- Mitchell Goosen: Popeye, now there was a great man. Do you know why?
- Wiley: He never joined the Hairclub For Men?
- [buzzer sound]
- Mitchell Goosen: Wrong. Because his motto was: I am what I am. Do you think Popeye ever worried about what he wore just so he could get Olive Oil in the sack? I should say not, Dude. And do you know why?
- Wiley: He was gay?
- Mitchell Goosen: Because he is what he is.
- Nikki: So, if you could have lunch with any three people in the entire world - alive, dead, fictitious, I don't care. Who would it be?
- Mitchell Goosen: What kind of question is that?
- Nikki: A fun one, c'mon.
- Mitchell Goosen: Well, I'd have to say Tom Curren; greatest surfer in the world, now that would be cool. And, um, maybe Gandhi. Not for lunch though. He wouldn't eat lunch.
- Nikki: And the third one?
- Mitchell Goosen: I'd have to say you.
- Nikki: Me? You can have lunch with anyone in the world, and you would choose me.
- Mitchell Goosen: You're not just anyone. You're special.
- Mitchell Goosen: Mitchell Goosen at your service. I'm not from around here. What to tell. Don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Don't care. Just as long as I live near the beach and don't have to wear a tie. Then I'll be stylin'.
- Augie: Stylin'? St-stylin'?
- Mitchell Goosen: Let me tell you what stylin' is. The perfect session: A-Frame wave, ground swell, spittin' out salt water in your face, doing a little lip action move, a 360 without a bounce. I call it a Liquid Drano Wannabe Bullwinkle. I tell you no lie, my friends. It's a consciousness raiser.
- Snake: My name's Snake. I don't like speech. I never even signed up for it. And I ain't got no hobbies, 'less you call collecting knives and putting tattoos across the foreheads of guys I don't like..."hobbies." And I have a 1.1 GPA...
- Augie: I think that pretty boy Maharishi over here has been mixing a little Drain-o with his fruit punch!