Troll 3: Contamination

Let's face it, the only reason anybody knows about this movie is that it was st one point known as "Troll III" in an attempt to cash in on the infamous "Troll II". Problem was like Troll II it had nothing to do with the original movie or had anything to do with trolls, goblins or a town called Nilbog.

No instead here we're dealing with radioactive trees that were created using toxic waste. And yes, that is as stupid as it sounds. It's not even an enjoyably bad movie. It's dull, boring and totally not worth your time. I actually got this on one of those multiple DVD sets where they put 4 movies onto the same disc, or two discs in this case, and because you want to see one of them you wind up seeing all four just to see how bad they are. And trust me. They're bad.

So yeah there is no reason to see this movie even out of morbid fascination. It's just not worth it.

I don't know what to make of the title "Contamination .7" or "Troll 3." I saw this on video as "The Crawlers." There is nuclear contamination in the movie, but the figure ".7" and what it might mean was not mentioned (that I caught), and there are no trolls in the movie, but I haven't seen Troll or Troll 2, so I can't comment on what it might have in common with them.

The best thing about this was the cover of the video box. It has a pretty good illustration. Actually, the DeSoto was pretty nice too.

The movie starts dividing our attention between two young women on a bus. One gets stranded at a small gas station, while the other is returning to her small town home after having left it and her fiancé when she was in high school. For some time we keep cutting between the two of them, which is awkward.

Most of the acting was pretty poor, unfortunately. The Sheriff and his deputy, the nuclear plant's executives, goons, and whistleblower were are particularly bad. The threat in the movie is roots which have been contaminated by radioactive waste. They're now extremely long and carnivorous. What isn't clear is if they are just roots crawling around like worms, unconnected to anything, or if they are the roots of some tree or trees that are likewise mutated. We never see.

At one point, the townspeople show up to fight the roots. How that came to happen is not explained. Inexplicably, their solution is to find the barrels of nuclear waste that had been dumped in the forest and dig them up and put them in their trucks. They start to do this without any protective suits! Another solution is to bury the barrels under even more dirt, which doesn't make much sense either. Why the roots would stop attacking, or why they would die, when the barrels are carted away or further buried is entirely unclear.

The ending is particularly bad. It involves two horror clichés: the end that is not an end, and the freeze-frame.

So this is the infamous Troll 3. Would you look at that? Nothing's happening! No trolls anywhere to be seen here! That's only one reason why this film SUCKS!

It's not one you can watch alone because part of the fun would come from joking about it with someone else. Watching by yourself is just torture! TOR-CHAR!

Maybe this movie should have been called "The Living Dead who Refuse to Rot" because the majority of the "actors" talk like zombies! Like the Sheriff character. Oh my goodness! Here's probably one of the worst actors to ever be in a non-porn movie. And I thought the mother in Troll 2 was bad! But he's not the only one! The boss in the power plant and just about everyone here is terrible!

Worst line delivery: "Ok, doctor we'll just evacuate the entire country before you can say Jack Robinson". Actually anything said by the sheriff makes you want to kill him. He's amazing in the sense that every single line he says sounds exactly the same!

There are no little creatures here, no trolls, no goblins, no nothing. Whoever renamed this movie to "The Crawlers" and removed the "Troll 3" name shows me there is hope for the world after all. Because this movie HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH TROLLS!

They must've saved a lot of money by using killer roots instead of creatures.

Who finances this kind of c**p and why? I can only think that the targeted audience is that of non-english speaking countries where the people are used to dubbing.

I bought this (for $3.75) expecting at least the fun I had with Troll 2 because in spite of that movie's long list of shortcomings it had some very funny elements. None of those elements are present in Troll 3. There is however a hysterical scene where the killer roots kill a man in a suit who's chasing the "hero" with a gun. The guy takes forever and a day to die and he screams pathetically through it all.

Troll 2 had a little boy and a monster on the video cover, neither of which were in the movie. Troll 3 has a sexy girl on the "Crawlers" cover who, you've guessed it, is nowhere to be seen in the movie.

Troll 3 just plain sucks.

The movie that end all bad movies - I could do better with a videocamera and no script. . I've seen a couple of bad films in my life, but I never have seen a movie as bad as this one before. This movie is a HUGE mistake, After I watched The Crawlers, I got sick for the entire week in bed because of it. But you have to rent this movie, trust me folks...the worst effects, and down right horrible acting...but that's what's good about it! I couldnt stop laughing for days. All in all, the best worst movie of all time. Rent and watch it with friends for good laughs.

I saw the US version called Contamination .7 and .7 is all the stars it deserves. Unless you can give it a negative rating. This film is proof that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. It is full of good intentions that go hellishly off point.

It disappoints in every way you can imagine, and in some ways that are actually novel. I especially liked the undramatic chase scenes with recycled shots to milk the drama that didn't happen.

The only way the acting could be worse would be if the actors were holding the scripts in hand in the scenes.

If you are really bored... or really like the pain of watching awful films, then this is your movie.