- Mahi Mahi: Hey, Jack - no make insult for the chief, OK? This man get plenty influence in this place, you know?
- Jack Singer: Influence? He lives in a shack!
- Mahi Mahi: He's a man of great simplicity.
- Jack Singer: I had a straight flush! Do you know what a straight flush is? It's like... unbeatable.
- Betsy: "Like unbeatable" is not unbeatable!
- Jack Singer: Hey! I know that now, OK?
- Jack Singer: I dreamt about my mother again last night.
- Betsy: Was she vacuuming naked?
- Jack Singer: No. She opened her eyes, and I said, "Mom, I'm gonna marry that girl" - and she smiled.
- Betsy: Really?
- Jack Singer: Yeah. Of course, she *was* naked.
- Jack Singer: We jump out at what altitude?
- Roy Bacon: 3,000 feet.
- Jack Singer: And these chutes are - they're foolproof, right?
- Roy Bacon: Well, as the King his own self said, there ain't nothin' in this whole wide world foolproof exceptin' a Coupe de Ville, and hookers!
- [Trying to remember how to open his parachute]
- Jack Singer: Yellow then red. Yellow then red. Yellow then red. Yellow then red. Yellow then red. Yellow then red. Yellow then red. Yellow then red. Yellow then red.
- Mahi Mahi: My name Mahi. Mahi Mahi.
- Jack Singer: Like the fish?
- Mahi Mahi: Yeah. My father was a fisherman.
- Jack Singer: My father left home when I was 5. That's why I'm named Jack - as in, "Jack, tell your mother I'm just goin' out to get the paper."
- Jack Singer: [getting in elevator] Betsy! Hi. Hi - hi; so, what's the story?
- Betsy: I have to pack.
- Jack Singer: We can leave! What did you work out?
- Betsy: [as elevator doors close] Um... he's taking me to Hawaii.
- Betsy: [back in their room] It's only for a few days!
- Jack Singer: Come on. You're so, like, blithe about this, all of a sudden - like you don't give a damn!
- Betsy: Of course I give a damn! But this was not my idea - OK, Jack? Poker was not my idea.
- Jack Singer: Would you please stop crucifying me with this?
- Betsy: Where's my bag?
- Jack Singer: He's gonna jump all over you the second he gets there.
- Betsy: Oh, I'm gonna let him? Please, Jack - give me a little credit.
- Jack Singer: He'll overcome you! I mean, what happens if you start screaming? It's like a jungle over there! He probably has servants, and bodyguards - and believe me, they will drug you!
- Betsy: His son is gonna be there, Jack! His granddaughter Tiffany will be there.
- Jack Singer: She knows the kid's name already.
- [later]
- Jack Singer: Listen... you'll be back Monday?
- Betsy: I don't know. Probably Tuesday, or Wednesday.
- Jack Singer: Tuesday or Wednesday? That's almost a week!
- Betsy: What, you expect us to fly back and forth to Hawaii in two days?
- Jack Singer: "Us"? Already it's us.
- Betsy: Oh, don't be infantile. I'm trying to make the best of this!
- Jack Singer: [trying to remember how his parachute works] Let me get this straight - I pull this?
- Roy Bacon: No, boy. You pull the yeller one first - that bein' your main chute. Then, if that chute don't open, what you do then is you reach over here and pull the red one. That there bein' your auxiliary chute.
- Jack Singer: Yellow, then red? Yellow, then red?
- Roy Bacon: You got it.
- Jack Singer: OK. OK. Now, uh... if, by any chance, I get, like, flustered - you know, when I'm hurtling through space, and - and - and I pull the red one first?
- Roy Bacon: Oh - well then, you're gonna wind up lookin' like a well-done chili burger. They're gonna have to shovel you into a coffin!
- Jack Singer: People get married, and then they do the most hideous, unbelievable things to each other.
- Chief Orman: Do you find Chief Orman attractive?
- Jack Singer: ...Uh, you're a striking-looking figure. If by "attractive"...