- King Koopa: Give me that Devo-Gun!
- [Koopa tries to shoot Mario, but instead hits Scapelli, who is transformed into a chimpanzee. Koopa points at him and laughs]
- King Koopa: Monkey!
- [first lines]
- Narrator: A long long time ago, the Earth was ruled by dinosaurs. They were big, so not a lot of people went around hassling 'em. Actually, no people went around hassling 'em cuz there weren't any people yet. Just the first tiny mammals. Basically, life was good. Then something happened: a giant meteorite struck the Earth. Goodbye dinosaurs! But what if the dinosaurs weren't all destroyed? What if the impact of that meteor created a parallel dimension where the dinosaurs continued to thrive and evolve into intelligent, vicious, and aggressive beings... just like us? And hey, what if they found a way back?
- [Lena has become fossilized into a wall]
- Luigi: Wow, she sure makes an impression.
- [In the police car, a wanted poster of Luigi and Mario flashes on a TV screen naming them Alien Plumbers]
- Luigi Mario: Aliens? We gotta deal with aliens too?
- Mario Mario: Luigi, *we're* the aliens.
- Luigi Mario: We are? Wow, cool.
- Mario Mario: Excuse me, do you know where we are?
- Pedestrian: Yeah, you're in my way.
- [Mario and Luigi survey Dinohattan]
- Mario Mario: This can't be Manhattan.
- Luigi Mario: I don't know, I haven't been to Manhattan in a couple weeks.
- Mario Mario: Must have been a bad couple of weeks.
- Luigi Mario: Nothing's impossible, you just gotta believe.
- Spike: [has had his brain evolved to higher intelligence] Ignatius, do you know what the square root of 36,481 is?
- Iggy: What are you talking about?
- Spike: 191!
- Mario: Everybody's got tap water! 3 bucks!
- Mario: What single-celled organism did *you* evolve from?
- King Koopa: [indicates an evolution chart of a dinosaur becoming a man] Tyrannosaurus Rex, the lizard king, thank you very much.
- [the Marios try to escape in a police car]
- Mario: Where's the starter on this thing?
- Luigi: I got a feeling about this, Marioroni...
- [figures out the strange controls to start the car]
- Mario: How do you know how to do that?
- Luigi: Cuz I been sitting on my butt all day playing video games, that's what.
- Daniella: [extra-quietly] Okay, don't say anything, but my boyfriend, Mario, is right up there.
- Angelica: [looks up and sees Mario] What?
- Mario: SHH!
- Angelica: HEY! MARIO! He'll get us outta here!
- Luigi: It is an honor to meet you sir, and a pleasure, and I just wanna thank you for all your help.
- Mario: Come on, Luigi. You'll be talking to the mildew in the shower next.
- Mario: Turn left here.
- [Luigi turns right]
- Mario: LEFT. I SAID LEFT.
- Spike: [sniffing a hot dog]
- [to Iggy]
- Spike: They say it's "dog".
- Luigi: [after learning that Daisy was abandoned as an infant] You mean you don't know who your mother and father neither?
- Princess Daisy: No. What do you mean, "neither"?
- Luigi: Cuz, you see, Mario here brought me up. He's been like my mother my whole life.
- Mario: Hey!
- Luigi: [laughing] Ok, ok, my father, all right? And my uncle, cousin, and everybody.
- King Koopa: [bathing in mud] Do you know what I love about mud? It's clean and it's dirty at the same time.
- Sergeant Simon: No one touches President Koopa.
- Luigi: [rubbing his eyes in pain] You're Koopa? Well, you just said you were...
- King Koopa: One evil, egg sucking son of a snake. Did I lie?
- Luigi: Wow, you mean there were dinosaurs here in Brooklyn?
- Mario: Relax, Luigi. There used to be Dodgers here too.
- Luigi: Remember, trust the fungus.
- Toad: Say, what's another word that rhymes with dimension?
- Mario: Yeah, tension, and I'm full of it so shut up.
- Spike: We were wrong again. How many times have we got this wrong?
- Iggy: *You've* gotten it wrong five times.
- Spike: Home for five. Home for five. What percent is that?
- Iggy: I dunno. Let me think.
- [pause]
- Iggy: I dunno. But it's not good.
- Spike: If we get it wrong one more time, he's gonna kill us.
- Iggy: He's not gonna kill us. He's not that nice.
- King Koopa: Don't fight it. You know you've always been uncomfortable in the human world, and you at least suspected that you were...
- [tongue flicks in and out like a snake's]
- King Koopa: ?different.
- Princess Daisy: I suspected a lot of things, but not that I...
- King Koopa: That you were descended from the dinosaurs? And you know what they say about little girls, don't you? Hm? They say they never forget the first time they're kissed by a lizard.
- [face starts to look more reptilian]
- Mario: How we gonna get in there? I got two words for you: Im-possible.
- Luigi: Nothing's impossible, Mario. Improbable, Unlikely, but never impossible.
- Mario: I hope you're right.
- Mario: [drives towards a fork] Which way?
- Luigi: Take the parkway!
- Mario: Right!
- [drives into a tunnel instead]
- Luigi: [smiles] Perfect, perfect.
- Mario: You said the parkway!
- Luigi: I know, but I wanted the tunnel, so I said parkway cuz I knew you'd go the opposite way I suggested! Ha!
- Cop: [sees the Marios' tool belts] Aha! Plumbers!
- Luigi: No, he is! I'm just apprenticing!
- Cop: Get in the car!
- Luigi: But I didn't do nothin'!
- Cop: Get in the car now!
- Mario: Are you tellin' us that you can arrest a guy for being a plumber? Get outta here!
- Cop: Get in there, plumber! Now!
- Cop: [shoves the Marios and Toad into the squad car]
- Mario: Hey! What is this?
- Luigi: All right. What'd we do?
- Mario: I'm gettin' arrested for bein' a plumber!
- Luigi: Write his number down!
- [Iggy and Spike have become more intelligent]
- King Koopa: Both of you, go to the desert!
- Iggy: Excuse me, excuse me. That hardly seems logical, does it? Perhaps we should stay here and formulate our own strategy. Tete-tete, inner circle, that sort of thing.
- King Koopa: Here's what's logical to me: If you do not return with the plumbers and the rock... I shall personally... kill you.
- Iggy: ...We're going.
- Luigi: [driving] I've heard sea turtles travel thousands of miles on their own.
- Mario: Not in New York traffic, they don't.
- Luigi: Hey, Mario! Right now on "Miraculous World", this guy just found out he was in another dimension.
- Mario: The only thing miraculous *I* know is that we're still eating while we're going broke.
- Luigi: We aint going broke, Mario, we're already there!
- Luigi: [trying to make conversation with Daisy after first meeting her] A-are you ok?
- Princess Daisy: I got a few problems...
- Luigi: Well, you know, we got a van.
- Princess Daisy: [a little confused] It's... nice.
- Luigi: No no, I'm asking you if you want a ride. Oh, but, uh... it's broken, though.
- Princess Daisy: ...well...
- [turns to leave]
- Luigi: Your name's Daisy, isn't it? I-I overheard your name's Daisy. I've never heard that name around here. It's really nice, too. N-no, I *have* heard it cuz it's, like, the flower and everything... n-not that I hang around the flower shops or anything like that.
- Scapelli: Who's in charge of this hole?
- Princess Daisy: I'm in charge here.
- Scapelli: I'm Anthony Scapelli. I'm the boss elsewhere. My boys have to get back to work here. How long are you gonna be digging up these... bones?
- Princess Daisy: As long as our court order lasts, Mr. Scapelli. The university has explained to you how important this site is. And we'd get done a lot sooner if your goons would stop harassing us.
- Scapelli: You look like a smart girl. I'll bet you'll be done by tonight. You know, a lot of girls have gone missing in Brooklyn lately... I'd be careful.
- [the Marios see that their job is taken already]
- Mario: Scapelli. They beat us to it again! Another lost job!
- [after the ending credits]
- Japanese Salesman 1: Well, I must say, we have a very generous proposal.
- Japanese Salesman 2: A video game based on your many adventures.
- Japanese Salesman 1: What would you call it?
- [We now see that they are addressing, not Mario and Luigi, but Iggy and Spike]
- Iggy: "Iggy's World".
- Spike: [shakes head] "The Indomitable Spike".
- Iggy: "The Super Koopa Cousins"!
- Spike: "The Super Koopa Cousins"!
- [Mario and Luigi are chasing after Spike and Iggy as they drag Daisy through the entrance to Dinohatten]
- Luigi: I'm gonna kill 'em!
- Mario: No, you're not gonna kill 'em, not if I get there first. I'm gonna break every bone in their body, and *then* I'm gonna kill 'em. I'm *really* gonna kill 'em!
- Toad: Koopa, you're a lousy leader!
- Luigi: Wow, they were dinosaurs in Brooklyn?
- Mario: Relax, Luigi, there used to be Dodgers, here, too.
- Daisy: [after first date] If you just want to end this right now, I would understand.
- Luigi: You know, I was going to ask you the same thing, if you want to end this right now, and you feel bad about that, but you want to talk to somebody about it, you can call me.
- Mario: Great, a building with athlete's foot.
- King Koopa: Now... where's the rock?
- [Iggy and Spike look at each other, then at Koopa]
- Iggy, Spike: Rock, sir?
- King Koopa: The meteorite piece that she wears around her neck, and I told you not to forget it!
- Spike: That rock!
- Iggy: I told you not to forget it!
- King Koopa: And I told you to remind him! Without that rock, the meteorite lays dormant! I'll not be able to merge the dimensions! Where is it?
- Iggy, Spike: The plumbers took it.
- King Koopa: [whispers] Plumbers?
- [to Lena]
- King Koopa: Plumber alert!
- King Koopa: You may think of evolution as... an upward process. Things evolve from primeval slime, up to single-celled organisms, up to... intelligent life. De-evolution, of course, works the opposite way. Back to... simpler forms. For instance, even our musical friend Toad... can become... a loyal child of the royal family: Goombas!
- [snickers]
- Mario: [trying to get a dance with Big Bertha] Hey, the name's Mario. I'm your main man, your ram-a-dame, your can of spam...
- Bertha: [punches him and laughs]
- Mario: [second try] Excuse me. Will you hit me again? I've never seen such fluidity. The way your knuckles crunched as you smashed 'em into my face.
- Bertha: [grabs him by the jacket] Dance with me. I'll hit you all you like.
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