Transmutations

I love bad films. This film is horrible. Fiendishly so. You get drawn in. It sucks up your will to stop watching. You sit there absolutely positive that you won't get more horrified. But heck it's got Rowdy Roddy Piper in it as the main star. That has to tell you something, though for the life of me I can't tell what. Please avert your eyes as our hero, Sam Hell(Rowdy), gets, for lack of a better word, seduced by every female in the post-apocalyptic world including a mutant frog woman. It's scary...I screamed in terror. And don't even get me started on the dance of the three snakes...I'll never look at a frog the same way again.

True story: Rowdy Roddy Piper once put me in a choke hold (at my request - doh!) and damn near snapped my head off. It's a good job I didn't let him know what I thought about Hell Comes To Frogtown: he might have finished the job.

The basic concept for Hell Comes To Frogtown sounds like B-movie heaven: Sam Hell (Piper), one of the few virile men in a post-apocalyptic world, is forced to take part in a mission to rescue a group of fertile women from Frogtown, which is controlled by an amphibious mutant called Commander Toty (Brian Frank) and his army of frog-men. Steve Wang's remarkably cool creatures make the film worth a watch for fans of practical special effects, but they are really deserving of a much better film, the script for this cheeze-fest not nearly as crazy, as inventive, or as entertaining as it should have been.

Piper gets in poorly choreographed fist-fights, as does Sandahl Bergman, who plays Spangle, the Medtech agent assigned to ensure that Hell plays his part. There are lacklustre gunfights, a few explosions, some cheesy one-liners, and a bit of nudity (from Cec Verrell as Corporal Centinella), plus the rather unique sight of a one-eyed humanoid frog chainsawing off our hero's explosive chastity belt. Sadly, it's all so flatly directed by Donald G. Jackson and R.J. Kizer that it actually proves rather tedious for much of the time. It doesn't help matters that the bulk of the budget was clearly spent on the frog make-up and animatronics, which means that the rest of the film has a distinct air of cheapness about it (Frogtown is a derelict factory with a population of about twenty, and the climactic pursuit of our heroes involves just two vehicles).

As if to emphasise the general lack of inspiration, the action culminates at that popular sci-fi movie location, the Vasquez Rocks, as seen in every other low-budget straight-to-video flick of the '80s.

5/10. Passable nonsense, but not deserving of its cult status.

A movie with a name like this and a star like Piper, you know what you are in for... a B movie. However, this B Movie is actually quite entertaining. It sort of plays (in a way) like Barbarella with the exception that the hero is a guy, not that he's walking around half-naked (the girls still do that in this movie). I actually found it quite funny and entertaining. No, it's not classic cinema. It wasn't meant to be. It was meant to be entertaining, and it works.

Quick Summary: Men are mostly sterile. Women are not, and now are in charge. Sam Hell is a rare exception, and they need to "protect his jewels". You have giant mutant frogs trying to control the human race in this post-apocalyptic world.

It's a solid B-movie. If you are a B-movie fan, you will love this.

The only thing I got to complain about Hell Comes to Frogtown is the fact that it did not exploit its potential to full extent. This is solid 80s cheese with lots of stupid but fun ideas, a cheesy show on a B-movie budget. On the other side of the coin the action and sleaziness factor is not that high - I know a lot of movies of the genre that provide here a higher level. Anyway, watchable for the connoisseur of cheesy post-apocalyptic B-movies. Starring Roddy Piper (They Live!), Sandahl Bergman (Conan The Barbarian, Red Sonja, She).

Just saw this one last night. Very goofy. After nuclear war, most people are either dead or sterile. Roddy Piper (Sam Hell) is Shanghai'd by the new govt to go around impregnating those women who are still fertile. They slap a male chastity belt on him and tell him "it's government equipment now." There's also some psycho army guy who's really cheesed that women are in charge of so many things now. (This was made in 1987. I checked, because this guy seemed to belong in 1887.) The army women drive around in cars painted Mary Kay pink.

Then they have to go rescue a bunch of fertile women who are being held prisoner in Frogtown. By frogs. Seriously. A bunch of people in frog masks/gloves run the place. Apparently, frogmen arose instantly as a result of radiation. (May I remind you... 1987. Hello???!?!) Anyway, the head frog is called Toady. Really.

There's bad acting and cheesy sets galore. I have no idea why this is rated R. (Oh, 1987.) They talk about impregnating women/sex a lot, but we see a total of 2 breasts for about 2 seconds. There are also a few scantily-clad, but completely-covered bimbo scenes. I get the feeling that they originally intended this to be a late-night-cine max kind of thing, then just went for campy comedy instead. As a female, this decision is not disappointing to me, but male viewers may feel cheated. :)

According to Netflix, this film "spawned two sequels." Why?? Did this actually make money???? Well, it looks like it was shot in Agua Dulce for about $10,000 so maybe it did. Was this a straight to video, or did it have a theatrical run? Anyone know?