Sinbad

So the film would lead you to believe. Mr. Poe's actual story bears little to no similarities to this tale, but the fact that it opens with the claim that it is based on his story is just part of the inane fun that is SINBAD OF THE SEVEN SEAS! This is a film so poorly written, acted, directed, and conceived, with horrible dubbing that it takes on an air of the absurd. If you are not laughing at the film at some point, you must not have a good sense of humor. Fun fact, the short story Edgar Allen Poe actually wrote, "The Thousand and Second Tale of Scheherazade," is an amusing story(far better than this movie) in which Scheherazade tells of Sinbad's last adventure in which real things from an outsiders perspective are described, but not believed by the King.

The Story: Sinbad returns home to find that the evil Jaffar has rested control of the kingdom with his sorcery and brought an age of darkness. Sinbad and his intrepid crew must find the four magic gems that will return peace to the land and save the princess.

Three out of ten stars for the film(I've sadly seen worse) and nine out of ten for unintentional humor.

This film begins with a mother reading a bedtime story to her young daughter about the adventures of a brave sailor named "Sinbad" (played by Lou Ferrigno). As the story goes, Sinbad and his shipmates are bringing "Prince Ali" (Roland Wybenga) to Basra so that he can marry "Princess Alina" (Alessandra Martines). However, just before they get there the evil sorcerer "Jaffar" (John Steiner) decides to overthrow the "Caliph of Basra" (Donald Hodson) by casting an evil spell which creates chaos and destruction upon the city thereby leaving him in total control. To that extent, upon their arrival there Sinbad and his crew are barely able to escape with their lives and upon doing so they immediately set sail in a effort to recover the four sacred gems of Basra which they will need to help rectify the situation. Now rather than reveal any more. I will just say that this film had a good storyline but it was completely ruined by the simplistic format, incompetent direction, imbecilic script, and some really horrendous acting. Likewise, having Lou Ferrigno so badly miscast in the lead role certainly didn't help matters. Admittedly, it did have several beautiful actresses like Melonee Rodgers (as the Amazon Queen "Farida"), Stefania Girolami ("Kyra"), Teagan Clive ("Soukra") and the aforementioned Alessandra Martines. Yet despite that fact it wasn't enough to significantly affect the overall picture. It was just that bad.

I have not seen such BAD acting ever before in my life and that includes high school production plays! This movie breaks all records in casting such a number of bad actors in one film. The plot was swiss cheese holey. The budget clearly went mostly in costumes and location, but not one centavo was spent on hiring a writer or an acting coach and the director of this turkey must have been indisposed! Lou Ferrigno tried to do his best impersonation of Arnold Schwarzenegger style one-liners but it quickly became apparent why he had no coherent lines in his series The Hulk! The character Jaffar was even worse, second only to the Viking and Greek cook and the mongoloid looking drawf side-kick. This movie was so bad, that it was a prime target for the cancelled show Mystery Science Theater. Too bad it was passed over. Overall, I feel privileged to have viewed this movie because I laughed repeatedly at how horrendous it was! A must see if equipped with a bottle of good chardonnay!

Made in Spain with no sound equipment under a director who rewrote it as he filmed it, shelved for years due to being unusable, then one day roughly edited, badly dubbed, and poorly scored in an attempt to get something saleable and here we are.

Ever seen Sinbad portrayed as a heavily muscled superman in sparkly purple disco tights? Ever seen Jaffar portrayed as a cackling English villain in cahoots with a busty blonde in a scandalous leather one piece? Well now you can!

There's monsters, fighting, sexy ladies, animated effects, leather clad henchmen, slo-mo running, a 'Poochie the Dwarf' comic-relief who's neither funny nor a dwarf then disappears midway through the movie, more fighting, constant narration explaining what's going on, laughably poor music, magical zombie horses, and that guy off the hulk, I mean what's not to like, people!?

TV's Incredible Hulk, Lou Ferrigno's fourth in a series of Italian made sword and sandal flicks he starred in during the 1980s. Sinbad succeeded two Hercules films and one titled, The Seven Magnificent Gladiators. He reprised roles played by US musclemen, such as Steve Reeves and Gordon Scott, who worked for Italian studios in the early 60s making loads of sword and sandal flicks. In fact, Lou's efforts along with other flicks such as Conan, the Deathstalker series and Lee Horsley's Sword And The Sorcerer were part of an 80s' revival of the 60s' sword and sandal/sorcery genre.

This version of Sinbad was apparently intended for TV but never made it. Beefed up special effects grace this movie version. However, any Sinbad film has to be compared to the three gems made by Ray Harryhausen, the most successful of which was The Golden Voyage Of Sinbad in 1973. Ray's meticulously worked stop motion special effects leave those in Sinbad Of The Seven Seas standing, and that's the point; this film is so wooden. The plot calls for Sinbad to bring home some special stones so that his pal the Prince can marry his beloved Princess who is being held by an evil wizard (John Steiner). He sets sail with a crew that includes a Viking and a Samurai warrior and overcomes such adversities as a laser beam shooting monster and soldiers that rise from the dead. His last feat finds him wrestling himself . See this if you like Lou Ferrigno (he still looks great and has let his curly hair grow out Afro style) and/or sword and sandal pics - just don't expect to be riveted to your seat.