Cool as Ice

this is by far the funniest movie I have ever seen!! It has great dance scenes in it and some incredible acting by Mr Ice.

It´s so damn funny that I actually have managed to see it twice!! And halfway through the movie, when you thought that nothing more funny possibly can happen, Mr Ice starts dancing in the desert...

This movie is by far the best there is!!!! He is so damn funny.........

This has to be to be the most unintentionally hilarious "movie" ever made! Its like the worst Saved By The Bell episode only...worse! You have to wonder what was going on through Vanilla Ice's head during rehearsals and sitting through the premeire...

Every once in a while a film comes along that changes the way we look at cinema. A film that redefines the art of movie-making and lives with the viewer long after he/she has experienced it. You may hear the critics mutter the words Star Wars, Citizen Kane or Gone With the Wind but, obviously, they don't know Ice, they don't know him at all.

If ever there was a movie that proved the Oscars are a farce, it's Cool as Ice. It clearly got snubbed and I guess we'll never know why. The only reason I can fathom is the academy's fear of the Ice man's Day-glo clashing with the red carpet. Clearly the better solution would have been a Day-glo carpet.

Maybe I'm a little biased because I see so much of myself in Ice's character and the personal journey he embarks on in the film. I, too, am a complex, misunderstood white male, searching for identity and a good lawn on which to do the running man. I also have a way with words and a way with the ladies and, gosh darn it, I just love to impress country folk with my fly threads and dope moves on the dance floor, yep yep.

The script is a work of art and is destined to become a textbook example for its conflict, character development and subtext. I can't decide who the bigger genius is: The writer or Vanilla Ice, himself, because let's face it it's not just the lines but the delivery of them. "Lose the zero, get with the hero" - pure gold.

Do what ever it takes to see this film. Beg, borrow, steal or even buy it. For all those who still wear Day-glo clothing or caps with polished metal logos, who still shave lines into their eyebrows or just consider themselves romantics, Vanilla will reinforce what you already know: You are Cool as Ice. It's also a hell of a lot better than watching Vanilla on Celebrity Boxing, no really it is.

For those too young to remember, Vanilla Ice was a malignant tumor growing on the popular music scene ten years ago. Along with MC Hammer and Marky Mark he pilfered and diluted black music to make it commercially acceptable to middle-class white children. His flash-in-the-pan `attitude' eventually fizzled away - but not before becoming the blueprint for every idiot bad-boy pop star on top of the charts today.

Cut to ten years later, and the threat of an Ice comeback is unlikely. It's the perfect time to watch COOL AS ICE. The film bombed on release, and signaled the end was nigh for Vanilla Ice. Watching it today, the star reduced to a relic of inane pop history, the film becomes a candidate for the best worst film of all time.

Rebels and their motorcycles have a history on screen. They define the times. Marlon Brando was the quintessential bad boy when he rode into town as THE WILD ONE. Fast-forward fifteen years and history repeats: Fonda and Hopper rewrite the Hollywood rulebook in EASY RIDER.

In COOL AS ICE, the bad boy of rap rides into the suburbs with his all-black posse, ready to reap havoc on suburbia, right? Wrong. Ice's crew only reappear when director David Kellogg requires a cut-away shot. Even then, rather than scaring the local children, they're making peanut-butter sandwiches and watching TV. They sit around, waiting for Vanilla to get the girl.

The romantic sub-plot is a peach. She's the highest achieving student in town, but will she risk her future for Vanilla Ice? He's a self-educated poet of the street, although his actual words of wisdom somehow escape me at the moment. The sub-sub plot involves her father, who we are led to believe was the most honest cop on a corrupt force. Despite seemingly being transplanted back into the same community, he doesn't mind going on television so the bad guys can find him.

There's a few other sub-sub-sub plots of minimal concern, but no real story. It's a star vehicle resting on the shoulders of a ludicrously vain idiot. Fortunately, his fifteen minutes of fame and torture translates to a typically foolish ninety minutes. The most vain ego exercise in Hollywood history? Perhaps. All in vain? Definitely.

I've read a few of the reviews about this film and most of them are pretty spot on. As a film it truly deserves to be rooted in the worst 100 list, terribly acting by the two *bad* cops, worse still by straight laced Michael Gross - and the less said about Vanilla's acting ability the better.

Worse than the acting is the absolutely hilarious Cameo by Naomi Campbell in the opening credits, who screams her way through a really really hideous song whilst dancing badly and constantly trying to brush her hair away from her face.

After this initial horrific all singing all dancing intro, some bint gives Vanilla her phone number just so that we're reminded how great Vanilla ice is, and then the film starts proper. At this point you're just recovering from the awfulness of the dark warehouse intro, and suddenly you're assaulted by the wildy vivid colours of... pretty much everything actually, it's a constant throughout the film that everything is just too vivid, its hard to explain, but once you've noticed it, its actually quite amusing.

This is pretty much how the film goes, just as you think you've seen the most awful scene in cinematic history, along comes another, worse one that manages to make the last one look average. A great example of this is the way that in the first couple of minutes, Vanilla 'bunny hops' his 250kg GSXR-1100 over a 5 foot high fence. An absolute classic moment in cinema which stays with you... kind of like syphillis.

But it's for all these reasons (and hundreds more) that you should watch this film. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. I've never really been an advocate of the 'so bad it's good' school of thought, but I'll make an exception for this film. Not only have I seen it many times, but I bought it new from Amazon a little while ago so I can say I have an original copy. In years to come it will be completely priceless, such is the cult following of this shocking celluloid mistake.

I really would recommend that you see it, not because it's great, but just so you can appreciate how bad something can actually be, and how much of a complete freak of a movie this is.

I've never witnessed a scene in a movie which can compete with the pure hilarity of Vanilla dancing on his own, like a tw@t, outside the old people's house in his dayglo pants wearing his stupid jacket. I challenge anyone not to laugh outloud during this, and many other classic moments.

Deserves both 1 out of 10 as a film, and 10 out of 10 as a must see classic bomb.