Allan Quatermain et la Cité de l'or perdu

Some films are made so bad that they are funny. "Allan Quatermain And the Lost City Of Gold" falls under that category; this is far beyond the most awful film I have in my collection. The script I'm sure disappeared on the first day of shooting, the acting is even worse and the special effects look if it had a budget of a couple of pounds. This is all elements which becomes the force of the film. You're not laughing because it's fun, but because it's bad. Maybe that's why I can still be entertained by it.

"Allan Quatermain And the Lost City Of Gold" is the adventure genre's "Plan 9 From Outer Space" (though the special effects are slightly better), and I can still enjoy watching this delightly dreadful disaster of an adventure film.

Richard Chamberlain and Sharon Stone reprise their roles as Alan Quatermain and Jesse Huston in "KING SOLOMON'S MINES".

This time around, the quest is on to seek out a 'Utopian' society that has only been talked about, but never seen, hidden within a 'lost city of gold'. The 'lost city' is in fact just a small white-stucco duplex with three floors and a 'staircase' that is supposed to resemble that of a Mayan or Aztec temple and the 'gold' is nothing more than a big vat of brown water and tormented slaves dragging around pallets of gold Styrofoam blocks.

The good 'inhabitants' of this city are mainly fair-haired white folk with a handful of Africans wearing white robes, held under the tyranny of Henry Silva who is absolutely hilarious portraying a gold-infatuated crackpot who goes by the name of 'Agon' while donning ridiculous ceremonial robes and laughable KISS wigs.

Most hilarious are Cassandra Peterson (a.k.a. Elvira) as Silva's evil hench-woman and Aileen Marson who spends what little time she has on-screen wearing outfits and hair-styles suitable for an episode of 'DYNASTY'.

Chamberlain and Stone both know how ridiculous the script is, but make the most out of it with their antics and C-Grade acting methods. It is Silva who actually makes this movie work. His appearance alone is hysterical, the 'chariot' scene has to be seen to be believed. Most embarrassing is Robert Donner as 'Swarma', a sleazy filthy Indian fakir whose accent is more laughable than Will Ferrell's in "AUSTIN POWERS" as Mustafa.

A surprising and miscast addition to the series is James Earl Jones as legendary African warrior Umslopogaas (think of Grace Jones in "CONAN THE DESTROYER" as Zula). He has one good scene where he 'destroys' a sacrificial table with his axe, and that is about it.

Some other hilarious scenes to look out for would include Chamberlain blowing up a stone bench with a stick of dynamite and Silva being 'covered' in gold. Actually, it looks like he gets a bowl of gold porridge dumped on his head, and the next scene he is a gold statue (LMAO!).

Yes, "THE LOST CITY OF GOLD" is a turkey, but it IS darn hilarious! While there are no scenes of John Rhys-Davies spouting hilarious dialog such as, "I shall crush your eye like a grape", we do have Silva delivering new lines such as "Alle-gleeeee-aaaaah!". Cirque De Soleil, take a note!

I don't know why I like this movie so much. I saw it when I was a kid in the 80's and I laughed till it hurt, and I just watched it again this afternoon and got the same reaction. Trust me, there aren't too many movies out there that can still make me do that.

While this movie is not as good as "KING SOLOMON'S MINES", I still enjoyed it all the same. If it weren't for its dismal performance at the box office, I am sure a third 'adventure' would have been created to complete this trilogy, a C-Grade homage to Indiana Jones.

So to all you serious movie buffs out there - this movie is silly and makes no excuses for its actions. Just kick back and enjoy the hilarity, because I can guarantee you that this movie WILL make you laugh!

My Rating - 6 out of 10

This film is in truth a terrible movie, there is hardly any credible acting, even with a average cast involved. The humor is even more awful, and the film is a carbon copy rip-off of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. But this movie can still be enjoyed by just about anyone, even with the whole family. When I watched this, when I was little, on tape, I really didn't care how bad it was, and I enjoyed it, I still do, but now only to a certain magnitude. This movie is for anyone who loves cheap film flam movies, like godzilla, or the famous cheap kung-fu ones made during the Bruce Lee era (not saying of course Bruce Lee movies are this bad). In truth, I saw this movie before the King Solomon's mine one that precedes it, and this makes THAT movie look like a actual wonder of a movie, and if you like one star movies, give this one chance, it really isn't avoidable in appearance only in content. My rating a VERY respectable 2 out of 10.

Now... I have read everyone's reviews on how terrible this movie was. May I say... why? What is so terrible about it? No... you shouldn't take it too seriously. But, what in television should be scrutinized so much you can't even enjoy it? This movie has all the qualities I admire in a movie. Action, adventure, comedy, and the hint of a myth beyond the whole thing. All in all, it is an excellent movie.

I have to agree with much of what has been said before me in other reviews. Yes, the film tries to piggyback on the success of Raiders of the Lost Ark, including a musical score that suggests the Raiders Franchise. The green screen effects are laughable as is much of the other "special" effects, but the film is still enjoyable enough for adventure/fantasy fans to waste a couple of hours on. You get to see a very youthful and slim James Earl Jones in probably a performance he'd like to forget, plus Sharon Stone once again proves that she can't act and Henry Silva is a raving lunatic, but again, what the heck eh? Lots of big names, but not the big budget. Watch it anyways just for the simple entertainment value without putting any importance to the flick.