Creepozoids

Set in the post-apocalyptic near future of 1998 (this is an 80s flick, remember), Creepozoids sees a group of army deserters breaking into a heavily fortified building (well, the door was locked, anyway) in order to shelter from an acid-rain storm. This turns out to be a bad idea, for the place not only turns out to be home to giant killer rats, but also a biological experiment gone wrong: a virus designed to replace amino acids causes the soldiers to mutate and die if they eat, but worse still, there's a six foot rubber monster on the loose and it ain't very friendly.

Directed by B-movie hack David DeCoteau, and starring Linnea Quigley, the quintessential 80s scream queen (plus a pre-hardcore Ashlyn Gere, here credited as Kim McKamy), this film is a very cheap and very trashy Alien rip-off that manages to be vaguely entertaining thanks to its sheer awfulness: marvel at Quigley's nipple enhancing vest and her uncanny ability to locate a working shower, even in an end-of-the-world scenario; be totally surprised when Gere DOESN'T remove her top; spot the major goof as one character reads a computer journal out loud, but his words fail to match those displayed on the screen; laugh as the cast wrestle with unconvincing, over-sized stuffed rodents; be amazed as DeCoteau foolishly attempts to recreate Ridley Scott's shocking mess-room scene from Alien; and wonder WTF is going on as a mutant baby erupts from the creature and proceeds to attack the sole survivor.

Now I've seen a lot a terrible horror films, but this is about the worst. It was so bad that when we watched it the first time on video, we just had to keep rewinding and playing the 'worst' scenes over and over again, until we could take it no more.

It was absolutely hilarious!! The giant rats could not be any less animated, although having said that, the actors were worse!! Their attempts at terrified screams were worthy of Oscar nominations in the comedy category.

Watch this film when you a feeling miserable!! It cannot fail to make you laugh!!!

In the near future, a group of Army deserters take shelter in an abandoned building to hide from acid rain and the two world superpowers remaining (presumably the United States and Russia, though I do not recall the film being specific). What is locked inside the building, however, may be even more deadly than the war raging on outside.

"Creepozoids" is probably one of the most under-rated films of the late 1980s. While it is true that the plot is a bit thin, the acting average and the special effects not overly stunning, it doesn't deserve the low rating it tends to receive. IMDb, for example, gives this film a paltry 2.2 -- yet, I can say with confidence I've seen countless 5/10 films that were far worse and much less entertaining. This film has a certain B-movie fun factor to it that really provides a lot of charm.

What will probably draw most people to this film is the appearance of Linnea Quigley. And if you're looking for more of her clothes-free scream queening (if "Return of the Living Dead" isn't enough), this film will be right up your alley -- even in a world with contaminated water and rodents of unusual size, Linnea finds the time to have a steamy, sexy shower scene.

The Guy Moon score is cheesy but effective. The effects department... that's a bit odd. We have an alien in a rubber suit. Large rats that don't move at all unless a victim throws them. And a metal tunnel that is only filmed on two of the four sides, making it appear that the person crawling through it is merely low along the wall and not actually in a vent. If the budget was a concern, I think they saved a few dollars along the way.

I really did enjoy the film, though. At a short 70 minutes, the pace is quick and leaves little time to lose interest. Some of the bad dialog can be excused, and despite the fact many people have called this film derivative of "Alien", I just don't see it. I saw much more in common with splatter-melt flicks such as "Street Trash" or "Demons". In this department, the effects were top-notch.

I may be alone on this, but I'd love for Full Moon (or anyone) to release a special edition of this film, perhaps for its 25th anniversary in 2012. An audio commentary with the director and Linnea Quigley would be welcome, and if any outtakes, behind the scenes or cut shots exist, these might be of interest. I really found this to be a good example of an enjoyable film made on the cheap, far more fun and entertaining than bigger Full Moon flicks like "Puppet Master".

I have to agree with Dr Gore on this one. The highlight would be Linnea Quigley showering and the low point would be the rest of the movie where it wasn't showing her in a shower scene. I saw this movie when I was a kid and thought it was really cool, I mean, come one, a big cheesy, rubbery alien tearin' ass, post apocalyptical wastelands, Quigley showering.......excellent! So, I saw it on ebay and bought it. I still like the Quigley showers, and the cheesy alien is still worth a laugh or two, but now I see the post apacalyptical wasteland is really a low budget dirt field with a warehouse. Ahhh, the 80s. What was everyone thinking...besides scream queen Quigley showering? Of course it had a high spot (in case you didn't catch it, Linnea Quigly showering).

There's not a lot you can say about Creepozoids, it's really just a rip-off of Alien with an extremely trashy feel. The lighting is poor and the pace is a little slow. However there's some mildly amusing scenes scattered throughout, mostly towards the end when you get to see the monster and the "baby". The monster effects are actually quite decent considering the obvious low budget. I laughed a few times, especially when the guy throws the baby off himself, and also when the monster is apparently holding him up in the air - it's obvious that he's attached to a harness from the ceiling. There's also a few funny scenes involving giant "rats" that look like puppets. Oh, and one of the girls bares her breasts.

Creepozoids isn't a total waste of time, but it's not something you'll want to go out of your way to find either.