Sinbad

This film begins with a mother reading a bedtime story to her young daughter about the adventures of a brave sailor named "Sinbad" (played by Lou Ferrigno). As the story goes, Sinbad and his shipmates are bringing "Prince Ali" (Roland Wybenga) to Basra so that he can marry "Princess Alina" (Alessandra Martines). However, just before they get there the evil sorcerer "Jaffar" (John Steiner) decides to overthrow the "Caliph of Basra" (Donald Hodson) by casting an evil spell which creates chaos and destruction upon the city thereby leaving him in total control. To that extent, upon their arrival there Sinbad and his crew are barely able to escape with their lives and upon doing so they immediately set sail in a effort to recover the four sacred gems of Basra which they will need to help rectify the situation. Now rather than reveal any more. I will just say that this film had a good storyline but it was completely ruined by the simplistic format, incompetent direction, imbecilic script, and some really horrendous acting. Likewise, having Lou Ferrigno so badly miscast in the lead role certainly didn't help matters. Admittedly, it did have several beautiful actresses like Melonee Rodgers (as the Amazon Queen "Farida"), Stefania Girolami ("Kyra"), Teagan Clive ("Soukra") and the aforementioned Alessandra Martines. Yet despite that fact it wasn't enough to significantly affect the overall picture. It was just that bad.

I have not seen such BAD acting ever before in my life and that includes high school production plays! This movie breaks all records in casting such a number of bad actors in one film. The plot was swiss cheese holey. The budget clearly went mostly in costumes and location, but not one centavo was spent on hiring a writer or an acting coach and the director of this turkey must have been indisposed! Lou Ferrigno tried to do his best impersonation of Arnold Schwarzenegger style one-liners but it quickly became apparent why he had no coherent lines in his series The Hulk! The character Jaffar was even worse, second only to the Viking and Greek cook and the mongoloid looking drawf side-kick. This movie was so bad, that it was a prime target for the cancelled show Mystery Science Theater. Too bad it was passed over. Overall, I feel privileged to have viewed this movie because I laughed repeatedly at how horrendous it was! A must see if equipped with a bottle of good chardonnay!

So the film would lead you to believe. Mr. Poe's actual story bears little to no similarities to this tale, but the fact that it opens with the claim that it is based on his story is just part of the inane fun that is SINBAD OF THE SEVEN SEAS! This is a film so poorly written, acted, directed, and conceived, with horrible dubbing that it takes on an air of the absurd. If you are not laughing at the film at some point, you must not have a good sense of humor. Fun fact, the short story Edgar Allen Poe actually wrote, "The Thousand and Second Tale of Scheherazade," is an amusing story(far better than this movie) in which Scheherazade tells of Sinbad's last adventure in which real things from an outsiders perspective are described, but not believed by the King.

The Story: Sinbad returns home to find that the evil Jaffar has rested control of the kingdom with his sorcery and brought an age of darkness. Sinbad and his intrepid crew must find the four magic gems that will return peace to the land and save the princess.

Three out of ten stars for the film(I've sadly seen worse) and nine out of ten for unintentional humor.

An incredibly fun, incredibly bad movie. Definitely recommended for any fans of bad cinema, this movie has it all. Plastic props, horrendous dialogue, plot holes galore, sophomoric special effects. Lou Ferrigno (Hulk!) throws his sword away and wrestles with bad guys, in sloooooow motion action sequences that will have you yawning in anticipation. Hats off to John Steiner as the EVIL Jaffar-his hammy overacting steals every scene he's in. Listen especially for the scene where he's discussing his plans with the princess in the tower. Just when you think he's done, he lets out this uproarious "Ha!" that's so random, you won't know what hit you! I was laughing for minutes-then for hours afterward, just from remembering this one line. Definitely one of the highlights of modern cinema-see this movie! 2/10, both points for the awesome performance of Jaffar.

One of my favorite comedies, although it's not supposed to be one. So incredibly bad, it's amazing! Some of the stupidest dialogue ever, and some ridiculous fight scenes. Lou Ferrigno is a joy to watch, especially his hilarious facial expressions. Watch this movie with a bunch of friends, but do not drink milk while doing so, otherwise it'll come spewing out of your nose!