Metal Monster

Terrible, awful, abominable, contrived, just plain bad, horrendous, laughable, dreadful, ghastly, so bad it just has to be watched. I could not stop, I had to watch it to the end, I just had to find out how bad it could get. Well, it did not disappoint. The ending was definitely up to the rest of the movie, only worse. Just how many feet of film was wasted on this I don't know. But 1 second's worth is too much. I curse hurricane Jeanne for trapping me in the house with only this (UPN) coming in clearly on my TV. It was this or hurricane coverage of fallen trees and dogs wading through puddles. I chose this. It was a tough choice. I probably would have been better off if I was one of those who lost power. I think I secretly hoped I would lose power so I could breakaway from this mesmerizing stupidity.

It starts out okay; I like that compressed visual depth of field, as it evokes a distortion of reality, consistent with the story's theme. But oh how this film quickly deteriorates.

Driving a school bus for a living, Laura (Joanna Cassidy) is a single mom who has moved with her teenage daughter to a small, presumably quiet rural town to get away from big city crime. Much to her chagrin, an ugly yellowish old car with windows that apparently are tinted, as you cannot see inside, terrorizes Laura and her daughter, then terrorizes the whole town. The first half is marginal at best, as the script trends cliché-ridden and borrowed, and characters are superficial. Then comes that dreadful second half.

The script is written so that at the midpoint plot turn, Laura, driving the school bus, gives chase to the evil car, which has just kidnapped Laura's daughter. The chase "scene" expands to almost the entire second half, some 35 minutes. It's just Laura in the school bus and Laura's daughter kidnapped inside the car.

Sometimes the school bus chases the car. At other times the car chases the school bus. It all depends on where in the plot you arrive at, after you have used your remote to fast-forward through all that chase redundancy. The ending is as hokey and laughable as any ending I have seen. We get dust flying through the air, lots of frenetic background music, screaming, silly maneuvers, explosions, and vehicles that are so durable that even after falling off a cliff, they still return with purring engines and tires that never go flat.

The editing, stunts, and photography in the chase scenes are actually quite good. And Joanna Cassidy is a fine actress. But the script's plot structure is way too unbalanced. The action is not believable. And the film comes across as a rip-off of James Brolin's movie "The Car" (1977). "Wheels Of Terror" might have had some degree of credibility with a vastly rewritten script. As is, it's not worth watching unless the viewer is interested in learning the technical aspects of filming a chase scene.

Pretty dull thriller. The director chooses an "arty" approach with lots of slow-motion sequences, "poetic" music and minimal dialogue, and it doesn't work. The characters have no personality, the script is virtually non-existent and the suspense is deflated by the fact that the "evil" car's driver (or the evil car itself) has plenty of opportunities to get away from the heroine who chases him, but keeps returning to do battle with her as if he has some scores to settle (we never find out what they might be). While you're watching this movie, don't be surprised if your mind starts going elsewhere, like into thinking what's for dinner or the next day's chores. (*1/2)

I loved "Wheels Of Terror" I saw it back in 1990 on television and then recently saw it for sale on ebay and bought a copy......I liked it but I think some of the movie is wasted on slow motion scenes...I would recommend this movie to anyone. Joanna Cassidy is awesome.....the drama and the plot seemed kinda corny before I watched it ya know how could the bus keep up with that fast dodge charger...everything is explained...I am writing a scrip for "Wheels Of Terror II Burn Rubber" which is my own creation I am going to try my hardest to make that movie a reality and maybe it would bring "Wheels Of Terror" back to television or even put it in theaters but I doubt it. I left a message for the sequel I am putting together on the message board.....please give me in put on it. Wheels Of Terror on a scale on 1-10...1 is bad 10 is good......I would give it a 7 it is a favorite of mine.

That pretty much sums up the film. There's a car without a driver, the aformentioned hotshot, and a "suped-up" yellow schoolbus. The whole 1st half of the movie is set-up for the second half, which is a ridiculous chase between the "driverless car" and our heroine.