Miami Connection

Well, the RIFFTRAX versions of this movie are hilarious!

Loyalty. Honesty. We'll stay together through thick or thin. Friends forever, we'll be together. We're on top 'cause we play to win.

The words reverberate through your thoughts, challenging the underlying foundation of your modern day belief system, and make you question existence itself.

Welcome to "Miami Connection".

The films producer, and leading role, YK Kim, was a savvy entrepreneur who enjoyed success in Central Florida in the 80's teaching martial arts. He wrote and co-directed this film on his own dime, and this masterpiece is a shining example of what can be achieved when one knows Tae Kwon Do and is ready for a good time.

It's no secret that 1980's Florida was a haven for cocaine drug trafficking. Hollywood attempted to glorify it with TV shows like Miami Vice, and with films like Scarface. But nothing captures this moment in time and raises a huge independent middle finger to the powers that be in Hollywood like "Miami Connection".

While scholars will argue the misdirection created by the films title, let's once and for all set the tone and clear the air. Bad guys: Miami - Good Guys: Orlando.

It was true then, and it's still true to this day.

To truly understand the gravity this film creates, first one must fully understand the essence of it's main characters.

Dragon Sound is one jam-tastic rock band whose instruments don't match the synthesizer-laden sounds they make (who cares because the 80's were confusing) and throw it down frequently at Central Florida's hottest night club. (at the time I think it is called The Edge, or maybe JJ Whispers). And the bad guys are super upset because the owner of the night club is letting Dragon Sound play instead of their band. Within a few moments of hearing Dragon Sound play, its evidently clear as to why they have been supplanted. Disrupting the bad guys drug trade, as well as everything else is an afterthought. Herein lies the beauty of this masterpiece.

If you are familiar with Orlando, this film will resonate eternal. Church Street, middle of the night, gang fight involving poured beer, taunts, convertibles, and action that gets spilled over onto Magnolia. "That Son of a B! Right There!" Who knew that in the 80's, the owner of Station 441 was a bad dude Korean that wore a Mickey Mouse apron and beat down punks who tried to skip out on their bill? All that's missing is Mama B's!

Its all about a regional bearded crime boss named Jeff, and fingerless gloves, mullets, biker gangs paid in beer, slow motion Bruce Lee sequences , cocaine, shirtless Tae Kwon Do rock bands, tough guys, making dreams come true, aviator shades, borderline racist daddy issues, grape feeding, asking what you have in the bank, "Against the Ninjas" ala Pat Benatar, uninhibited butchering of the English language, Mid-rif t-shirts and Sport Coats, the University of Central Florida, and ninjas on motorcycles blocking your route to the airport.

The musical score really stands out in this movie. One cant help but love the dark wave 80's synthesizers playing out in the train scene.

YK Kim is the 1980's version of Leonardo Da Vinci. "Masterpiece" is a term that barely scrapes the surface. The International Programming Contest results are in! We made fourth place. MAKE SOME NOISE!!!

If you are young, old, male, female, doesn't matter. Stop everything going on in your life. Put it all on pause and prepare yourself for the life changing experience you are about to embark upon...

Miami CONNECTION

Okay let's get something outa the way right here and now. This film critically... sucks. Hell it does more than merely suck. It's shoddy, the acting is woeful, the plot is nonsensical and it has a hilariously bad subplot involving one band member's quest to find his father. The soundtrack is dire. So, for those of you who expect some form of quality in their cinema, then I recommend The Exorcist or if you don't like horror, then I dunno. The Lives of Others maybe. I haven't seen it but lots of critics really seem to like it so knock yourselves out. However... for those of you who are less discerning... well.

Every so often a film transcends its mere badness via its sheer unintentional hilarity. It becomes a different beast entirely and strays from the realm of crap to the magical plane of craptastic. Some have boldy come before it such as Mad Foxes, Raw Force, White Fire and Gymkata, leaving trash fans with their jaws slightly agape afterward and also pretty big shoes to fill. These films are passed along via word of mouth, so a select few people- those who are willing to overlook such niceties as "quality" and "technical prowess", or "pleasing cinematography"- can appreciate their crappy goodness and for you select fans who know what I'm talking about then have no fear... The Miami Connection is one of those films. And any fan of tacky 80s crap will thank me for this recommendation, trust me on this.

Oh yeah the plot. I dunno, a really bad syntho pop group go up against a drug cartel for some reason. I was too busy laughing to pay close attention.

Anyway, a strong solid 7/10 on the craptastic level, a perfect beer or whatevs flick or just a great flick to cheer you up if you're having a crappy day.

But critically, it's really really bad.

Miami Connection is the perfect storm of ugly people, bad acting, stupid dialogue, horrendous action sequences, and bargain basement special effects. I wasn't sure who to root for: the evil drug lord and his retarded henchmen who are painfully clueless and inept at the simple things like being threatening on any level - or the gangster ninjas who show up and steal drugs and money from the drug lord and easily demolish the loser henchmen - or the "heroes" of the flick, the awesomely awful and culturally diverse synth rock band the Dragon Sounds who I just wanted to watch get sawed in half a la the Scarface "shower scene."

Best lines include: "they don't make buns like that down at the bakery" and "my mother was Korean and my father was Black American"

God I love this movie, it has everything a true cinephile could ever dream for. Enjoy.

Miami Connection (1987)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Some college kids from Central Florida not only play in a rock band but they're also masters at martial arts. Good thing for them because one of the members begins dating a girl whose brother just happens to be the leader of a violent motorcycle gang involved in all sorts of illegal activities.

It's strange how movies are usually forgotten only to later be rediscovered for some reason. The history of Miami CONNECTION is pretty fascinating as it pretty much died as soon as it was released and no one even knew about it outside the filmmakers and cast. Twenty-two years later a programmer for the Alamo Drafthouse ended up buying a copy of the film on eBay for $50 and soon he was booking it and out of nowhere a large cult following started. Today, Miami CONNECTIOn has a rather large cult following and it even got a special edition released to DVD and Blu-ray.

So, why do so many awful movies get forgotten and others ones like this end up with a cult following? My only guess is that some movies reach the "so bad they're good" level because the filmmakers went into the project not thinking they were making a low-budget bad movies but instead they go in thinking they're making the next CITIZEN KANE. I'm sure they believe that everything from the acting to the directing to the screenplay is just something special when it fact it's all very, very bad. This film is certainly awful on just about every level from the performances to the incredibly awful rock soundtrack but thankfully there are some moments that are so awful that you can't help but laugh.

There are many highlights (or lowlights depends on how you see it) here including some stereotypes that are just so cringe-worthy that you can't help but laugh. The rock band has different ethnic members but the Asian and black guys are so laughable that you can't help but wonder what they were thinking. The subplot dealing with the black guy not knowing who is father is is just priceless. Another highlight is the over-the-top violence including a "death" scenes towards the end, which has to be one of the funniest ever filmed. I'm not going to ruin what major character it happens to but I dare anyone watch it and not laugh.

Miami CONNECTION is an awful movie, there's no question about it but thankfully there are enough bad moments to make it worth viewing if you're a fan of this type of thing.