Aerobic Killer

Note: also released under the title Killer Workout.

What an absolute masterpiece of So Bad It's Good filmmaking. Nothing makes sense. The acting is atrocious. The breasts are gratuitous. The main cop doesn't say a word for ages, then when he opens his mouth and you hear his ridiculous voice, you realise why. There's a fight scene that's like a cross between the ones in They Live (1988) and Hobgoblins (1988). I mean…

It's a slasher film. It's set in a gym. It was made in 1987. I don't want to spoil it by saying anything else.

Verdict: Track it down, order a pizza, and enjoy.

Set in Rhonda's Work-out, an L.A. aerobics gym where the only the gorgeous are welcome (well, with the exception of a token fatty on an exercise bike, presumably there for the hard-bodies to make fun of), Aerobicide sees a killer hacking through the establishment's clientèle with a giant safety pin (!). Meanwhile, police detective Lt. Morgan (David James Campbell) and private investigator Chuck Dawson (Ted Prior) attempt to uncover the identity of the murderer, and gym owner Rhonda Johnson (Marcia Karr) tries to prevent her customers from cancelling their memberships.

As a slasher film, Aerobicide is a complete failure, devoid of scares, tension, or decent kills (there's very little in the way of gore); however, as an opportunity to ogle hot 80s women flaunting their flawless, toned bodies in skimpy lycra outfits, it can't be beat.

With the 'horror' regularly punctuated by cheesy 80s dance routines, fans of the female form are guaranteed plenty to enjoy: shapely butt's gyrate, groins thrust, and big breasts jiggle to a hi-energy disco soundtrack, and additional titillation comes in the form of a nekkid bird who gets grilled like a cheese toastie in a sun bed, tasty Teresa Van der Woude whipping her top off during a dream sequence, a victim being killed whilst taking a shower, and buxom Dianne Copeland flashing her ample charms in a bikini that is quite clearly struggling to contain such a well developed physique.

Fans of trashy 80s nonsense should also get a kick out of an unbelievably hideous gold and black outfit worn by Rhonda, a couple of ridiculous punch-ups between the gym's beefcake male instructors, one of horror cinema's silliest jump scares in the shape of a spring-loaded rubber arm (which pops out a locker not once, but twice), and a seriously unconvincing wig (to explain more would be to spoil the film, but you'll know what I'm talking about when you see it).

If you've watched and enjoyed similarly themed slashers Death Spa and Murderock, then this voyeuristic piece of low-brow entertainment from the days when big hair and leg-warmers ruled the world will no doubt also hit the spot.

Best described as a cross between a splatter movie and a CHER fitness video (!), AEROBICIDE (as it's known in the UK) tells the tale of a psychopathic nut that is killing the members of a fitness class one by one with a giant safety pin! (But that's where the originality ends believe me!)

The plot opens with a gruesome accident, which is possibly the flick's only highlight. A young girl is tanning in a sun bed, when all of a sudden it malfunctions and locks together, causing the hapless and unsuspecting victim to get, well just a little bit over tanned! Sadly from here the plot goes downhill drastically!

We are now introduced to Rhonda (Marcia Karr) the grumpy owner of a gym and a group of happy go lucky fitness fanatics who 'work out' to music that words can barely describe. I suppose you could call it a mix of eighties bubble gum pop with a large helping of mature cheddar cheese, but to be honest i dont think this music has got a genre of it's own. It's a new style! Check these lyrics out for instance: "She's a knockout, you better watch out, She'll take you out"... Hardly Leiber and Stoller is it! Anyway back to the aerobics class who manage to stay smiling and working out throughout the whole film, even after 11 bodies have been found mutilated in their gym! I honestly thought that even if only one person got murdered in a public leisure centre the police would close it down to investigate, but certainly not at this one! While the coroner raps the corpses in body bags, the class boogies away without a care in the world or even the slightest mention of the recent brutal murders! What a brave bunch!

Now I know it's customary in a slasher movie to show the odd bit of T&A, but KILLER WORKOUT manages to completely pad the film full of it! There must be twenty or more female characters in the film and I can't remember any of them except for one wearing any more than a leotard! And they even try to justify this by an insane twist in the story! Director Prior does his best to keep a bit of cleavage in every shot including most of the murder scenes.

It does not take long for the unseen killer to get hastily back to work, armed with a giant safety pin! At least they thought of an original weapon, even though a pin is hardly the most terrifying thing in the world! One thing this movie does have going for it is a massive bodycount, 13 to be exact; but even if a hundred people got killed I dont think that this could be any better. I'm afraid KILLER WORKOUT is a real wet turkey! The acting is terrible as you might imagine, and the whole thing can't help but feel rushed and put together with minimal thought.

Another great 'cheese point' of the flick comes in one or two fist fights that are down right hilarious. In one of them private investigator 'Chuck Dawson' (Ted Prior) and another goon 'Jim Callick' (Fritz Matthews) scrap it out for a couple of minutes , non stop punching each other flat out in the face! When the brawl ends, neither of them is even slightly marked! Maybe they're cyborgs! Another classic is the second murder scene. A girl in the shower gets repeatedly stabbed by the giant safety pin, Michael Myers style. As the camera reels away to show us the victim dying, she hasn't got a scratch on her either...it's unbelievable! You are just spoilt for cheesy moments in this film; check out the bit where one of the aerobics girls takes Chuck back to her house. She tells him to wait outside while she gets changed. He makes a ten second phone call and then she reappears completely changed! Even Superman's phonebox fanatics would have a job to beat that!

KILLER WORKOUT is a bad movie. It was obviously made on the smallest budget imaginable, which is probably why it's so terrible. But I must admit it brought a smile to my face on a few occasions! Depending on how you take your eighties horror movies KILLER WORKOUT could be the gem you're looking for. It's certainly big on laughs (not to mention hair!) But those of you who truly watch horror films to be scared will end up disappointed!

If you're a slasher fan, forget the bad reviews for Killer Workout, or Aerobicide as I know it. It's an amazingly entertaining and cheesy slasher flick that can't be taken all that seriously. It has everything - cheesy 80's rock music, tons of breasts, women in skimpy outfits, twist endings and ridiculous death scenes. The only thing that disappointed me was the gore - the deaths have blood but aren't very gory. The killer uses some sort of large safety pin to kill people with, which is an original but not very convincing method. The film also manages to squeeze in some samurai fight scenes, which are funny to watch. The twists are also very good and keep you guessing until the end. There's even the typical 'sequel friendly' ending.

If you love cheesy slasher films, add this to your collection immediately! It's great fun and while it doesn't deliver scares or gore, it delivers plenty of laughs. It's not that expensive to buy on DVD either. If you liked this you might also want to check out Fatal Games and Death Spa, which have similar themes to Killer Workout and are entertaining in their own ways.

Killer workout or Aero-bicide is a tale of a serial killer who preys on victims in a gym.It incorporates both inventive murders using an oversized safety pin and good looking sweaty bodies grooving to an intense 80s sound track.This movie is so damm bad it is great from the hardnosed detective who is so suspicious and unsympathetic it is truly shocking to the undercover private-eye who doles out beatings to angry gym members.The director truly new what he was doing with explicit shots of workouts after every death(you would have thought they would have shut the gym down but no).Overall it clearly is a must see movie with awfull acting,cliched characters and graphic workout shots,I applaud the maker of this film and just hope more people get the opportunity to see it.