Transmutations

True story: Rowdy Roddy Piper once put me in a choke hold (at my request - doh!) and damn near snapped my head off. It's a good job I didn't let him know what I thought about Hell Comes To Frogtown: he might have finished the job.

The basic concept for Hell Comes To Frogtown sounds like B-movie heaven: Sam Hell (Piper), one of the few virile men in a post-apocalyptic world, is forced to take part in a mission to rescue a group of fertile women from Frogtown, which is controlled by an amphibious mutant called Commander Toty (Brian Frank) and his army of frog-men. Steve Wang's remarkably cool creatures make the film worth a watch for fans of practical special effects, but they are really deserving of a much better film, the script for this cheeze-fest not nearly as crazy, as inventive, or as entertaining as it should have been.

Piper gets in poorly choreographed fist-fights, as does Sandahl Bergman, who plays Spangle, the Medtech agent assigned to ensure that Hell plays his part. There are lacklustre gunfights, a few explosions, some cheesy one-liners, and a bit of nudity (from Cec Verrell as Corporal Centinella), plus the rather unique sight of a one-eyed humanoid frog chainsawing off our hero's explosive chastity belt. Sadly, it's all so flatly directed by Donald G. Jackson and R.J. Kizer that it actually proves rather tedious for much of the time. It doesn't help matters that the bulk of the budget was clearly spent on the frog make-up and animatronics, which means that the rest of the film has a distinct air of cheapness about it (Frogtown is a derelict factory with a population of about twenty, and the climactic pursuit of our heroes involves just two vehicles).

As if to emphasise the general lack of inspiration, the action culminates at that popular sci-fi movie location, the Vasquez Rocks, as seen in every other low-budget straight-to-video flick of the '80s.

5/10. Passable nonsense, but not deserving of its cult status.

'Hell' is the name of the hero of the story. He's a prisoner of the women who now run the USA after a nuclear/biological war. Results of the war are that mutants have evolved, and the human race is in danger of extinction due to infertility. Hell is given the task of helping in the rescue of a group of people from the harem of the mutant leader (resembling a frog). Hell cannot escape since he has a bomb attached to his private parts which will detonate if he strays more than a few hundred yards from his guard. Some cool special effects (the frog creatures look really good), bad acting, cheesy plot....Leave your brain at the front door, there's some entertainment to be found here.

Hell Comes to Frogtown is a hilarious cult classic. The plot alone makes this one a must see. It's the stuff of legends. No kidding, the greatest plot of all time. Get this: Rowdy Roddy Piper is one of the last fertile men on the planet. He has some kind of super sperm and humanity is a dying race because of a lack of fertile men and women. So, he is forced by a largely female government called MedTech to go to Frogtown (ruled by mutated Frog people known as Greeners) to rescue fertile women from the evil Toady so he can impregnate them. It's all in the name of freedom of course. Great huh? The supporting cast features Sandahl Bergman, Big Will Smith, Nicholas Worth, and Rory Calhoun. Rent only if you're looking for laughs, and laughs you'll get. A thousand thanks go to Anchor Bay for re-releasing this hard to find classic.

"Hell Comes to Frogtown" seems to have many of the necessary ingredients to become a genuine cult classic, but the execution is uninspired and the film is not NEARLY as much schlocky fun as it could have been. The main problem is the pacing, which is, in a word, deadening: there are long stretches of nothing happening. In a movie like this, the No 1 thing you want to see is "Rowdy" Roddy Piper and Sandahl Bergman kick a lot of mutant frog butt. They do, but to a much lesser degree than you might expect (even after Piper enters a room holding two shotguns and yells "Eat lead, froggies!"). It doesn't help that large portions of the film seem to have been filmed in a small, dusty warehouse. But Piper is likable enough, Sandahl Bergman and Cec Verrell are 2 strong & sexy women, and the "frog effects" are acceptable, so I'm giving this a higher rating than it probably deserves: ** out of 4 stars.

A movie with a name like this and a star like Piper, you know what you are in for... a B movie. However, this B Movie is actually quite entertaining. It sort of plays (in a way) like Barbarella with the exception that the hero is a guy, not that he's walking around half-naked (the girls still do that in this movie). I actually found it quite funny and entertaining. No, it's not classic cinema. It wasn't meant to be. It was meant to be entertaining, and it works.

Quick Summary: Men are mostly sterile. Women are not, and now are in charge. Sam Hell is a rare exception, and they need to "protect his jewels". You have giant mutant frogs trying to control the human race in this post-apocalyptic world.

It's a solid B-movie. If you are a B-movie fan, you will love this.