Troll 3: Contamination

The movie that end all bad movies - I could do better with a videocamera and no script. . I've seen a couple of bad films in my life, but I never have seen a movie as bad as this one before. This movie is a HUGE mistake, After I watched The Crawlers, I got sick for the entire week in bed because of it. But you have to rent this movie, trust me folks...the worst effects, and down right horrible acting...but that's what's good about it! I couldnt stop laughing for days. All in all, the best worst movie of all time. Rent and watch it with friends for good laughs.

The movie is bad on its own, regardless of it being passed off as a sequel to other bad Troll movies. It has an odd feel because though it looks to be actually shot in pretty good United States Locations it is directed by an Italian or Italians and so the way English is spoken sounds foreign and the actors are, sorry to say, really bad. Unlike many of these Italian productions they didn't spend or didn't have money to drag any American name actors into the movie leaving us with what seems like a totally amateur cast.

This can be seen now under its original title and in HD on cable and that may be a hate crime against those who watch it but at least it's not pretended to be something it's not.

The "monster" in the movie is a bunch of not very convincing tree roots that actor struggle to pretend to fight with--usually to pretty unconvincing results. It tries a sort of Psycho plot set up which has a lousy and bloodless pay off. The gal in this segment is sort of appealing and very attractive in somewhat skimpy clothing--but don't expect any nudity from her. Most of the deaths are bloodless=cheaply done. Also the movie has no nudity and no style and not much sense.

There is some decent helicopter footage of actual wilderness and towards the end some nice bulldozers at night "attacking" the monster roots--though this sequence also features a funny Tonka Toy miniature that ruins that scene. Also the movie features a toy helicopter explosion.

A poorly made film that is barely pro level production, the acting and casting is really bad and so there is nothing to keep you going between badly done very stiff tentacle tree root attack scenes that come pretty few and far between.

I kind of enjoyed the freeze frame ending. Easily one of the most poorly made films of its era. Has some high=low lights but is for the most part a slow ride of filler material of family drama etc.

Music score is cheesy and dated and would have sounded just as cheesy and dated when the movie was new. There is one memorable scene between angry town people and evil corporate exec that almost makes this a must see for bad movie fans. The only person who should not feel bad about being involved in this movie is whoever was the location scout.

Kidding.

Okay, you're right, this is THE single worst movie of all time. But there are some GREAT lines: Hit-man one to hit-man two: "Shut up. And drive." Well, one great line. And that was pretty much the highlight of the movie.

The poor guy who played the helicopter pilot is a friend of mine, so once a year a bunch of us get together for a Crawlers party, to make fun of, and abuse, our friend. "I've lived among the trees all my life and I've never seen anything like it." As far as I can tell, the only reason to watch this movie is because you know someone who acted, and I use the term loosely, in it.

Dear God, what were they thinking when they made this thing? I'm glad they did, but...Lord-love-a-duck this thing stinks!

I saw the US version called Contamination .7 and .7 is all the stars it deserves. Unless you can give it a negative rating. This film is proof that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. It is full of good intentions that go hellishly off point.

It disappoints in every way you can imagine, and in some ways that are actually novel. I especially liked the undramatic chase scenes with recycled shots to milk the drama that didn't happen.

The only way the acting could be worse would be if the actors were holding the scripts in hand in the scenes.

If you are really bored... or really like the pain of watching awful films, then this is your movie.

I don't know what to make of the title "Contamination .7" or "Troll 3." I saw this on video as "The Crawlers." There is nuclear contamination in the movie, but the figure ".7" and what it might mean was not mentioned (that I caught), and there are no trolls in the movie, but I haven't seen Troll or Troll 2, so I can't comment on what it might have in common with them.

The best thing about this was the cover of the video box. It has a pretty good illustration. Actually, the DeSoto was pretty nice too.

The movie starts dividing our attention between two young women on a bus. One gets stranded at a small gas station, while the other is returning to her small town home after having left it and her fiancé when she was in high school. For some time we keep cutting between the two of them, which is awkward.

Most of the acting was pretty poor, unfortunately. The Sheriff and his deputy, the nuclear plant's executives, goons, and whistleblower were are particularly bad. The threat in the movie is roots which have been contaminated by radioactive waste. They're now extremely long and carnivorous. What isn't clear is if they are just roots crawling around like worms, unconnected to anything, or if they are the roots of some tree or trees that are likewise mutated. We never see.

At one point, the townspeople show up to fight the roots. How that came to happen is not explained. Inexplicably, their solution is to find the barrels of nuclear waste that had been dumped in the forest and dig them up and put them in their trucks. They start to do this without any protective suits! Another solution is to bury the barrels under even more dirt, which doesn't make much sense either. Why the roots would stop attacking, or why they would die, when the barrels are carted away or further buried is entirely unclear.

The ending is particularly bad. It involves two horror clichés: the end that is not an end, and the freeze-frame.