State Park, la course sauvage

Do yourself a favor and watch a candidate for best worst movie.

Whole lot of fashion victims got together and filmed a movie so terrible the refused to put it in videohound books and so 1980s that it is shocking the word ozone is not mentioned. On the other hand it has some very decently looking actresses, teases us with just enough nudity to barely..... just barely hold our attention, throws in ted nugent because...... reasons, and surrounds the whole silly affair with a lunk headed dumb plot about corporations, toxic waste, and environmental concerns. There's also a heavy metal band in the spirit of KISS camping (do people like that ever feel the need to go camping?) lessons about not judging people, some sort obstacle course race at the end and you sitting in your living room having just lost half an IQ point that you'll never recover no matter how many times you read A Brief History of Time. But the tits are nice....

Several youths converge on a State Park in Michigan, which is threatened by a mogul who wants to usurp the land of a family that does business with the swimmers & campers, not to mention dump toxic waste nearby. James Wilder and Kim Myers play the main protagonists.

"State Park" (1988) was also known as "Heavy Metal Summer" on video. It's a goofy B comedy focusing on summer camp, just not in the usual sense of youths going to camp together as an organized group à la "Meatballs" (1979). While this is a low-budget production and technically a "bad movie," it's superior in all-around entertainment. And entertainment is the name of the game. Yes, it's sometimes over-the-top silly, but it has a good cast, a picturesque setting, a compelling story, a quality 80's soundtrack and a famous hard rock musician makes a surprise appearance.

On the female front, Myer as Eve is super-cute, even stunning in a young Meryl Streep kind of way; you might remember her from "A Nightmare on Elm Street 2" (1985) or, more likely, as Pam on the 1996 Seinfeld episode "The Soul Mate." Meanwhile Isabelle Mejias plays Marsha and I like her story arc with the punk-metal dude. Then there's Jennifer Inch as Linnie; she's winsome and has a notable soft feminine voice. On the other side of the gender spectrum, James Wilder has the 'cool' factor of Peter Fonda, albeit a little shorter.

I can't fail to mention the entertaining subplot about the two metal rockers. The drummer (Louis Tucci) is reminiscent of Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue. It's amusing when they finally perform live because (1) they're not very heavy or extreme at all and (2) the singer sounds like a woman; of course the reason is because it was Rachel Sweet singing the song on the soundtrack (it's just part of the joke, I guess). "Love is Like a Chainsaw" is one of the songs. The female vocal lines and spirit reminded me of "Living in America" by The Sounds, released 14 years later. I guess everything old is new again, huh?

Besides Rachel Sweet, the soundtrack includes the likes of Ted Nugent and TT Quick amongst others.

This is just a fun flick that captures the magic of the mid/late 80s (because that's when it was shot); turn off your brain and enjoy.

The film runs 1 hour, 27 minutes, and was shot at Mont-Tremblant National Park & the corresponding Lac Monroe, Québec, which are located a little over an hour's drive northwest of Montreal.

GRADE: B.

This isn't a bad film but that doesn't mean it's good. It's really a cash grab of sorts, trying to come in on the success of other like films, especially with Rafal Zielinski's connection to Roger Corman in the 80's. There's a summer vibe energy, the actors did a fair job (many, not all), the soundtrack won't be memorable but it's fun. For its era, I'm sure the eco-warrior angle was popular but it doesn't age well at all. I'm sure there's enough of a market still for boobs and sex romps but it's definitely an eye rolling tactic. The overly horny hair stylist and the ever-pursuing horndog little brother definitely screamed 80's cringe. I would have loved to see a heavier metal scene or two, but bringing in Ted Nugent was fun.

In 1988, this would've been a three at best, but because it is so gloriously 1980's, it's a five here from 2024.

So hard to believe this film is almost forty years old.

It does have one of the most 1980's movie scenes ever in the recorded history of film, ever!

In one continuous shot, a dude about to dive into a lake, strips off his jeans and (in all seriousness) reveals that underneath it all, he's wearing cutoff jean shorts, yes, jorts!!!

He's like, I'm jumping in there, hold up, unzips, pulls off the tight jeans he was already wearing, and right underneath, even together jorts!!!

And then he dives into the lake!!

Amazing!!!

Of course this film is silly and meaningless.

Eighties stereotypes reign supreme.

The geeks and nerds.

The glam metal made up punks.

The dumb jocks.

The pretty sorority type girls.

But they should've called this Provincial Park as this appears to have been filmed in Quebec.

Oui, it's true!

And the story is about white dudes in suits (who else?) inexplicably wanting to dump toxic waste at the provincial, I mean, state park.

An unknown vigilante in a bear suit keeps sabotaging their progress.

The girls are pretty.

Their hair and makeup obviously of that time.

Oh, and Ted Nugent is in this!!

He really is!!

Even one of his songs is in it.

I would've seen him in concert around this time with .38 Special!!

But I've never heard of this film.

It's not a bad day at the park.

It's just a way better time warp.

No way!

Way.