Ono

As I've said, I've only seen the last 10 minutes of this movie. I managed to record 5 of those minutes on video tape, after a frenzied dash to the vcr. This video tape is now one of my greatest treasures. I can't find this movie anywhere, no matter where or how hard I look - not online, not in video stores or specialist stores, not in libraries or anywhere else. Only in Knowhereland. Will I ever see this whole movie? Why am I so obsessed with 10 minutes of a movie I haven't seen? Funny and strange, I know. Those 10 minutes felt like a lifetime of off-the-scale filmmaking. The maddest 10 movie minutes without any need for gore or special effects. Total, unadulterated Art, capital A included because this truly was great Art. Those 10 little minutes alone felt like 3 or 4 full movies and 6 or 7 top Directors, all rolled into one crazy hyper-show. It was surreal, funny, heartbreaking, philosophical, happy, disturbing, spiritual, frightening, sad, scientific, insane, solemn and I'm running out of words to describe all the things those 10 measly minutes were. Now it's only 5 minutes, on ancient video tape. Woe is me. I will tell you nothing about the plot. I do know what the movie is about and its style of presentation, but it's better to seek the movie, like me - I hope you've better luck. I will tell you about the first 5 minutes I saw because I don't want to ruin the other 5 minutes - the ending, which is intense and overwhelming, in a freeing way. Oxymorons pepper this movie. If I was reading this, I'd leave at this point. Why ruin even just 5 minutes of a movie by knowing what happens in it? Regardless, I'll carry on because this clip withstands knowing it - you have to see it. I hope I remember this correctly, long time ago. I came in on a black and white scene of a man with bright white hair and thick rimmed, square glasses. He was walking around a bright but dusty and dilapidated building. He wore a boring-looking suit - bureaucrosy personified. He appeared like an awkward type of person, uncomfortable with life. But, he was a funny-looking guy and strangely likeable. As he walked on, a stage appeared out of the darkness. As he got closer to the stage, a guy dressed like a punk came from the shadows. He looked menacingly at the Bureaucrat and reached into his black leather jacket. Suddenly, he pulled out a microphone. He pointed the microphone at the Bureaucrat, in a threatening way, at first, then offered the Bureaucrat to take it, in a friendly way. The Bureaucrat declined. The punk looked angry, then sad, then defiant, then he started to sing. The song was a mad punky, riot-type song, a cry to the skies. The lyrics were rebellious, decrying the Soviet Union/Russia for had losing its old glories and becoming weak in the eyes of the world and to itself. It was a call to violent action. The Bureaucrat moved away from the stage, awkwardly, as the song got more impassioned and violent. On his way, he came across a group of punks, lounging against a wall. They motioned him to sit with them and made room for him, in the middle. He sat there awkwardly, and pretendied to like the music, as he tapped along and nodded his head. One pretty punk girl glared at him, momentarily, and then started to smile, a real smile, and then nod her head a bit, in rhythm with the Bureaucrat's nodding. Suddenly, the other punks in the group started to nod their heads. The Bureaucrat was freaked out, but they were smiling, happy smiles, so he kept nodding, and they kept nodding. Then, the punks raised their arms and wiggled their torsos. They seemed to be having fun, so the Bureaucrat joined in with them, with the wiggling. They all wiggled up onto their feet, laughing, standing in a circle, wiggling. Just as they started to break into a dance, it seemed like the walls behind them were pulsing. But, as the lights lowered, those pulses became disco lights, as the dance got crazier and crazier, and increasingly punky, with the Bureaucrat the maddest dancer of them all. The Bureaucrat flung his arms around, full of joy. Unfortunately, he noticed the time on his watch. Immediatey, his face was flooded with utter dread. His shoulders and arms and all of his full life and joy fell from him. Panic arose and a frenzy began. He pushed his way through the punks as they pleaded with him to stay. They started to grab him. He tried to pull away as it started to get a bit freaky. By the time he got to the door, the punks appeared like zombies or cannibals and it suddenly seemed like a horror movie. He tumbled out the door but came out of an underground rail station, walking up some steps. He looked out onto the busy streets - back in reality. Phew! The Bureaucrat brushed the dust from his boring suit. He jumped to action when he saw a bus at a bustop. He started running and flailing after it - an adsurdly funny run. As the bus pushed on from the bustop, he went totally mental, screaming and shouting and whistling. Finally, he raised his arm, defiantly, violently, and willed the bus to stop. 'The movie froze here on a freeze frame of the Bureaucrat, with his arm raised aggressively and a frightening look on his face. This then had an image superimposed on it. The image faded in to reveal the punk singer, on the stage, with the raised arm and violent fist and face - it was a perfect fit, face on face. Then, it cut back to the Bureaucrat. The movie started again. The Bureaucrat lowered his arm, shocked by and ashamed of his own violence. He lowered his arm and watched the bus leave. dejected. Suddenly, the tone of the movie changed completely from black and white to the sepia tint you get from old photographs - a pale orange brown. I can go no further - it'll give away the amazing ending. It truly is an ending of endings - the very best ending I've ever seen. The very best movie I've ever seen even though I've only seen 10 minutes of it! I can give no higher recommendation than the one I give to this movie. This movie is totally insane but also completely logical and sensible. If anyone knows where I can find this wondrous movie, please let me know. Thank you.

Loosely based on a satirical classic novel by the Russian author equal in importance to that of Jonathan Swift.

To the reviewer redmond69: I have the movie. Contact me at gmail (my nick is televizor1)

Saw this many years ago and enjoyed it. Like most Soviet-era films it's now on youtube. Have a nice visit to Glupov!