Cocaine Wars

The title and accompanying art work don't hold out much promise but this is a competent piece of film-making with several touches which lift it ever so slightly above the mediocre. However, the material is too routine and predictable to have much impact and its lack of distinction may have helped put an end to John Schneider's movie career. This is unfortunate since Schneider had both youth and size at this point and could possibly have competed with Schwarzenegger, Van Damme, and Chuck Norris for leads in action movies. (Assuming he got a better haircut.)

Schneider plays a man at odds with a South American drug lord and in one scene Schneider is captured and tortured for information by the drug lord's henchmen. He's stripped of his shirt, thus allowing him to show off an impressive but not over-muscled physique, and bound spreadeagled-style. Here, as is common throughout the movie, there's a small but imaginative touch that elevates the otherwise unexceptional proceedings.

As expected, Schneider is forced to endure electroshocks since electricity is almost always the torture of choice in these movies. And, as expected, his pants are left on, thus putting off-limits, in a gentlemanly sort of way, the very parts of his body most vulnerable to electric shocks! This means the sadistic henchman with the cattle-prod restricts himself just to shocks above his victim's waist. (Yes, there's the usual close-up of the tip of the prod being held to one of Schneider's sweaty nipples.)

But the sequence ends with a distinctive flair. Black-gloved hands pry apart Schneider's lips and we see the prod being roughly inserted into his mouth. Now, sticking something into the mouth of a man you're trying to make "talk" may not be very logical, but it gives the scene a sexual connotation that is often missing in these sequences, and it imparts to even a jaded audience the sort of chill that makes them pause and think: "Now, that must REALLY hurt."

Kathryn Witt, the indispensable "girlfriend," makes the most of trite material.

"Cocaine Wars" is almost exactly what you want from a movie with that name from that year. It has over the top macho main character, hilarious performances and dialogue and schizophrenic editing. Is it bad? Absolutely! Is it entertaining? Yes, especially with a group of friends who understand what they're in for. Add to the mix some gorgeous nature and a bit of nice female nudity and you have yourself a treat if you like this sort of stuff. My only complaint is that the poster of the movie would make you think you will watch nonstop action with firearms, while in reality, our main character starts shooting only at the end of the movie.

All in all, if you know what to expect, "Cocaine Wars" can offer a nice entertaining afternoon before it fades from your memory and frankly, that's all it needed and wanted to accomplish in the first place. 6/10!

Hilariously awful Rambo knock-off has John Schneider, The Dukes of Hazzard's Bo Luke himself, as Miami DEA agent Cliff Adams, out to take down a South American drug kingpin. The story is completely ridiculous and involves Schneider's reporter girlfriend getting kidnapped in an attempt to blackmail Cliff into killing the president, but no one is really going to watch this movie because you actually thought it would be good, right? "Cocaine Wars" is an absolute 80s cheese fest in the best sort of way. Cheesy music, a cheesy star, and a cheesy ripped-from-the-headlines story about scary drugs. Produced by Roger Corman's New Horizons, that should be a major tip-off for that this would be a silly action flick (that or the fact that Rotten Tomatoes has no critic or audience score this movie because it's so low budget and/or so forgotten). Venerable Hollywood character actor Royal Dano does appear in the film, but the only reason to watch this film is for so-bad-it's-good 80s nostalgia purposes.

Fresh off "The Dukes of Hazzard", John Schneider is a bad ass agent in South America battling a cocaine lord. Back in the 80's, cocaine was big. Coming from South America, and a federal agent from Miami is out to stop the dope king. His partner is killed, and he wants to avenge him, and end the shipment from hitting the United States. This movie is low budget, but has plenty of action and intrigue. Some of the choreographs are cheesy, but it is not boring. If you like John Schneider as Bo Duke, then this is right up your alley. There's no sliding off the hoods of cars though. A rainy day type of thing here. 2 out of 5 stars.

Drugs, sex, violence , bad acting, couple guys clearly have their voices dubbed, nice little car chase with a hilarious outcome... just watched it, it's a great way to burn 90 mins