Dinosaur Island

Just reading the credits alone for this film caught the eyes of the Eye Candy Hall of Fame academy. It is a joint product of the auteurs Wynorski and Olen Ray, known for their unique visual style, classy special effects, and strong women characters. It stars All-Century team beauty Michelle Bauer. It has dinosaurs on an island roaming free before they were confined to zoos. Upon watching the film, the real pleasure was the star-turning performances of Antonia Dorian and Griffin Drew. Ms. Drew is a very gifted actor and earned 2nd team All-Century status with her charm, which was especially evident during the healing scene. All three leading ladies and some minor characters help elevate this film beyond just a travelogue. We don't know how, but we would all enjoy seeing more of these lovely women.

A military plane carrying a hardnose officer bringing some deserters back for a court-martial crashes in the ocean. The survivors make their way to a deserted island, where they discover a tribe of semi-nude, large-breasted cavewomen and are menaced by a tyrannosaurus rex. That plot's been used in several movies from the '50s, but fortunately this movie has much more nudity than those films did. The women are gorgeous, most of them get naked, none of them can act (gee, what a surprise...), the special effects aren't as cheesey as one would expect from a Fred Olen Ray film. Altogether, I'd rate this 0 for acting, 0 for plot, 0 for a coherent script, 8 for gratuituous nudity. It's not a bad way to spend an hour or so on a Friday night with a six-pack. as long as you don't expect a whole lot. P.S.: If the T-Rex in this movie looks familiar, that's because it's the same one Corman used in his earlier movie, "Carnosaur."

With an old school fantasy artwork front cover I was drawn to Dinosaur Island even though I knew from experience this was likely to be not only a T&A film but also pretty darn bad.

Regarding the T&A there is plenty, yet somehow someway it is not only tasteful but mostly directly related to the plot.

Regarding the quality it's a mixed bag. The movie actually looks quite good, the location and costume design is solid but when the sfx come into the equation it all falls apart. I'm not saying the sfx are bad I'm saying they're awful. The dinosaurs are stop motion animation and looked at home back in the 60's so there is no excuse for a 1994 film.

Yes the film isn't supposed to be taken seriously and is essentially a comedy but those sfx are beyond bad.

Thankfully the script is okay and there are genuine laughs to be had, the whole movie reminded me of Cave Girl (1985) except Cave Girl didn't reach beyond its means and had far more of a charm.

For what it is Dinosaur Island isn't bad but as a whole it's not something I could ever confidently recommend to anyone.

The Good:

Some decent efforts at humour

Tasteful well done T&A scenes

The Bad:

SFX that were on point in the 60's

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Trained military with automatic weapons will have no effect on a raging t-rex but a bunch of scantily clad girls with sticks will scare it off

Boobs squeezing is the no.1 fighting technique for amazons

The infamous beast of the cave is the offspring of a xenomorph and a muppet

As a collector and fan of B-movies, I'd have to put this one high on my most-valued list. It's literally overflowing with genre talent, most notably as a collaboration between two of the finest modern B-movie directors: Jim Wynorski and Fred Olen Ray. Also, it's got a killer cast, featuring Michelle Bauer (HOLLYWOOD CHAINSAW HOOKERS), Griffin Drew (BIKINI HOE DOWN), Richard Gabai (VIRGIN HIGH), Nikki Fritz (ATTACK OF THE 60-FOOT CENTERFOLD), and Antonia Dorian (BARE WENCH PROJECT). Sure, the jokes are cheesy. Sure, that "dinosaur" effect isn't quite Stan Winston quality. However, there's some things Hollywood can never duplicate, and that's the feel of a good B-movie with lots of scream queens. Here's hoping they never stop making movies like this.

My friends must tire of hearing me say, "I watch the bad movies so you don't have to." I average about 600 movies a year (really)...and most of them are bad. DI wouldn't even make it into the bottom 100 movies I've seen, in spite of what some reviewers have stated. It is obviously self-mocking and completely tongue-in-cheek, intended as a bit of soft-core disposable fluff. There are absolutely no pretensions.

As far as the FX, I've seen much worse in many recent independent (and major studio) releases. Plus, the editing is coherent (even if the continuity is deliberately uneven) and you can actually hear the dialogue.

As far as the plot, it actually has one, even if it's as silly as a Carol Burnett sketch. (BTW, the "healing boobs" scene is pretty sly.) Anyway, there's a lot more pretentious junk than this to watch, so give it a try some evening when you've had a few drinks and you need something disposable.