Robot Ninja

I bought this movie for six dollars at this place that smelled like green beans. I thought it'd be cool, because I adore both robots AND ninjas. I feel I enjoy them equally. Both are enriching, and make for splendid film components, be it sci-fi, drama, or what have you. May I state here that this horrid film contains neither a robot nor a ninja. It does not even feature a robot that happens to be a ninja, or vice-versa, as the title would seem to imply. Rather, it is about a comic-book artist who is angry that there is crime, and decides to dress up like a comic book guy and mutilate people in disgustingly low-budget ways. The lead character is by far the least likable character in the movie, which says a lot since many of the other characters are in fact rapists. None of the violence is at all realistic, or at least I hope it doesn't look that gross when you poke people's eyes out. Linnea Quigley and Burt Ward are both in it, for whatever reason. They must be astonishingly poverty-stricken. Anyway, you won't like this, and I'm sorry I purchased it. You should probably destroy any copies you are able to get your hands on. Please do so now.

...here it is.

I rented this in my early teens sometime, actually hoping for a Ninja movie, or better yet, a ROBOT Ninja movie.

The main character and some inventor guy make this costume, and becomes... THE ROBOT NINJA! dun dun dun....

Well, it's a guy in a dumb looking suit. He's not a robot, and he's not a ninja. I'm pretty sure he never even tried to do any sort of "ninja move" either.

The whole thing was really really boring and lame, and I'm sure that if I watched it again now I'd laugh my ass off at how horrible this thing is. At the time I wanted a damn ninja movie, and this thing just plain sucked.

Could have used more ninjas, robots, and robot ninjas.

Don't get me wrong, I rented because it looked so bad... call me a masochist. I'll never have that hour and a half back. But I look at it as a positive experience, now I know what NOT to do if I ever make a movie. I especially love when he repairs his arm with the junk on the table, and how the lead bad girl rapes the guy. How does a woman rape a man? Oh well. Like I said, it was fun, but only because it was so bad it was good. Don't rent it expecting anything other than a good laugh at these poor souls' expense.

Make no mistake, this is a very bad movie. It is a rare gem that is so bad it will leave you aching with laughter. Its hard to imagine what the makers were thinking as they made it. I wonder what they thought once they saw the finished product. Did they laugh as much as I? Will you?

A friend rented this movie a few years ago are a party, and a few people ran to the bathroom to puke their guts out. This movie is basically low-budget violence for the sake of low-budget violence, done in an incredibly disturbing and violent way. Unlike other movies that disturb you and are thought-provoking, this just leaves you feeling cheap, dirty, and sick to your stomach. No good story, terrible acting, obviously no budget. This could have not even looked good on paper. If you take pleasure in seeing a man get his forearm stabbed repeatedly by a girl gang, only to have him stick a metal plate into the wound, this is the movie for you.