Terreur vaudou

Grab some popcorn, drink a full sixpack, grab some friends that have a long pain threshold, and sit through this one without throwing popcorn everywhere - I dare you.

This movie was written by someone who shouldn't have gotten out of bed that morning. The dialogue rivals the worst porn movies. Acting? Schmacting.

Of course, a man who has weapons hidden throughout his body is an interesting premise, interesting in the way that makes you want to chew on the sofa arm and dribble mindlessly.

I only recommend watching this movie for one reason - see it for the scene in the public lavatory where, in the middle of doing what boys do in public lavatories, Waldo Warren turns around (suspecting quite rightly that someone is hiding in one of the cubicles and is planning to kill him) and transforms his manhood into a high calibre fully automatic machine gun, waving his wang left and right and riddling the whole place with bullets. He zips himself up, walks out.

After that, if you have more time to waste on this movie - you have serious issues. Turn off the TV and go outside. Drink more beer. Anything. Just run, Forrest, run.

My review was written in October 1989 after watching the movie on Unicorn video cassette.

Originally titled "Maximum Thrust", this minor voodoo pic is another leftover title from Empire Pictures' 1987 production slate. It's being released direct to video.

Rick Gianasi plays Waldo Warren, a private eye hired by reps of the island of San Caribe to protect their president (Anibal Llleras) during a New York visit. The prexy's lovely daughter (Jennifer Kanter) supports revolutionaries out to assassinate her dad.

Filmmaker Tim Kincaid mixes two extremes of campy acting here for a novel though somewhat cryptic effect. Most of the cast performs in monotone, robotic fashion (fitting the subject matter that involves macumba trances and even cyborgs) while other thesps overact outrageously.

There's one good plot twist involving two assassination attempts, but pic's resolution is unconvincing. Tech credits are pro but quite modest.

Mainly appalling nonsense about an island where the Occult is causing numerous gruesome deaths and furore. Director Tim Kincaid made four movies for Full Moon, the others being 'Breeders'; 'Robot Holocaust' and 'Mutant Hunt' - all seem to be fairly independent films relying on Full Moon primarily for funding/releasing. 'The Occultist' features many of the cast and crew of Kincaid's earlier 'Bad Girls' Dormitory' and despite showcasing some good effects (courtesy of Ed French) and disjointed but fairly cool music from Guy Moon (Including excerpts from his 'Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama' and 'Creepozoids') and then regular Full Moon composer Carl Dante (bits of his 'Cellar Dweller' score are used here too). Kincaid came from Gay porn to make a few sci-fi movies took a ten year break and then became a full time gay porn director for company Titan (a mere coincidence and nothing to do with Charles Band's Titan Productions company who made this film). Though only 80 minutes the film never seems to end, the acting is terrible, the script with many feeble jokes tiresome and the entire film a cocktail of many scenes which barely relate to any reasonable story.

I only own this film because I am a die hard fan of Charles Band and, according to many sources, he was an uncredited executive producer here as well as in three other movies directed by Tim Kincaid. Apparently Band didn't exactly produce those movies, but mostly provided some post-production services and distribution.

The film is terrible. The title has no sense. Who was the occultist after all? A more appropiate title would be "The Bodyguard Cyborg". Nothing can be saved here. The story is ridiculous, the actings are atrocious at the level of a porn movie (that makes sense, 'cause the director was specialized in XXX gay flicks).

I don't understand why Band was interested in financing/distributing Kincaid's stuff. I have also seen "Breeders" and "Robot Holocaust" and they suffer from similar problems. "The Occultist" is the worst of them, 'cause it is all filled with scenes of mediocre dialogues, with little action or horror scenes. The only Kincaid/Band movie I didn't see yet was "Mutant Hunt", starred by Rick Gianasi, who plays the lead here too.

If you are a fan of extremely bad Z movies, you really need to check this.