Bloodsucking Pharaohs in Pittsburgh

This film is a waste of 90 minutes of your life. Originally titled "Picking Up The Pieces". The production values are terrible, the acting is horrendous, the characters unlikeable and the story is lame. For God's sake, one of the leads is Jane Hamilton (aka porno star Veronica Hart) and does she bare any flesh? Heck no.

This film is promoted as a black comedy but the script is so unfunny that it fails this category. The gore scenes are so amatuerish that Tom Savini must have used the entire SFX budget on the one good effect (a flesh ripping scene.) Pittsburgh offers so many great locations and none are used in this film. The music is cheesy. Don't get me wrong-this movie is not one of those so-bad-it's good flix. This is a stinker thru and thru. When you're laying on your deathbed you'll wish you had this 90 minutes back.

Pittsburgh cops Joe Blocker (Joe Sharkey) and Sweeney Birdwell (Jake Dengel) are in charge of finding a serial killer who is carving up prostitutes with a variety of gardening tools. It all seems so familiar for Blocker as the case echoes an Egyptian killer he almost nabbed in Las Vegas. He sends for his old Vegas partner, but gets his daughter Deedee (Susann Fletcher) instead. Why? Because it seems her dad is mysteriously missing. Another in the line of BLOOD FEAST wannabes (alongside the likes of BLOOD DINER), BPIP is something I didn't like when I first saw it on video back in 1991. So, naturally, I must revisit it 20+ years later to confirm, yup, it still sucks. The filmmakers openly compare this horror-comedy to AIRPLANE, but I'd think you'd have to include some jokes to do that. It certainly tries to be funny, but fails miserably. Example of humor: Blocker slipping on a severed ear while chasing a suspect. The recurring joke is Blocker gets ill any time he sees blood and people always say "I hear he has a sexual problem" when he is mentioned. Haha? The highlight for me was Birdwell's wife taking anti-smoking sessions, one of which ends with her being blasted by a water hose by some guys in gorilla costumes. It is a shame it didn't come together better because the production looks really nice with some great photography. Tom Savini did the gory FX, most of which ended up on the cutting room floor for the Paramount VHS release. The Lucky 13 special edition features the cut stuff in a deleted scenes supplement and it is pretty good work from the man.

Do you like B movies? REALLY like B movies? This is the one for you! If you prefer to watch REAL FILMS, don't bother. I doubt the Academy ever watched this one, and they certainly wouldn't be nominating it for any awards.

A twisted comedy/thriller (listed as horror, but thriller seems more appropriate), this flick -- I dare not call it a FILM -- was refreshing, like a spring rain. Think Naked Gun on a low, LOW budget. Serial killer, brutal murders of prostitutes (with the most enticing weapon selections), a cop who vomits at the sight of blood, AND a porn star (Jane Hamilton as dull-witted roller-skating waitress Grace) . . .

There's no point in discussing cinematography; I'm guessing film-school camera work and editing. Better than Blair Witch, not as good as Suspiria. Acting is mediocre, but at a level appropriate to the genre.

Keep your eyes open for occasional sight gags, and your ears open for the one-liners. Corny sometimes, but again, appropriate to the genre. A few good laughs, some pretty good gore (much more convincing blood than Argento uses), and a fun plot twist.

If I've learned one thing from this movie, it is: If you are a prostitute, and your trick brings a generator, run. Fast.

No pun intended - I had no idea what I was getting myself into. And some may feel the movie had no idea what it was supposed to be either. I think it is fair to say, that the movie is as silly and cheesy as it can be. And quite bloody overall - although deleted scenes on the disc I own suggest it could have been worse/better (depending on your own taste I reckon).

The scene with the hat quite early on will be an indicator if you can bare it - do you like the humor (silly - I repeat: Silly!) or do you find it annoying as it can get? This will inform if you should continue watching. If you can dig it, there is some fun to be had along the road of course. An oddity I had no idea existed ...

Bloodsucking Pharaohs in Pittsburgh stands as a testament to the chasm between ambitious titling and actual execution. The film's wonderfully absurd moniker promises a gonzo horror-comedy romp that sadly never materializes, leaving viewers with a decidedly conventional police procedural dressed up in genre clothing.

The cinematography feels workmanlike rather than inspired, capturing Pittsburgh's gritty urban landscape without any particular visual flair or atmospheric depth. Tschetter's direction lacks the manic energy necessary to elevate what amounts to a straightforward serial killer investigation into the realm of effective horror-comedy. The film's tone wavers uncomfortably between genuine police drama and attempted camp, never finding the right balance to make either approach compelling.

Jake Dengel delivers a serviceable performance as Detective Sweeney Birdwell, bringing a weary professionalism to his role that anchors the film's more grounded moments. Joe Sharkey, as Detective Joe Blocker, commits fully to his character's squeamish nature, though the recurring gag of his vomiting at crime scenes grows tiresome quickly. Susann Fletcher brings energy to her role as Deedee Taylor, the detective's daughter who becomes involved in the investigation, though her character feels somewhat underdeveloped. Beverly Penberthy, who also served as co-producer, provides occasional comic relief as Birdwell's chain-smoking wife attempting to quit through extreme methods.

The film's greatest asset comes from Tom Savini's makeup effects work, which provides the visceral punch the story desperately needs. However, even these expertly crafted gore sequences cannot compensate for the film's fundamental lack of narrative drive or comedic timing. The script repeatedly returns to the same handful of running gags without developing them into anything more substantial or amusing.