Gladiator Cop

(27%) An unsurprisingly crap movie - but what a title. Apparently this uses footage from another movie and it really shows, for if were a set of teeth it would badly need braces. The cop in question is an X-men style mutant who can solve crimes by simply touching the victim's dead body, so why he isn't decorated as the best cop on the planet is a mystery as he visits morgues and wraps up a case within mere seconds. Plot-wise this is garbage, but the illegal fights to the death are actually quite good fun to watch as some of the guys taking part are huge and dressed in some ridiculous outfits wielding massive comedy weapons. Between the fights there's only the lovely Claire Stansfield and the always watchable James Hong to keep the wheels from falling off. My advice, skip to the fights or don't bother.

I don't think I've ever seen a Lorenzo Lamas movie, and judging from this effort I haven't missed much. Man, that guy loves his hair. He plays a cop with unexplained psychic powers who can envisage murder victims deaths by touching their corpses. It seems he's the reincarnation of Alexander the Great, whose mighty sword has been stolen by a dastardly museum proprietor. The dastardly museum proprietor is using it to help him win bets on illegal fights – as you do.

The story holds together about as well as a bubble in a hurricane – and has about as much substance. Apparently it's made up largely from the footage left over from an earlier Lamas movie so it's clear the makers weren't fired by a desire to make a lasting contribution to cinema's fine heritage. No sir, these guys were out to make a quick buck. Characters appear and disappear without explanation and do stupid things for no reason. One of them even sleeps with Lamas and his hair.

This film has more cheek than any I have seen. It seems to be made almost entirely from left over footage from The Swordsman. It is like watching outtake footage. The plot has been extended to include a new baddie, but the relationship between the two main characters bounces around in context all over the place, continuity is almost non-existent and you keep wondering where in time and space the activity is happening. I guess this is recycling taken to new levels. However watching The Swordsman and then Gladiator Cop is an interesting exercise in picking up what you have seen already, what really belongs in the first film and why you aren't doing something more productive.

I mean...who can think of this piece of crap as a serious movie? when you start watching a film with a name as absurd as GLADIATOR COP you know why you are doing it...for FUN, so grab your remote and FF to the fighting scenes...because the rest is CRAP.

GLADIATOR COP is in the category of good-bad (horrible) movies, with abysmal scrip, worst acting, useless editing and cheap special effects...but also you have some of the silliest sword fights I've ever seen...in which other movie you can see a fat ninja battling an east L.A. mobster? Or Lorenzo "snake eater" Lamas dressed as a Zorro fighting against a masked russian with a huge sword?

Funny crap.

If you're looking for an entertaining fighting movie, avoid this one at all costs. Do you want to see a movie that's so bad that it becomes an unintentional comedy? Then you also should avoid this one, because it's so utterly bad that it's not even funny. The movie's plot circles around illegal, underground street-arena fights where the fighters use many kinds of brutal weapons and kill each other. Sound familiar? This has been done many times, but never as bad as this. Most of the fighters are really unfit and shabby people, and there aren't much that reminds me of true martial arts skills. The story makes no sense, and is just full of plot holes. I just don't get why Lorenzo Lamas stars in this. He's not exactly the best action star around, but this was a disaster even by his standards.