Miami Connection

Well, the RIFFTRAX versions of this movie are hilarious!

This has to be one of the best bad movies ever made. My friend found the cover for this movie online and we just had to see it. Wow, nothing will prepare you for all the cheesy 80's awesomeness, the genuine confusion, and incredible quotes(Oh my God!). Why are the bad guys trying to kill these guys? I forgot half way through the movie, something about ninjas and cocaine I think. They're in a band, really? A ninja band!? Well technically it's Tae Kwon Do, but who cares. Those songs will stick with you the rest of your life, they're not half bad either, super catchy with ridiculous lyrics.

Y.K. Kim, God bless you. You are a stand up guy in real life, an ambassador for martial arts, an enthusiastic American immigrant, and have created something that encapsulates the absurdity that is the 1980's. This movie has to be seen by lovers of camp everywhere. No joke, it will change your life.

Okay let's get something outa the way right here and now. This film critically... sucks. Hell it does more than merely suck. It's shoddy, the acting is woeful, the plot is nonsensical and it has a hilariously bad subplot involving one band member's quest to find his father. The soundtrack is dire. So, for those of you who expect some form of quality in their cinema, then I recommend The Exorcist or if you don't like horror, then I dunno. The Lives of Others maybe. I haven't seen it but lots of critics really seem to like it so knock yourselves out. However... for those of you who are less discerning... well.

Every so often a film transcends its mere badness via its sheer unintentional hilarity. It becomes a different beast entirely and strays from the realm of crap to the magical plane of craptastic. Some have boldy come before it such as Mad Foxes, Raw Force, White Fire and Gymkata, leaving trash fans with their jaws slightly agape afterward and also pretty big shoes to fill. These films are passed along via word of mouth, so a select few people- those who are willing to overlook such niceties as "quality" and "technical prowess", or "pleasing cinematography"- can appreciate their crappy goodness and for you select fans who know what I'm talking about then have no fear... The Miami Connection is one of those films. And any fan of tacky 80s crap will thank me for this recommendation, trust me on this.

Oh yeah the plot. I dunno, a really bad syntho pop group go up against a drug cartel for some reason. I was too busy laughing to pay close attention.

Anyway, a strong solid 7/10 on the craptastic level, a perfect beer or whatevs flick or just a great flick to cheer you up if you're having a crappy day.

But critically, it's really really bad.

(51%) A crazy, 80's to the limit, Warriors/Streets of fire/biker movie/Godfry Ho style mess, filled with awful writing and laughable performers from actors that really should never feature in front of camera with more than one line each. On a plus side some of the action sequences are quite good, and the direction does draw out some nice shots from time to time, plus it's very simple fun. Anyone with any affection for 80's cheese that can see past the quite major problems (acting/writing/editing/quite terrible rock music sequences) will likely enjoy at least some of what this has to offer, while others should stay away.

Loyalty. Honesty. We'll stay together through thick or thin. Friends forever, we'll be together. We're on top 'cause we play to win.

The words reverberate through your thoughts, challenging the underlying foundation of your modern day belief system, and make you question existence itself.

Welcome to "Miami Connection".

The films producer, and leading role, YK Kim, was a savvy entrepreneur who enjoyed success in Central Florida in the 80's teaching martial arts. He wrote and co-directed this film on his own dime, and this masterpiece is a shining example of what can be achieved when one knows Tae Kwon Do and is ready for a good time.

It's no secret that 1980's Florida was a haven for cocaine drug trafficking. Hollywood attempted to glorify it with TV shows like Miami Vice, and with films like Scarface. But nothing captures this moment in time and raises a huge independent middle finger to the powers that be in Hollywood like "Miami Connection".

While scholars will argue the misdirection created by the films title, let's once and for all set the tone and clear the air. Bad guys: Miami - Good Guys: Orlando.

It was true then, and it's still true to this day.

To truly understand the gravity this film creates, first one must fully understand the essence of it's main characters.

Dragon Sound is one jam-tastic rock band whose instruments don't match the synthesizer-laden sounds they make (who cares because the 80's were confusing) and throw it down frequently at Central Florida's hottest night club. (at the time I think it is called The Edge, or maybe JJ Whispers). And the bad guys are super upset because the owner of the night club is letting Dragon Sound play instead of their band. Within a few moments of hearing Dragon Sound play, its evidently clear as to why they have been supplanted. Disrupting the bad guys drug trade, as well as everything else is an afterthought. Herein lies the beauty of this masterpiece.

If you are familiar with Orlando, this film will resonate eternal. Church Street, middle of the night, gang fight involving poured beer, taunts, convertibles, and action that gets spilled over onto Magnolia. "That Son of a B! Right There!" Who knew that in the 80's, the owner of Station 441 was a bad dude Korean that wore a Mickey Mouse apron and beat down punks who tried to skip out on their bill? All that's missing is Mama B's!

Its all about a regional bearded crime boss named Jeff, and fingerless gloves, mullets, biker gangs paid in beer, slow motion Bruce Lee sequences , cocaine, shirtless Tae Kwon Do rock bands, tough guys, making dreams come true, aviator shades, borderline racist daddy issues, grape feeding, asking what you have in the bank, "Against the Ninjas" ala Pat Benatar, uninhibited butchering of the English language, Mid-rif t-shirts and Sport Coats, the University of Central Florida, and ninjas on motorcycles blocking your route to the airport.

The musical score really stands out in this movie. One cant help but love the dark wave 80's synthesizers playing out in the train scene.

YK Kim is the 1980's version of Leonardo Da Vinci. "Masterpiece" is a term that barely scrapes the surface. The International Programming Contest results are in! We made fourth place. MAKE SOME NOISE!!!

If you are young, old, male, female, doesn't matter. Stop everything going on in your life. Put it all on pause and prepare yourself for the life changing experience you are about to embark upon...

Miami CONNECTION