- Gang Leader: Don't fuck with the Lords of Hell!
- [Chris picks up the knife and shoves it in the gang leader's face]
- Chris: Don't fuck with the babysitter!
- [Brenda has been at the bus station downtown for so long, she's starving. She tentatively approaches a hot dog vendor]
- Brenda: Uh, those are hot dogs, right?
- Hot Dog Vendor: Yeah, want one?
- Brenda: Mmm, yeah I'd love one.
- Hot Dog Vendor: That'll be two bucks.
- Hot Dog Vendor: [Brenda hands him a check, he stares incredulously] A check?
- Brenda: Yeah, but it's a good check. See, Chris' mom wrote it to Chris 'cause Chris bought her something, I can't remember what. Then I bought Chris some press-on nails, I gave Chris the difference, and she wrote the check over to me. So I'll write the check over to you, you keep the difference, and I'll take the hot dog. So, you got a pen?
- Hot Dog Vendor: Get outta here!
- Brenda: Wait! I'm starving, you'd rather throw it away than give it to me?
- Hot Dog Vendor: I work on a cash-only basis.
- Brenda: But it's a perfectly good check!
- Hot Dog Vendor: No! I'll make it very clear. You slip me the cash, and I'll slip you the weiner.
- Brenda: But I don't have any cash!
- Hot Dog Vendor: Then I don't have a weiner!
- [in a telephone booth in the bus station]
- Brenda: Chris I'm begging you, it's really scary here. I've just seen three people shoot up, a bald Chinese lady with no pants on, and there's this old guy outside who wants his bedroom slippers!
- Old Man: [banging on telephone booth] Get out of my house!
- Brenda: [kicks out a small box and the guy's slippers] You just moved!
- Chris: Hi. Um... My name is Chris Parker. I live in Oak Park. That's a suburb.
- Brad: They probably figured that out. Ha.
- Chris: This is Brad, Sara and Daryl. And we're in trouble.
- Daryl: Ain't no doubt.
- Chris: See, me and my boyfriend Mike, tonight's our anniversary. But then he went and cancelled. And now I'm stuck watching these three. And it's so hard...!
- Albert Collins: And it's so hard!
- Chris: Babysitting these guys.
- Band: She's got the...
- Chris: I got this call from Brenda. I went to pick her up. The tire had a blowout. And my mom's car got shot up.
- Sarah: And these guys started to chase us.
- Brad: And we all got hijacked. Ha!
- Daryl: We're cruising down the highway.
- Chris: In this big ol' Cadillac. And it's so hard!
- Albert Collins: And it's so hard!
- Chris: Babysitting these guys.
- Albert Collins: She got the babysitting blues.
- Band: Baby, baby. Babysitting blues.
- Chris: I've got the babysitting blues.
- Albert Collins: There's nights you swear you were born to lose. Like tonight. And you wish your feet were walking in someone else's shoes.
- Chris: Some guys are out to get us.
- Daryl: And Brenda's probably dead.
- Brad: We ain't got a nickel.
- Albert Collins: And they should be in bed! And you outta luck.
- Chris: I got enough watching these guys. I've got the babysitting blues.
- Sarah, Brad, Daryl: Baby, baby.
- Brad: [to Mike] You're such a loser!
- [nearby Daryl sighs; remembering the incident with the street gang on the subway train earlier]
- Daryl: Here we go again.
- Brad: I can only dream about having somebody like Chris as a girlfriend, but you've got her, and you treat her like this?
- Mike: Don't waste your time, half pint. Her legs are locked together at the knee.
- Brad: [grabs him by the collar] I'd love to hit you. I'd love to pound on your face!
- Mike: [taunting] Yeah? Go ahead.
- Brad: But I won't. You're so slimy, I won't sink to your level.
- Daryl: I will.
- [Daryl kicks Mike]
- Brad: [to Joe Gipp] Sir. Would you please take us to the next corner, and drop us off?
- Joe Gipp: [chuckling] In this neighborhood? Hey, I wouldn't even get out of the car in this neighborhood.
- Brad: Could you drop us off at the nearest mall?
- Joe Gipp: A mall? Where y'all think we're at, Boise, Idaho? Shooo!
- Daryl: The chick is losing it.
- Chris: I am not!
- Sarah: [to Daryl and Brad] You guys want some candy?
- [Brad takes the chocolate bar from Sara. Chris turns and knocks the candy bar from his hands]
- Chris: Brad, no chocolate! Your acne! Sara. It is time for your cough syrup. Daryl, fasten the seat belt!
- Sarah: She's definitely losing it.
- Chris: I am not losing anything, I am still in control here! Got it?
- Sarah: Hey, wait! I know why you aren't acting like yourself. You don't have your special helmet!
- [off the look Dawson gives her]
- Sarah: See you have the baseball cap, but you're supposed to be wearing this
- [takes off her Thor helmet]
- Sarah: Here, take mine. Go on, take it!
- Dawson: You're giving this to me?
- Sarah: Well, yeah, you're my hero!
- Dawson: [Smiles] Here. Here, take the car.
- [Tosses Chris the keys]
- Sarah: Thanks, Thor.
- Dawson: Hey kid! I got one of these at home
- [throws Sarah's helmet back]
- Chris: Could I get your address so I can mail you the five dollars?
- Dawson: Go!
- [the group piles into the station wagon and pulls out of the Garage]
- Dr. Nuhkbane: There you are, one stitch, all better.
- Brad: One stitch?
- Dr. Nuhkbane: Oh, yes, one stitch.
- Brad: My only shot at ever being in a gang fight and all I get is one stitch? Chris is gonna think I'm a total failure!
- Janitor #1: Put the animal down.
- Brenda: Why?
- Janitor #2: We gotta kill it!
- Brenda: [shocked] What? You monsters! Why would you want to kill a poor defenseless little kitten?
- Janitor #2: Kitten?
- [both janitors start laughing loudly]
- Janitor #1: This ain't no kitten, kid.
- Janitor #2: That's a jumbo-sized sewer rat!
- [camera goes down to see that they are right, and Brenda screams hysterically]
- Dan Lynch: [two drunk guys approach Chris asking her to sign their copy of Playboy because she bears a striking resemblance to Miss March aka Chaylene] ... Shes not Chaylene. Think about it... Do you honestly think a Playboy centerfold would have nothing better to do on a night like this than show up at a Kappa party with a bunch of kids?
- Drunk at Party: ...Yea.
- Dan Lynch: Where is your brain?
- Chris: Brad? Sarah? That's not your parents' car is it?
- Sarah: Yes it is!
- Brad: Oh my God it is!
- Daryl: What are we going to do?
- Chris: Everybody duck!
- [the kids duck down and drive past the Andersons]
- Mrs. Anderson: Look at that lunatic! You know, Brad and Sarah are going to be driving in a couple of years and they'll be sharing the road with people like that.
- Chris: Brad, how fast do your parents drive?
- Brad: I don't know... forty-five?
- Chris: We'll go eighty.
- [Accelerates]
- College Girl: I'm so lonely!
- Daryl: How could a righteous babe like you be lonely?
- College Girl: That's the sweetest thing anybody's ever said to me!
- Daryl: Really?
- College Girl: Wanna go to bed?
- Daryl: Don't touch it! It could get infected, Jesus! He could get anything - Tetanus, rabies, scabies, emphysema!
- Nurse: Dr. Nuhkbane, the guy with the stab wounds just died.
- Dr. Nuhkbane: Oh dear.
- Chris: Oh, Doctor, we're looking for our friend.
- Dr. Nuhkbane: Your friend? Which one is he?
- Chris: Um, he's the one with the stab wounds.
- Dr. Nuhkbane: Oh dear.
- Chris: What?
- Dr. Nuhkbane: I'm sorry. Your friend is dead.
- Sarah: Dead?
- Daryl: Dead?
- Chris: Dead?
- [Chris faints]
- Chris: What do you want?
- John Pruitt: I just want to help you.
- Daryl: Don't listen to him, he just wants to scrape our faces off.
- John Pruitt: [referring to the hook on his right hand] What? You scared of this?
- [laughs]
- John Pruitt: You kids must be from the suburbs!
- Mrs. Parker: That was Mrs. Anderson, she wants to know if you can babysit tonight.
- Chris: [sees the look Brenda gives her] No, tell her I can't.
- Mrs. Parker: Why not?
- Chris: Because I want to sit at home and be depressed.
- Brenda: Oh, sit for the Andersons, that'll depress anyone.
- Chris: Mom, I'm too old to babysit.
- Chris: Babysitting blues.
- Sarah, Brad, Daryl: Baby, baby.
- Chris: Babysitting blues.
- Albert Collins: Now, there're nights
- Chris: You swear you were born to lose. Yeah!
- Albert Collins: Like tonight.
- Chris, Albert Collins: And you wish your feet were walking in someone else's shoes.
- Albert Collins: Some guys are out to get them. And the girls's probably dead. She ain't got a nickel.
- Sarah, Brad, Daryl: And we should be in bed!
- Albert Collins: You're outta luck.
- Chris: I got enough watching these guys. I've got the babysitting blues.
- Everybody: Baby, baby.
- Chris: Babysitting blues.
- Everybody: Baby, baby.
- Chris: Babysitting blues.
- John Pruitt: [opens the glove compartment] Look out, kids.
- Daryl: [covers his eyes] Oh, God!
- [inside the glove compartment, Pruitt uses his right hook to pull out a large revolver]
- Daryl: [still covering his eyes] Is it a hand?
- Brad: No.
- Daryl: [uncovers his eyes] Oh, good.
- Brad: It's a gun.
- Daryl: [covers his eyes again] Oh, God!
- Daryl: What are you doing? I'm trying to get a date, you're cramping my style!
- Chris: She's too old for you.
- Teenage Runaway: Oh, and you're not.
- Chris: Well I'm his babysitter.
- Teenage Runaway: How old are you?
- Chris: 17.
- Teenage Runaway: Me too.
- Chris: You're 17? What are you doing on the street?
- Teenage Runaway: I ran away from home.
- Chris: [remembering why they came into the city in the first place] BRENDA!
- Chris: He's with Sesame Plexer! Oooh! She's such a sleeze!
- Daryl: He dumps you for some easy chick, and you get a night of hell. That doesn't seem very fair to me.
- Chris: Excuse me, I'll be right back.
- Daryl: This, I gotta see.
- Mike: You know, Ses. Girls like you come along once in a lifetime.
- Chris: Or twice in one night.
- Mike: Oh wow.
- Chris: How's your sister? Is she all better? You lied.
- Mike: No, I didn't!
- Chris: [Yelling] Don't lie!
- Mike: Get a grip! Jesus!
- Daryl: Mike what?
- Chris: Mike what what?
- Daryl: Mike what what what are we talking about? What's his last name?
- Chris: Toddwell. Are you writing a book?
- Daryl: Mike Toddwell? Do you know him?
- Brad: They go out.
- Daryl: He's got a red Camaro, right?
- Chris: Oh, gee, Daryl, are you a gear head and a sex fiend? Anyway, a lot of people have Camaros.
- Daryl: Yeah, but do a lot of people have the license plate "So Cool"?
- Chris: That's Mike.
- Daryl: He's the guy who beat me up last summer for touching his car, which I didn't do.
- Brad: That was him?
- Daryl: That was him!
- Chris: Mike wouldn't do that.
- Daryl: Yes, he would!
- Chris: He would not.
- Daryl: Yes, he would. He did. He kicked my ass. Wanna see the footprint?
- Chris, Brad, Sarah: NO!
- Dawson: [voice-over] Dawson to Pruitt! Come in!
- John Pruitt: [into his CB radio] Yo! Pruitt here.
- Dawson: [voice] Dawson here.
- John Pruitt: Go ahead.
- Dawson: [voice] I just went by your place.
- John Pruitt: And what did you see?
- Dawson: [voice] You won't like it.
- John Pruitt: [loud and firm tone] WHAT DID YOU SEE?
- Dawson: [voice] That car was parked out in front.
- John Pruitt: [hangs up the CB as he accelerates on the gas peddle] Jesus! My wife's with the bastard again!
- Daryl: Uh... Mr. Pruitt? How did you... you know... loose it?
- John Pruitt: Loose what?
- Daryl: Your hand. Your right hand. Was it in Nam?
- John Pruitt: No, nothing like that. A few years ago I was changing tires on a big rig and the jack gave out. The truck's bumper landed here on my right hand and popped it. Just zipped it right off.
- Daryl: What did they do with the hand? Did they bury it?
- John Pruitt: Nah, I wouldn't let them. I kept it.
- Daryl: You kept it?
- John Pruitt: Yep. I got it right there in the glove compartment.