Calamity of Snakes

Cobra crushing, python pounding, boa bashing, mamba mashing, and all round general asp annihilation: Calamity of Snakes' catalogue of real-life cruelty to the lowly serpent is simply quite staggering, and makes this early 80s example of Hong Kong snakesploitation unmissable for fans of the downright weird and absurd (although definitely not one for animal lovers).

Featuring more scaly skin than Judith Chalmers in a hall of mirrors, William Chang's unbelievably silly snake-snuff movie sees thousands of the wriggly critters invade an exclusive high-rise apartment block seeking revenge for the wholesale slaughter of their pals during the construction of the building. As the hissing horde slithers and slides from room to room to attack the residents, a group of highly trained reptile exterminators (in fetching silver overalls and matching helmets) race to the rescue, armed with dry ice and flame throwers. But will even they be able to handle the ferocious monster boa that leads the reptilian rampage?

Totally outrageous from start to finish, with endless animal violence (no budget for fancy animatronics in this one!), 'crazy' Hong Kong comedy (speeded up footage ala Benny Hill, a fat woman who eats like a pig, and an old bloke whose hair stands on end), snake-fu, and dreadful disco dancing, Calamity of Snakes is one of those rare treats that makes hunting for obscure movies worthwhile. Apart from a few talkative scenes which do slow down the action a little, this is pure trash entertainment.

One of the most demented Asian exploitationers of the period that's part martial arts comedy gold, part genuinely disturbing reptilian snuff film, no other killer creature feature hates its animals as much as Calamity of Snakes. Thousands of snakes are chopped, skinned, burned, bulldozed and butchered on camera and in horrific detail; when they're not being killed, people are talking about killing them. Stolen musical score aside (don't think I wouldn't notice such a casual use of The Alan Parson Project and Bill Conti's score to For Your Eyes Only), it's a hypnotically engaging film and even with the gruesome, downright despicable displays being perpetrated onscreen, I couldn't bring myself to turn away. Moving at a lightning pace with snake bites coming thick and fast, there's a weird fascination watching so horrific unfold before your very eyes, taking the influence of Jaws to the farthest possible reaches. Calamity of Snakes isn't a good movie, even with a beyond-insane human-cobra Kung Fu duel, it's sure as hell entertaining; though it will ultimately hinge on your tolerance for excessive animal cruelty more than the sheer bizarreness of it all. It's undeniably a bit of an endurance test and mainly one for the terminally curious who think they've seen it all.

I don't remember now how I found out about this film - with that said, I'm so glad I did find it and that I watched a VHS rip on YouTube.

This movie is insane. As soon as I saw the concept, I knew I had to watch it. But it exceeded any expectations I had. It starts with how they kill the snakes; I don't consider this as a spoiler as it's in the plot summary. They use a freaking BULLDOZER! They say there are 80 THOUSAND snakes in the pit when they find it. You need serious firepower for that.

The ridiculousness only goes up from there. I definitely recommend this film if you enjoy cult horror, or even a kung fu/martial arts fan, you would enjoy. I got Shaw Brothers vibes.

The one thing I didn't love is what I assume to be the live skinning of a snake, as well as the killing of many snakes in that first scene setting the pace for the murder rate through the runtime. I'm posting this as a warning for this who watch and aren't expecting to see a snake heart still beating, or a snake and a badger fighting to the death. If it makes you feel any better, it really makes you root for the snakes! The badger part was really unnecessary, and goes on for way too long.

Watching the snakes get their revenge is pretty insane. So many snakes! The snake budget for this film must have been astronomical. It's awesome watching them cause destruction in large numbers, including a massive Boa.

In all, give this a try. Skip the animal cruelty if you would rather avoid it - they make it obvious when it's about to happen. Aside from that, I really enjoyed it and I'm glad I stumbled upon it.

Holy crap this movie was something else. Calamity of Snakes is the absolute perfect title for this flick. I've never seen a calamity like this...and whowee was this a calamity. A hell of a calamity. A calamity with f'in snakes!! If you're looking for a film that portrays a calamity, don't look any further. Though if you suffer from ophidiophobia, then maybe you should pass, but again, if you're looking for a calamity based film or are a fan of calamity type films, this is a MUST see.

The version you will most likely see is the Cantonese dubbed, non-subtitled version. But hell, it doesn't matter in the slightest. Here's the story. While during the construction of a Condominium/Hotel/Building the workers find a jam packed den full of snakes. The evil dude behind this all could give a crap about the snakes and personally disposes of the first batch he sees. Well, this doesn't sit too well with the snakes. They are a proud species. And who'd deny that? Nobody that's who! They've been around much longer than us, and will most likely be around after we kick the bucket. Well, the snakes take revenge. From cobras to green tree pythons to gigantic, tail bashing, whipping, smacking, reticulated pythons! They take revenge seriously. Ruining dance parties, baths, bathroom breaks, naps, and even sewing. Believe it! You wouldn't believe the human activities they end up ruining! The humans strike back, but are they up for the challenge when thousands and thousands of snakes are flying through the air, biting faces, ankles, fingers...oh my.

Calamity of Snakes is the first venture I've taken into Snakesploitation, and tell ya what, after seeing this, it won't be the last. Though, I do have to warn you, just in case you've chosen my comment to read and no others I'm kinda forced to tell you this. This movie has barely any special effects. The only special effects I saw was a fake snake, some bloody faces, and some speeding up to make the snakes seem more threatening. So that means when the people kill the snakes, yep, they are really hacking, slashing, biting, stepping, throwing, burning, biting these poor snakes. At first you're taken back, since it's kinda sad that they actually are killing these snakes. I have a ball python as a pet, and I'd hate to see my baby writhe on the ground in it's final attempts at survival. So if you're offended by animal cruelty, you may want to think about it. But at the same time, the movie has a silly, goofy tone to it as well. And it's arguably a really entertaining movie. Though if you're a big time animal rights person, nothing will sway you to seeing this movie...and I don't blame ya. But this movie is one hell of a ride, and it's one hell of a calamity too. A calamity that involves snakes! Now who wouldn't want to see that?! Hmmmm?

Calamity of Snakes - 1982 (This Film Rates a A- ) A subtitled Taiwanese horror film.

At a construction site a contractor feels pressured to cut corners in order to finish the apartment complex earlier than planned. During one of the inspections from the owner the construction crew finds a "nest" with thousands of snakes. They are ordered to kill them and move on as planned. The apartments open early and there are lots of new tenants who buy in. More snakes are found ans start to reck havoc. Sadly the owner of the complex is a real jerk with a rotten attitude. He misses all the warnings. The construction company hires a snake catcher to rid them of the problem but there are snakes of all different sizes lurking about. This guy knows how to rip apart these slithering repitles with his bare teeth and he has lightning fast kung fu reflexes. But it all takes its toll as he has meets his match (the ultimate massive python). Meanwhile thousands of slimy serpents invade the apartment complex to kill in dramatic fashion. An act of revenge. And who can blame the snakes after what happened to them. Can any of the humans be saved? There are a lot of brutal snake killings. Many close up shots of beheadings and severing bodies with lots of real guts and blood. There is also the skilnning of a live snake and ripping out its still beating heart as well as snake blood drinking. There are also animal on animal killings. All of these scenes are overlong and can offend some (ie Cannibal Holocaust's animal killings). A strong vintage 80's pulsating dark electronic soundtrack. There is awkward love making, countless snake bites and several WTF comedic moments that just make you laugh. But lets be honest. There is a fair amount of low budget cheese, bad acting and absurdness all over. If you hate snakes. This film is not for you!