Cold Dog Soup

Cold Dog Soup is a cult-film minus a cult; a film that should have a legion of devoted fans behind it, justifying its quirkiness and affirming its quality - even if in a "so bad, it's good" manner. Instead, the film has fallen so deeply under the radar that it doesn't even register a ping on the comedy or comedy noir scale. It is a strange, understandably forgotten film bearing some of the damnedest characters and string of events I have seen portrayed on film for quite sometime.

The film stars Frank Whaley, Christine Harnos, and Randy Quaid, three actors bearing completely different reputations and acting styles that only further make the film diverse and unique. Whaley stars as Michael, an ambitious young stockbroker who, one day, meets Sarah (Christine Harnos), a young woman with a beautiful aura around her and bright, cherry-red lipstick. Michael can't believe his luck when Sarah asks him over to dinner, where she promises him if all goes well, he'll get to see her "pressure cooker," as she puts it.

When Michael arrives at Sarah's home for dinner, he is alarmed to see her eccentric mother, and Sarah's demanding dog, who begs to be fed anchovy olives. After eating one too many olives, Sarah's dog winds up croaking on-sight, leaving the three with a serious predicament. When Sarah's mom proposes Michael bury the dog in the park, Michael can't say no, so winds up catching a ride from the offbeat and beyond strange taxi driver named Jack Cloud (Randy Quaid), who takes him on a crazy joy ride that involves trying to sell Sarah's dog's corpse to different people.

Let's start where one should when reviewing Cold Dog Soup and that is with Randy Quaid's enigmatic cab driver character. From the first time he sets foot on frame to the final time we see him, Quaid plays one of the most difficult to define people he has ever played on film. He's the kind of character that may or may not represent something bigger or something more philosophical than just a weird, deranged cab driver, but it's hard to tell since the film only occasionally wants to take him seriously. For example, his character of Jack Cloud speaks in Zen-like riddles that you're never supposed to really figure out and are just the kind of thing that tease your brain enough to get the blood flowing. In one scene, Jack asks Michael, "If time is money, and money is the root of all evil, is time the root of all evil?" before following the thought up with, "If time heals all wounds, does money wound all heels? And if time waits for no one, who does the root of all evil wait for?" These thoughtful musings on life provide for at least some offbeat, contemplative drama in the face of a film that feels like its main goal, above everything, was to be an odd, nineties film relic that few would go on to seek out. It's admirable to see an assured and diverse actor like Frank Whaley approaching the material with such conviction and a willingness to be a victim in almost every scene. Because of writer Thomas Pope's style, structuring the film in a style reminiscent of a skit-show or a collection of comedic vignettes, it feels as though Whaley and Quaid are partaking in a seriously involved improvisation session that just gets more bizarre with each turn, and the event organizers are refusing to cease the madness.

That being said, there's part of me that can't dismiss Cold Dog Soup for its asinine nature and its committed performances by two very strong actors. However, there's another part of me that grew very weary at its meager eighty-five minute runtime and found myself exhausted by its haphazardly-constructed events by the middle of the second act. There's an audience that will embrace this film and want to watch it on repeat. There's another audience who will struggle to finish it, or stop it midway through, and never want to think about it again. You can find me where you most often do on this one - in the middle.

Starring: Randy Quaid, Frank Whlaey, and Catherine Harnos. Directed by: Alan Metter.

It's interesting that some people here speculated that the ratings on this movie were the subject of a "hit job," because the history of the movie is tragic. Here's how it was explained in BILLBOARD in 2001:

A judge threw out George Harrison's bid to keep his former business manager and partner Denis O' Brien from declaring bankruptcy. Harrison had just had lung cancer surgery and his lawyer told a judge in St. Louis he was too ill to testify. The judge didn't buy it. Of course, Harrison later died from lung cancer, but at the time, the judge said that his failure to appear was "obviously willful."

Harrison had already won an 11 million dollar judgment against O'Brien. Of course, declaring bankruptcy is a common thing - to avoid paying such judgments.

Losses on the film "Cold Dog Soup" prompted Harrison to sue O'Brien.

I was so incredibly lucky years ago when I was home one weekday morning and saw this on the USA channel. The low rating is definitely a hit job. (Hundreds of people type in low scores for an obscure, little-seen film that other people consider superb, delightful, refreshing?) As the hero's quest goes on, there may have been some longeurs, but the wild and wacky original humor of this movie makes this a small classic.

Everyone with taste and insight loves Frank Whaley and he is at his Frank Whaley-ist here: vulnerable and funny, tender and oppressed, buffeted by forces he cannot control.

The characterization of the girlfriend is bizarre, to say the least--for reasons you'll have to watch the film to see. And the film also reminds us that the late Sheree North was a delightful comedienne, not just a onetime starlet.

This is perhaps the best, most worthwhile comedy that almost nobody has ever seen. If MTV can show a crappy movie like "Rolling Kansas" over and over and over, why can't they show this?

Cold Dog Soup is a somewhat dark and twisting comedy which follows a smart young man, a smarter young woman, a dead dog called Jasper, and a maniac taxi driver through a city at night.

The driver Jack Cloud (Quaid) is our fantastical guide to a warped underworld as he drives us from Chinese restaurants to Voodoo rituals, dead dog in tow.

Definitely worth watching on a damp day. You'll be surprised how valuable a canine cadaver can be.

Randy Quaid (National Lampoon's Cousin Eddie from 1986's XMas Vacation) steals this absurd, obscure (unless you get IFC) and priceless indie as the out-of-your-nightmare cab driver, Jack Cloud. Frank, the innocent, hooks up with the one-gloved wonder,Christine, for what seems on the surface to be an innocent date. Keep your eyes and ears open as the date falls apart faster than a 2 week floater in the Ohio River! Christine's dog, Jasper, chokes on an anchovy-stuffed olive and plays the death scene to the hilt. Then the fun begins! Madame Chang (Nancy Kwan) eloquently clues us in to the meaning of the movie title; but as all the performances defy description, just watch it and enjoy the ride!

Quaid's "Time Flies" monologue is forever quotable - The scripting is beautiful, location shots just too much fun - well, you can watch this again and again and never catch all the detail. Kudos to Alan Metter, Thomas Pope and the originator - Stephen Dobyns for a fab book from which to begin.