- Billy MacGregor: [His signature line, every time he enters the IHP room] ... *Good morning, Geniuses!*
- Eric Mardian: [in response to Viki trying to find her birth mother] We're here to help you babe. We're looking for a tall blonde, killer body, killer legs, killer smile, a little spacey, but hot.
- [as Miss Meara Walks in the classroom]
- Eric Mardian: Mom!
- Sarah Nevins: [practicing her greeting before T.J. Walks in] Hi, T.J. Glad to see you. Welcome T.J., I'm Here to Help. Hey T.J. What it is!
- T.J. Jones: Same song, Second Verse. Miss Meara got this thing about my attitude. Wants me to turn into miss peppy pants like you.
- Sarah Nevins: You know T.J., I bet we have a lot more in common than you think.
- T.J. Jones: Like what, beside we're both breathing.
- Sarah Nevins: Well, I like movies.
- T.J. Jones: Too long, I watch TV.
- Sarah Nevins: I love a nice, juicy Hamburger.
- T.J. Jones: Hot Dogs are better
- Sarah Nevins: A summer day
- T.J. Jones: Too hot, Spring.
- Sarah Nevins: [Arguing] Magic Johnson
- T.J. Jones: Michael Jordan
- Sarah Nevins: Alice Walker
- T.J. Jones: Langston Hughes
- Sarah Nevins: Janet Jackson
- T.J. Jones: Latoya
- Sarah Nevins: Wait a Minute, I heard something!
- T.J. Jones: Huh?
- Sarah Nevins: I heard you say Langston Hughes. He's a poet, you read poetry.
- T.J. Jones: So what! Just because I'm in the boneheaded class doesn't mean I don't read or write.
- Sarah Nevins: You write poetry too?
- T.J. Jones: I didn't say that!
- Sarah Nevins: You didn't deny it! Come on T.J. read me something of yours.
- T.J. Jones: You don't read it baby, you rap it!
- Sarah Nevins: So rap it!
- Charles P. 'Charlie' Moore: [as other girls approch Eric about Peer Counseling while talking to him and Simone] What's Happening Eric?
- Eric Mardian: Oh, It's peer counseling Mr. Moore. I didn't know that there are a lot of needy girls out there.
- Simone Foster: [alarmed by Eric's Peer Counseling schedule] Eric, do you still want to go out with me Saturday Night? Maybe you'll be too busy "Helping the needy".
- Eric Mardian: Simone, I'm like a Doctor. I'm doing some very important work here.
- Charles P. 'Charlie' Moore: Someone should phone the Nobel Prize committee.
- T.J. Jones: [Reacting to hearing Billy sending his guests to the roof] Um, Billy, you want us to go onto the roof? Great party, but I could have done this at home!
- T.J. Jones: [before T.J. starts her rap] You really want to hear this?
- Sarah Nevins: Yeah!
- T.J. Jones: [rapping] Ok, Girl in the streets, no clothes and no heat. A crazy outlook, a torn up book, but she can compete. Girl on fire with her desire seeing stars there and bars there. Should go much higher. That's enough!
- Sarah Nevins: T.J. what are you stopping for?
- T.J. Jones: What are you pretending to be intrested for?
- Sarah Nevins: I am intrested. You have something to say!
- T.J. Jones: No one cares what I have to say!
- Sarah Nevins: How do you know that?
- T.J. Jones: Because of where they put me. In the sit-down-and-shut-up class!
- Sarah Nevins: Remedial?
- Sarah Nevins: [catching up with T.J. in the hallway] Oh, T.J. I have been looking for you.
- T.J. Jones: Yeah,well Thanks for nothing, man. That action in your class today was a total disaster. You really know how to make a person feel like sludge
- Sarah Nevins: [angrily] Wait a minute! T.J., I thought it would be nice for you. You know you were welcome to stay for the whole class.
- T.J. Jones: Well, isn't that a dream come true. Sit in a nice, clean desk with no dirty words carved in it, everyone dressed like it was Easter Sunday, and a teacher who treats you better than your own mama. And a hour later, I get sent back to the real world and that's the last I see of Disneyland!
- Sarah Nevins: But that's not the way I meant it to be. You know you could be in a better class. You could be in I.H.P.
- T.J. Jones: Yeah, and Dr. Samuels could be Mr. Universe!
- Sarah Nevins: You know, you may have the personality of a Pit Bull, but one thing you are is intelligent, and I thought I could help you do something with that, and I'm sorry if I went about all wrong.
- T.J. Jones: Ok, well I'm sorry for making you feel like a mush-brain dweeb in front of your whole class!
- Sarah Nevins: Wait a minute! All right! Apology accepted! Friends?
- [Dennis arrives to the christmas party dressed as Santa after collecting donations]
- Dennis Blunden: I was making a fortune on 106th street. The suit makes all the difference.
- Jasper Kwong: That's really low Dennis.
- Eric Mardian: Yeah, I'll say. Somewhere there is a naked fat guy with a bell and bucket.
- Dennis Blunden: If you don't believe me I won an award. Take a look at this.
- [Dennis hands Darlene the award paper]
- Darlene Merriman: [reading the award statement surprised] This is in recongition of Dennis Blunden's work through the "Christmas for Kids" program.
- Dennis Blunden: [after the class has made up each other's futures] Yeah, look at me. I've married and divorced every female in this class except...
- Janice Lazarotto: [Janice quickly runs to Dennis and holds her hand up to his face] Don't... even... JOKE... about it!