Deadtime Stories

Fairy-tales gone bad, devilishly bad, in this total "B" cheese-fest anthology movie from obscure 80's horror heaven! It's an oddball flick, adding a lot of absurd and black humor. Bad actors and very low budget but still some cool & gory special effects (one scene in the first segment even had me thinking about the resurrection of Frank in "Hellraiser", of course a little less impressively staged this time). The last segment is as retarded as it is genius. And it's got Goldilox showing some upper nakedness. I just cannot flunk this bad boy; I had way too much fun with it. And regardless the painfully low production values, it does manage to be fairly original & spirited. Die hard horror anthology lovers should check this out some time.

So, to tell the truth, the first reason I wanted to see this film was to see that actor from FAMILY TIES in a gross-out horror film. But, despite a few cheesy effects, this film is two-thirds a dud.

The first story, about witches, is a wash-out.

The second story, a parody on Little Red Riding Hood, was better paced, but still lacking in any real dramatic thrust(except for that of Red, when she meets up with her boyfriend). This is the one that Scott Valentine is in, and although an improvement on the first story, it still bit the big one.

The third story, however, works. Goldi Lox is a psycho, and the Bears are thieves. This makes for a perfect coupling, until sex comes into play. Then, things get nasty. This segment is the best of the three stories, and maybe if the other two stories had been as strong(and funny), the overall film would've been better.

As it stands, however, DEADTIME STORIES isn't exactly the best way to spend 90 minutes. It is slow in many sections, and the low budget is evident. But, if you don't mind fast-forwarding about an hour, the Goldi Lox story is a real hoot. Otherwise, THE OFFSPRING is a far more superior anthology film.

My review was written in May 1986 after a Cannes Film Festival Market screening.

"Dead Time Stories", originally titled "Freaky Fairy Tales", is an unsatisfactory horror comedy in three segments. Only audienced is diehard fans for special makeup effects.

Structure closely resembles that of "Creepshow", with a little boy demanding that his uncle recite scary bedtime stories to help him go to sleep.

Only the first tale is effective: a low-budget but interesting to look at medieval story of Peter (Scott Valentine), a fisherman's son sold into slavery to two witches. He saves a girl they intend to sacrifice in order to conjure back to life their warlock brother (using remains of his heart fetched from his grave). Makeup effects are very impressive here as the heart gradually recreates the whole body by spouting blood vessels, sinews and red creeping flesh in an amazing set piece. Half-hour story also features a funny trick ending.

The following two segments of "Dead Time Stories" are truly terrible and a test of any audience's endurance. Part Two has the story of Red Riding Hood updated to the present with Rachel (Nicole Picard) as a sey girl in red jogging togs who goes to the drugstore to fetch Maalox for her granny. The Maalox is accidentally mixed up with a drug fix for wolf Willie, who is a sleazebag as well as a werewolf. He bites, and kills granny when he goes to her house to exchange the drugstore parcels and is in turn done in by resourceful Rachel. Guess what Granny turns into?

Idiiotic finale revamps the "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" tale into sophomoric slapstick. Goldie (Cathryn De Prume) is a blonde with a big chest who killed her parents at age eight, followed by other killing sprees. She's just escaped from an insane asylum as have Mr. Baer and his lame-brained son, sprung from stir by Ma Ma Baer (Melissa Leo). The four of them team up and fight it out with the local cops. Oddest element of this amateurish segment is the casting of Melissa Leo, a talented young actres, with black wig and some makeup as the matriarch with an adult son.

Technical credits and acting are weak throughout.

A little boy begs his uncle to tell him bedtime stories. The uncle does, but gives them all macabre twists in this fair-to-middling anthology film.

"Peter And The Witches" is about a young man (Scott Valentine) who is a slave to two witches. This segment is slow and almost plot less.

"Little Red Runninghood" has a high school girl in a red jogging outfit picking up medicine for her sick grandma at the drug store. She's given the wrong prescription, and the man the medicine belongs to has a very special reason for needing it before the full moon (hint, hint). You'll guess the punchline, but it's still a funny segment.

"Goldi Lox And The Three Baers" is a very broad, very black comedy about a telekinetic young woman (the very sexy Catheryn DePrume) and a homicidal family - Papa Baer, Mama Baer and Baby Baer - that team up together and go on a crime spree. Sort of a R rated Looney Tunes cartoon, this is the best segment of the film.

Perhaps not the best horror anthology around, it's still amusing in spots. Apparently this movie was shot over the course of four years. The British title is Freaky Fairy Tales.

To truly enjoy horror films I think you have to set other movie criteria aside. Let's face it horror wasn't created to win any Oscars, it is in a league of its own. Deadtime Stories is fun for what it is a b-horror movie with a cheesy, yet lovable twist. The whole idea of twisted fairy tales is intriguing and some of them are actually quite good re-telling in particular Little Red Riding Hood. Deadtime Stories is definitely not for the more serious movie watcher but if you enjoy gore with only the slightest bit of substance then buy it, you won't be sorry.