The Crew

4 friends on a boat ride. Another boat burns up. The 4 friends pick up the 2 passengers on the burned up boat. Sounds cool? Well, the things is that the 2 (man and girl or?) The man has breast!, and decides to kidnap the 4 friends so they´d drive him to where he wants. He also talks on the phone sometimes with his boyfriend, they argue and stuff. Very strange and weird. Grade: 3/10

This is a strange, out of the everyday but refreshing look at what happens when people who would definitely clash if they are forcibly brought together are brought together. Phillip (Viggo Mortensen, in a vicious, completely believable performance!!!) owns a beautiful white yacht, and is obviously extremely pleased with himself. How he got the means to get this pretty white boat is made obvious quite early on in the movie. The story begins when he invites sister Jennifer (Pamela Gidley), her husband Bill (Donal Logue), musician buddy Alex (John Philbin) and new "friend" Catherine Driftwood (Sam Jenkins) to join him on a cruise of the Carribean. The story starts a little slowly, but you do pick up on the notion that every one of these people has some little demon in his/her closet as they chatter and argue about marital vows, writers' block, barracuda and the AIDS virus. The story livens up when Bill spots a burning boat on the horizon, with what appears to be "a couple of chicks" in peril on board. Phillip isn't too keen on the idea of picking up total strangers from burning boats, especially if all they're gonna do is mess up his pretty white boat in some way, but Jen, Bill, Catherine and Alex insists it's the right thing to do, and Phil relents. Enter Camilla (Laura Del Sol) an illegal Cuban immigrant and Timothy (Jeremy Sisto) who is not exactly what Phillip would call a "chick" even though he's got breasts and is very womanly in every aspect of his personality. Tim and Phillip clash almost from the first moment, and Phillip gets an unpleasant surprise that might put his future with his pretty white boat in jeopardy. This movie is hard to find, but some videostores may have it. It's a good movie if you are into independent movies with provocative and original subject matter, and the characters are all interesting, even though Mortensen, Logue and Sisto steal the show in a three way tug-of-war for control of the crazy situation.

Well...OK..there is a decent stereo score too but the plot, if you can call it that is beyond ridiculous. Characters are totally unsympathetic to the extent that they are defined at all and no one in the movie is at all likeable. Everyone deserved the situation they found themselves in as far as I was concerned.

There is some great nautical photography and scenery in the tropics however. All of the action takes place on boats, in the ocean or on beaches.

The ONLY upside is that it was a free on demand cable movie. And ... in that regard it's "worth the price of admission". LOL. Seriously, not at all.

It's hard to gauge what exactly was worst:

• the plot (if one can say that it HAD one at all)

• the acting (gosh-aweful at best), especially that of Bill (Donal Logue)

As my girlfriend just summarized - this is officially "time that I am not getting back".

This is easily one of the worst movies ever. Please save yourself the wasted time. We were about halfway through when it became pretty apparent that this was "just one really bad movie" and looked for reviews.

I thought this could turn out to be an interesting film when I first heard the plot. As often though, it turned out to be really boring - a boring story delivered by boring actors. Don´t waste your time on this one.