- Stooge: Eat a bowl of fuck! I am here to PARTY!
- Suzanne: Do you guys have sour balls?
- Convenience Store Clerk: Why sure we do.
- Suzanne: Too bad. I bet you don't get many blow jobs.
- Rodger: I don't care what you all think, my daddy was a preacher, and I know better than to be in here fooling with this stuff. This is a house of the dead, and I"m getting out now before it's too late.
- Billy: Wow, bodacious boobies, sis. You keep on going, you'll have to hire someone just to tie your shoes!
- Angela: Oh don't tell me you're leaving? Sal wanted to go... but he decided to stick around!
- [shot of Sal with a wooden stake through his heart]
- Angela: [possesed] Open the door, Rog. We don't want you, we want the bitch! You know we'd never hurt a nice little boy like you.
- Rodger: Go to hell, you dirty bastard!
- Angela: [possesed] Oh, not tonight my boy, not tonight. Rest assured we got something wonderful planned for you, so much pain, so much *sorrow*!
- Judy Cassidy: [Jay's body is possessed by a demon now and his eyes gouged out] Oh Jay no!
- Jay Jansen: [Possessed] Why has thou forsaken me?
- Angela: [Possessed] What's the matter Judy? Don't you like your blind date?
- Stooge: [pounding on the bathroom door] Damn it bitch, c'mon! What'd you do, flush yourself down the fucking toilet or what?
- Suzanne: [Helen turns on a flash strobe] Far fucking out!
- Helen: I found it in my mother's closet, she used to be an acid head.
- Angela: Would you listen to me? These are NOT ghosts. This house is NOT haunted, it's possessed!
- Stooge: Ha! Possessed! Man! Come on it! Who gives a shit?
- Judy Cassidy: What's the difference in possessed and haunted?
- Angela: A haunted house is a house with ghosts in it, the spirits of people who've died, but the spirits living in a house possessed never existed in human form. They've only existed in spirit form. They're pure evil. They're demons!
- Frannie: Oh Max, I don't bend that way.
- Angela: [shouts] Come on! Your face looks fine. I have never seen anyone spend so much time in a mirror!
- Suzanne: Relax! I just wanna look good for the boys. You did remember to invite some cute boys to the party I hope.
- Angela: Of course I did, and we're gonna scare the shit out of them.
- Jay Jansen: You must be Judy's little brother, huh? You're really lucky, she's a real nice girl.
- Billy: Yeah, are you dating her for her personality? Beause she has big cha-chas.
- Stooge: Ang, you can't really believe this place is posessed.
- Sal: Nah, just reposessed!
- Frannie: [entering Hull House, sickened by a rancid odor] Whew! Somebody fired the maid!
- Max: Yeah, somebody did. The Hull family maid was killed along with the rest of them. Someone managed to roast her.
- Jay Jansen: Great, barbecued maid. No wonder she didn't keep the place clean.
- Suzanne: Run Judy, run! See Judy run!
- Angela: Blessed be the sinners, for the day of atonement is at hand.
- Sal: Say what?
- Angela: [everybody's sitting in front of a mirror for a past life seance] It's really very simple, you just keep staring at my reflection in the mirror until the glass clouds up all black. When it clears we'll see what I looked like in a past life.
- Stooge: Typical... Shut up and drive BITCH!
- Stooge: [shouts] Festering fuckwads! You cannot take this bitch anywhere, man.
- Frannie: [they've just arrived at Hull House] This place used to be a funeral parlor, wasn't it?
- Max: Yes. The biggest one of four counties.
- Judy Cassidy: A funeral parlor way our here?
- Max: Sure, its nice and cozy right next to the old cemetery. And rumor has it that Old Man Hull really loved his clientele. I mean in a carnal sense.
- Jay Jansen: That doesn't surprise me. I once saw a portrait of Mrs. Hull.
- Frannie: I've heard stories about this place ever since I was a kid. The Hull Family met a pretty gruesome end, didn't they?
- Max: Sure did. As a matter of fact it was on Halloween night. One of them went crazy and slaughtered the entire family. Then committed suicide. They could never figure out who did it. Too much blood and guts.
- Frannie: I can't believe we're going to party here.
- Judy Cassidy: [sighs] Neither can I.
- Angela: Judy, Rodger, where you going? The party's just begun.
- Frannie: Hey guys, how about a past life seance?
- Suzanne: A what?
- Frannie: A past life seance. You know, we all sit around, look in a mirror, and see our past lives.
- Stooge: What kind of drugs are we gonna need for this?
- Suzanne: Cool.
- [holds up her compact]
- Suzanne: Will this do?
- Angela: I'm afraid not, Suzanne, we need one we can all look into at once.
- Frannie: Max, what're you doing?
- Max: I'm just checking out an old legend about this place, come here! Judy, come here, will ya? Come here, listen.
- Judy Cassidy: [uses his stethoscope on the ground by the brick wall sealing off the house] Water!
- Max: Yeah, an underground stream. According to legend it completely surrounds the property, this wall was built right on top of it.
- Jay Jansen: A brick wall on top of an underground stream? Now there's a stroke of engineering genius.
- Max: Well the wall was built to mark the stream, supposedly the evil spirits throughout the land can't cross over running water or something.
- Angela: There's plenty of time for dancing later, now it's time for party games.
- Stooge: Yeah, we can play post orifice and you can be the stamp.
- Frannie: Don't make me ill.
- Angela: I was thinking of something a bit more in tune with the holiday.
- Sal: Like what? Bobbing for apples with razor blades in them?
- Angela: No! I was thinking more along the lines of a seance.
- Judy Cassidy: A seance?
- Helen: Isn't that a little chancy? I mean this IS Halloween, the night when all the creepy things are supposed to stalk the earth. I mean there's no telling what we'll drudge up, especially in this old place.
- Angela: Those noises we heard, there were three of them, and that awful stink, and then the chill!
- Frannie: Well it's not cold now, must've been a draft.
- Jay Jansen: Well, maybe somebody did come in.
- Helen: The odor's gone too.
- Angela: But we ALL experienced them! The noise, the stink, and the chill! They're all signs of demonic infestation.
- Frannie: Demonic what?
- Stooge: Demonic watchamacallit. I mean come on, ol' Ange here is just trying to put the ooooga booga on us, okay?
- Max: Yeah but even before the first white settlers colonized this area, this strip of land already had a bad rep.
- Jay Jansen: Sure, Max.
- Max: Mm-mm, for centuries the ancient Indian tribes used to live around this area, would NEVER set foot on this side of the underground creek, even back then they said the land was unclean.
- Jay Jansen: Right, Max, and I suppose the ghost of an ancient Indian told you that.
- Max: No, Mrs. Porter down at the library gave me a book about what the early settlers wrote, you cannot believe all the cool shit that used to go on down here.
- Jay Jansen: Yeah, especially since they didn't have any indoor plumbing, right?
- Max: No, really. A young brave got lost and settled here with his family by mistake. Anyway, they found him three weeks later, sitting under a tepee he made of his squaw's intestines, and chewing on the leg of his papoose.
- Frannie: Oh gross!
- Judy Cassidy: I've never heard so many disgusting stories in all my life.
- Sal: Thank Heaven for water pipes!
- Judy Cassidy: [touches the Old Man accidentally startling him] Gee Mister, I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you.
- Old Man: Get your hands off me!
- Judy Cassidy: Hey calm down...
- Old Man: Get away from me.
- Judy Cassidy: I-I was just trying to help.
- Old Man: I don't need your help you... damn little whore!
- Judy Cassidy: [offended] Well fine! I wouldn't wanna help an old creep like you anyway!
- [walks off]
- Old Man: Damn rotten kids. They'll get what they deserve. Yeah. They'll get what they deserve tonight
- [picks up an apple and a pack of razors and smiles and laughs sinisterly]
- Sal: [scares the old man with a fake rat causing him to drop his bags] There's no fool like an old fool.
- Old Man: [raising his hand] You son-of-a-bitch!
- Sal: Hey, Hey. Cool it pops. You wanna blow your pacemaker or somethin'?
- Old Man: [as Roger and Judy walk past his house as he collects the paper] Rotten pig trash. Been out all night, huh? Eh, they'll all rot in hell. Huh, kids.
- [He goes back inside]
- Old Man's Wife: Good morning, dear.
- Old Man: Yeah, what's so good about it?
- Old Man's Wife: You better drink your coffee before it gets cold.
- [as he's eating the pie]
- Old Man's Wife: Is it good dear?
- Old Man's Wife: Ahhh, it's okay
- Old Man's Wife: Just okay? You used to love my homemade pies.
- Old Man: Homemade? When did you make this?
- Old Man's Wife: I've been up for hours sleepyhead. I made it while you were getting your beauty rest.
- Old Man: Last night?
- Old Man's Wife: There weren't as many trick or treaters last night. Not like the good old days. I had to do something with all those leftover apples. I still can't understand why you buy so many.
- [He accidentally swallowed a razor that was inside the pie causing his throat to get cut up with blood coming out he slumps over the table dead she walks up to him and kisses his head]
- Old Man's Wife: Happy Halloween dear.
- Rodger: Whoever drew up this map must've been half blind and half retarded.
- Stooge: Sounds like Angela. Dizzy fucking bitch, man.
- Judy Cassidy: [Sal just scared Jay after hiding in a coffin] Jay, no!
- Jay Jansen: Hey come on! Who's side are you on?
- Judy Cassidy: Whose side am I on? You're acting like a child! You were about to climb in there to scare someone else. Now you're going to punch out Sal just because he beat you to it?
En savoir plus sur ce titre
