Destructor

Hired to Kill is like if Andy Sidaris made The Expendables but with none of his usual energy. It boasts performances bad enough to make even Arnie wince, forgettable action and comedy that is completely unintentional. Yet, it's a pitch-perfect encapsulation of 90s direct-to-video shlock with a fairly meaty budget given all the explosions and globe-trotting location work, with fan favourite Brian Thompson getting to play the hero for once and bolstered by relatively memorable supporting roles by frigging Oliver Reed and George Kennedy. There's no real style to the direction but it's all done with competency and earnestness which shine through the film's otherwise weaker aspects while Jerry Grant's score feels like it was constructed from the outtakes he had left over from his work on Magnum P. I. and The A-Team. While it's a little dull at points, Hired to Kill is still an entertaining and pacey little B-movie, if a bit bloodless.

A fashion photographer (Brian Thompson) and seven models travel to a South American island fortress, ostensibly to do a fashion shoot. In reality, the photographer is a mercenary and their job is to free an imprisoned rebel leader. The director describes it as "Magnificent Seven" with women.

This is really the height of 1990s cheese. It has the sensibility of a 1980s action film, and that is not surprisingly since it was probably filmed in 1989. All the excess and over-the-top things you expect. Brian Thompson may not be Stallone or Schwarzenegger, but he knows what to do in this sort of role. Is he a cheesy actor? Very much... his delivery of lines is pretty rough. Apparently, he was the director's son-in-law at the time, possibly explaining his casting.

Oliver Reed appears, and it has been a few years since he was the big star of "The Brood" or "Curse of the Werewolf" (among his many other achievements). The most notable thing about his role in this film is a very big mustache that makes him almost unrecognizable. The director freely describes him as a "hostile drunk" who abused his wife; he was gentle when sober, but he was rarely sober. Thompson concurs saying, "I never saw Oliver Reed sober."

Besides the excellent 2K restoration, the Arrow Video release includes audio commentary with editor Barry Zetlin (who has a very impressive resume of horror and cult films and talks at length about his career), and brand new interviews with director Nico Mastorakis and star Brian Thompson.

I love this director. First, he gave us Island of Death, an utterly outrageous and hilarious piece of video nasty trash. Then, after thinking that was the only film he'd ever made, I found myself watching Nightmare at Noon, a Crazies style film with plenty of action and hoots. Now, I've sat through Hired to Kill, and although it's not as good as those two films, it still has plenty of daftness to keep my attention.

Brian Thompson is one of those secret service types hired to infiltrate a despotic country and overthrow dictator Oliver Reed, but not just that, he's got to do it posing as a gay fashion designer with an entourage of special forces beauties posing as models. So it's kind of like the dirty dozen remade by Vogue magazine, including the obligatory training scene, and the obligatory fashion model shoot. No wonder Oliver Reed looks perplexed (and a little bit toasted in a couple of scenes).

This is all pretty fun stuff, but there's a lack of action for the first hour or so. Still, there's the standout scene where Oliver Reed checks whether or not Thompson is actually gay or not which had me in stitches. I'm not even sure Reed was expecting to be kissed by Thompson because his surprise seems pretty genuine. Great stuff.

I love these old action movies with bad actors and all the cliches, they're simply just so funny. If you liked showdown in little tokyo or any of Arnolds action movies, then you'll like this :) Too bad this one wasn't shown in cinemas and I had to rent the DVD. So if you have a good sounds system and a thing for old action movies, then GET THIS ONE!!!

When I checked for the first time the IMDB page for HIRED TO KILL I was torn between curiosity and repulsion. Curiosity because it has lots of good looking women, lots of exotic locations and also George Kennedy and Josè Ferrer in the cast. Repulsion because it has a low score and the lead is played by Brian Thompson (who at that time looked like the poor man's version of Sylvester Stallone and Jean Claude Van Damme). However I ended up enjoying it very much and I couldn't believe the bad reputation this movie had for years.

The movie is about mercenary Frank Ryan (Thompson) who is summoned by Agent Thomas (Kennedy) to go to Cyprus and free a revolutionary leader (Ferrer) held hostage by President Bartos (Oliver Reed). At the beginning Frank is reluctant, but in the end he accepts and he has its own plan: he poses as a fashion photographer and lets some women mercenaries pose as his models and after some photoshoots they go to the mission. How they will make it? See the movie.

This movie is nothing special. It has lots of action and some cool sequences here and there. I think that people who lived in the 1990s and who even saw it back then would have lots of nostalgia since there are also some songs of that period.

However, don't expect a masterpiece of the action genre like DIE HARD or POINT BREAK. Just think about it like one of the many B-movies of the genre that were made in a period when they usually went also straight to video that can be enjoyed even by non-fans of the genre.