Embrace of the Vampire

The story, if one is to be found, is about a young college girl about to experience life for the first time. Turns out that she just may be the reincarnated wife of a late Count who never could cope with her death. Seems he returned home from battle one fine day only to find his beloved wife had killed herself on the false rumors of his death. Well, same Count becomes a vampire through some convenient miracle (because it was needed to have a shred of a plot) and then begins to pursue and court her in modern day. The rest is her inner struggle (alright, that's a stretch) between life, ghostly erotic dreams, voices, seduction, school, being away from home, falling in love, and clove cigarettes.

This movie started out with a really good and captivating plot; Alyssa Milano naked, involved in multiple erotic lesbian scenes. The only problem is that the producers tried to fill in the empty spaces of the movie with... a movie. Why didn't Ms Milano just film a short segment for Playboy or Spice and just be done with it?

Alright, seriously though... if you're interested in partially naked women kissing other partially naked women then this movie is for you. If you are interested in any other form of entertainment then I would skip this movie. The initial lesbian scene with Ms Milano and Charlotte Lewis does actually

come off as a good first time, nervous lesbian encounter for a young college women. (Not to mention the scene first introduced me to clove cigarettes)

All in all this movie is a shame; Ms Milano has undoubtedly proved herself a more then so-so actress. (I loved her in The Canterville Ghost). As for others, Jennifer Tilly does actually act nicely in my opinion. This isn't saying much but I do always enjoy watching Ms Tilly enjoy herself enjoying others in movies.

Nuf said.

...I found this quite dull. First, there's barely a story - much of the movie is devoted to sex scenes that stop the story completely, and have no real significance in altering the "evolving" plot.

So if there's a lot of sex, there must be some merit, right? Actually, I found the sex and nude scenes flatly directed - despite the flesh and activity shown, surprisingly a lot of these scenes have nothing erotic to them.

We don't learn a lot about the characters. For instance, why does the vampire character only have a certain time to live? How did he get to where he is in the movie? How did he find the heroine? And so on. None of this is explained. And speaking of the characters, none aroused any sympathy - in fact, all of them seemed annoying.

And though the movie is supposed to be about vampires, there's hardly any vampire action!

Yes, You-Know-Who gets naked enough, but that's not enough to save this movie, or even make it worth fast-forwarding.

I place this film along side "Showgirls" as a truly indispensable guilty pleasure, this film is an absolute riot, you just can't keep a straight face. If you're looking for a plot, good acting, thrilling action sequences, characters that you can care about, a good script, or a memorable movie experience, then you're looking at the wrong movie. However, if you're looking for a soft-core porn movie starring Alyssa Milano's bare breasts, you're looking at the right movie.

Alyssa Milano gets naked. You see her nipples with amazing frequency. She lets guys touch her in dream sequences. She lets a female photographer touch her, remove most of her clothing, and then kiss her. But beware, Lesbian Sex Scene seekers - Alyssa does not go further than kissing. Yes, that's right - she loses her nerve and runs out of the room. Taking the time to get dressed again, unfortunately. So, if you're a fan of Alyssa Milano's breasts, then by all means rent this movie!

Overall rating: 6 out of 10.

Alyssa Milano's breasts give a terrific performance here. They play, they dance, they utter soliloquies, they defy gravity (actually not really), and they photograph well.

The dominant presence of Milano's breasts prevent the vampire story from taking root. But all is well, for we need nothing more than the incredible anticipation of seeing the breasts in another well lit shot.

Life is indeed complete because director Goursaud has committed Alyssa's ample amples to the screen in such worthy style. Salancha senorita Anne, and the sangria's on me....

Let's face it, this is one of the most famous B-movies ever because of a few nude scenes, not because of a terrific plot. Yes, Alyssa Milano looks great, but that doesn't mean that this was a good movie. Really, the film is watchable at best, and the writers clearly were more concerned with getting Alyssa naked than making an interesting story about vampires. I can't call it a disappointment, since I got what I expected, but it's nothing but a forgettable film that just happens to have some legendary soft-porn scenes.