, engaged in the conflict) is alive(he dreamt it, you see; at this point, the producers remind the writers that they are, in fact, not currently doing a script for My Little Pony). There is relatively little action, and only near the end does it get to be at least decent. This is one of the stupidest protagonists I've encountered. For some reason, he sure can fight, in spite of being a mere basketball coach. This is not that exciting or entertaining. There is hardly any tension. It is definitely a B-movie, with the acting "talent" to match. The score is fine, nothing special. Same goes for the dialog, with the occasional exception that is concentrated pain in audio form. As another person already put it, this is put together by Americans and Isralies, and offensive to everyone but those groups. There is a little sexuality/eye-candy and moderate, bloody violence in this. Flat, one-sided, and will probably give you constipation... similar, I suppose, to a pizza, albeit without the appeasing scent and taste. Yeah, watch the JCVD film instead. I recommend this solely to those looking for a fix in the genre. 4/10