Robo Chic

For a movie night, my friends tried to pick one good movie (Amadeus), and one bad movie (this one).

And true to form, this film started out awful. One character had a long, rambling dialog that just went on and on.

We were about to end it, when one of us said "Hey! That's downtown!" And sure enough, downtown Colorado Springs, where we were living. For the rest of the movie, we were trying to outdo each other at naming where the scene was shot.

The "scientist" character was truly awful, and he unfortunately had most of the dialog. The other characters played it more campy, which made them more tolerable.

I've got a little confession to make. I'm one of the easiest-to-please movie goers out there. I liked BALLISTICS: ECKS VS. SEVER. I liked THE TUXIDO. I enjoyed MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE so much I saw it almost to the point of having it memorized. Hell, I was even entertained by JOHNNEY MENOMIC. So what does all this have to do with ROBO C.H.I.C.? (Or Cyber Chick or whatever) Just this: when I think a movie was hard to sit through and it's not some intellectual, artsy, slice-of-life film, you know it's BAD. Half of what makes it so painful to watch is the fact that the actress who plays the title character tries WAY too hard to act like an emotionless robot. (Maybe she should've just tried acting "normal", snicker.) The rest of the cast isn't much better, everyone tries to be funny and ends up just being annoying. Of course the film does try to be intentionally goofy, as a spoof of ROBO COP, it's just that it ends up being so in an irritating way instead of a genuinely funny, entertaining way. It's been years since I saw this so I can't remember much about the plot or so many of the things wrong with it, just the general way it made me felt. What's more, the only ways I would ever see this a second time was if someone stuck a gun to my head or eles offered me a minimum of a thousand dollars and I knew he was good to his word. AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE!

Oh man, if there is ever a worse movie made, then somebody is going to have to die. This movie was so bad, it gave me a week of that feeling when you want to rip somebody's heart out. This movie deserves to die. Die die die die die!!!!!! If you ever find this movie in stores, take it out back, and beat the crap out of it until it doesn't even resemble a video. Only Hobgoblins can compare to how bad this movie was for me to watch. I believe it was like sticking a knife into my soul, and twisting it a quarter rotation every other second, on the second. Yikes did it ever suck. It's too bad that Burt Ward were to ever be affiliated with this horrible movie. I liked Burt Ward as Robin. He was cool then. But not now.

This definitely takes the cake as the worst B-movie out there. As if someone made it over the weekend. I guess the ex-playmate does help, but I mean come on! Unless this is some tip-of-the-hat to pornographic cinematography, it's pointless! There were some jokes laden within the film that I laughed at, purely at the expense of the writers attempt at comic relief. Ya, and why is the movie called cyber-chic when the whole time in the movie she's called robo-chic? Whoops! Must have skipped that day in editing! The robo-car, here's another one that was hard to decipher as intentional, or just in line with the quality of film, a fiero with no hood or grill is supposed to be the modern marvel of robotic automobiles, Ha!

Was having a bad movie night with some folks when I got to see this little gem. Don't get me wrong, this is not a great movie, but it is a rare creature onto itself: a bad movie that's made with a sense of self-awareness of what it is and makes it work. Cyber-C. H. I. C. never takes itself seriously and, if you do, you're not watching it right.

It's silly, the dialog is ridiculous, the characters are over the top, and the acting is the perfect amount of stilted. Even the terrible "action" scenes (in which RoboCHIC casually shoves baddies) fits right in with the vibe of the movie. If you enjoy schlock like *Auntie Lee's Meat Pies* or *Attack of the 60ft. Centerfold*, you'll likely find Cyber-C. H. I. C. an entertaining couple of hours.