Femme de choc

I saw this on television once sometime on the late 1980s (I don't think the movie had been in theaters more than two or three years before). I liked it but haven't thought anything about it since. WILDCATS came on television this morning, and I started watching it to kill time before getting hooked on the goofy but likeable story. It is really a funny, cute movie.

First, let me say I am not a fan of football movies; however, I have enjoyed movies such as THE LONGEST YARD, NORTH DALLAS FORTY and AGAINST ALL ODDS (to name a few) where an interesting story and characters add life to an otherwise "sports film." Yes the football scenes are fun to watch, but what makes the movie truly watchable is the feeling Goldie adds to her character (like in PRIVATE BENJAMIN) plus the developing struggle between her ex-husband concerning her new career and raising of her children. Its predictable in many ways, but hey, it was nice to watch a movie that made me feel happy for a change (rather than depressed or confused as so many contemporary movies seem to do).

The trailer for "Wildcats" showed 3 ghetto-riffic cheerleaders stomping around a pile of dirt and chanting, "U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi, you UGLY! What-what! Yo' mama says you ugly!"

Okay, you got me. I'm there.

Ha-ha low-brow highlights include--

* Goldie Hawn's purple-headed teenage daughter gets sloshed at a team party. Wesley Snipes comes to the rescue: "We're taking you home. If your mother sees you like this she's gonna' turn your ass the same color as your hair" Funny, rite?

* Goldie's team kidnaps the rival school's mascot, a goat. When principal Nipsey Russell invades the locker room and asks, "You all wouldn't happen to know what happen to the Cougar's goat, would you?" The goat, hidden in a locker, starts to baaaaah, which prompts Goldie to simultaneously reply "Naaaaah!" See? Hysterical!

Fans of Jan Hooks (like me) will love her turn here as the uppitty stick-up-the-butt wife of Goldie's ex. Fans of Woody Harrelson should note that a brief cameo is made here by his bare butt. Fans of Swoosie Kurtz should contemplate bathing with downed powerlines. Just kiddin', she's good too.

TEN! 1 point for the fat guy, 1 point for flatulence, 1 point for LL Cool J's lamest rap ever. The rest of the points go to Goldie. Goldie rocks.

Love, your pussies

If you folks remember that John Wayne/Donna Reed film Trouble Along The Way, Wayne is a divorced father living with his little daughter Sherry Jackson who has learned all about sports especially football from her dad who was a football coach. Imagine Sherry growing up to be Goldie Hawn and you have an idea of her character in Wildcats.

She wants to invade the male preserve of the boys sports because she knows a lot about the game, it comes naturally from her dad. But it isn't that simple and the only job she can get is in Principal Nipsey Russell's inner city school a really rough place.

Some future big names like Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson are some of Goldie's players. Best however is Tab Thacker one mountain of a kid critical to defense, but Thacker requires special motivation.

She also has custody issues with her most uptight ex-husband James Keach and his extremely prissy wife Jan Hooks. Those kids from her team try to help, but mess things up.

This one is really Goldie's show she has a fine comedy part with a bit of family drama thrown in. Basically because she has invaded that male holy of holys, the boy's locker room.

It's a good comedy, Goldie Hawn really shines.

It may not score many points for originality, but this comedy is still tremendously entertaining and one of my personal favorites from the 1980s. Plenty of memorably funny moments, some great one-liners and excellent performances by the entire cast, with Goldie doing a stand-out job and Nipsey Russell making the most of his relatively small role as the beleaguered high school principal who desperately wants gridiron glory for his school's team. Veteran director Michael Ritchie definitely knows how to perk up a formula story and make it seem lively and new again, even if we DO see the feel-good finale coming a mile away.

Stay tuned through the end credits for a funny rap song performed by Goldie and her team.

This is a great little (even, gosh, subtle) football comedy about grabbing life with both hands, featuring Goldie Hawn as a woman coach who wants to make a splash as a high school football coach. One of the joys of watching these movies is the retro experience of 80s 'big hair' hairdos and fashions, and seeing now famous actors. There's Wesley Snipes (as the ladies man with an eye for the 'older woman', Woody Harrelson, a thin LL Cool J, Mikelti Williamson (The Night Hawk), and Stan Foster (Tour Of Duty). And in fact, some of the jokes actually work (Hawn: "we're going beat those Cougars and spit them out like so many furballs". Snipes: "Let's eat some pussy".) Fun for all.