L'arme totale

By way of introduction, I should say up front that I have enjoyed all sorts of silly b-movies that Sybil Danning appeared in. And b-movies in general. Even the 'so bad they're good' ones, which can provide some admittedly snarky entertainment. I'm also certainly partial to those released in the 1980's. Hey, I own a LOT of Fred Olen Ray titles AND the 4k blu ray of Howling 2: Your Sister Is A Werewolf (fans of the b-movie genre will know what I'm getting at with those two references)!

Can't say as I found much of anything - even by way of cinematic cheese or Fool's Gold - to keep me engaged with L. A. Bounty, however.

I was all in for the first ten minutes or so. The flick opened up with a couple of laughably over-the-top scenes which set up the plot and the two main characters. So, I settled in for what I hoped would be a silly direct to home video late 1980's flick. I had no recollections of having seen this movie back in the day and figured with Danning and Wings Hauser in the cast it'd be good for a few giggles.

After the opening scenes, though, L. A. Bounty quickly ground to a halt.

From what has been reported about the movie in terms of a backstory, the genesis of L. A. Bounty began in 1984 when Danning and her then-manager came up with the idea of a film that would sort of copy the Charles Bronson/Dirty Harry template of a cop seeking vengeance, with Danning in the cop role. Basically, a vehicle for Danning to transition into roles that didn't involve her getting disrobed or emphasize her body, two features which were basically her calling cards in terms of movie roles up to that point. After 4 years in the idea stage and 18 months of stop and start production, L. A. Bounty emerged.

I suppose it may have been a fundamental mistake from the start for Danning to want to star in a movie that didn't involve her getting naked and relied on her acting. Mostly because, well, to be frank it wasn't her acting skills that made her a b-movie Queen in the first place. And L. A. Bounty with its $2 million USD budget was never going to be anything other than a b-movie.

However, that choice to keep Danning fully clothed didn't necessarily doom the movie from being entertaining. What needed to happen was shift the focus from the nudity to the stunts and violence. Sort of amp up the shootouts, car crashes, fights and gore.

Unfortunately, L. A. Bounty didn't do much by way of anything in terms of the action to offset Danning's choice to stay robed. A decent opening salvo and a decent last 5 minutes. In between were about 70 minutes stocked full of film flab. Lots of shots of Danning sitting around or walking around or driving around although not speaking much - she says maybe 50 words in the whole movie, in trying to keep with that Charles Bronson/Clint Eastwood dialogue minimalism - interspersed with other shots of other characters sitting around or walking around or driving around. The other characters unlike Danning DO have speaking lines, but the script is routine and uninteresting.

The concluding scenes, as I said, were okay but after 70 minutes of boredom the net effect of the ending didn't provide me with much other than a sense of relief as a viewer that the movie was over. Even at only an 85-minute running time, L. A. Bounty is a slog to get through.

About the only saving grace is the participation of Wings Hauser as the arch villain. He gets a scene in the beginning, a couple of scenes in the middle and one in the end. All of which he clearly enjoys hamming it up, going over the top in that inimitable Hauser way re: gleefully violently maniacal.

So, three out of ten stars for L. A. Bounty, solely for Wings Hauser. Like I said, I had enjoyed a lot of other things Danning and Hauser had done and own more than a few of their movies in my home collection. Thus, recently when I found out about L. A. Bounty, I was wondering why I hadn't heard about the title before. Like, how could I have missed THIS one? Well, I watched it and found out why. Not saying it's the worst cheaply made b-movie I've ever seen or anything along those lines, but just something that is by and large going through the motions in a lazy way.

This is the last film Sybil Danning made before "retiring" from the screen for about 18 years (and making a comeback now, in 2007). Starring, writing the story and co-producing, Sybil fashioned herself here as a female Charles Bronson - "the strong, silent type", as even another character calls her. The problem is that her character is such a blank that she isn't interesting - maybe a few one-liners and / or arrogant smiles would have helped. The other problem is that she relies almost exclusively on her guns and doesn't get to throw even a single punch. She does handle her weaponry in a very professional, serious-minded manner, but I, for one, was disappointed that she didn't have even one tiny fight. Wings Hauser tries very hard to make his villain eccentric, but his performance is only slightly less uninspired than the rest of the movie. The production is cheap and low-grade (though the stuntmen do a good job), and the big "twist" of the plot is ludicrous. (*1/2)

B movie sexpot Sybil Danning also gets story author and producer credit on this routine but competently handled little picture. She casts herself as Ruger, a strong / silent type who never talks much but is capable of effortlessly taking out the trash. Ruger is a tough ex-cop turned bounty hunter who gets involved when a mayoral candidate (episodic TV veteran Robert Hanley) is kidnapped. The mastermind is a jovial psychotic who is unsurprisingly played to the hilt by ever-reliable Wings Hauser.

Ruger is definitely a change of pace for Danning; the movie never even really tries to sexualize her character (if the viewer wants sex appeal, that's what actress Max Wasa ("House of Manson") and other female bit players are for). Danning manages to give one of her better - or at least more interesting - performances, and it's worth noting that she speaks a grand total of about 31 words in the story. But it's the villainy of the smiling Wings that is the main attraction. The movie is uninspired, for the most part, but certainly watchable; one of the best sequences happens at the end when Wings is throwing every distraction at Sybil that he can.

Worth Keeter ("Illicit Behavior") directs capably, and "L. A. Bounty" does have some pretty good action sequences. The cast of familiar faces also includes Lenore Kasdorf ("Missing in Action"), Henry Darrow ('The High Chaparral'), Blackie Dammett ("National Lampoon's Class Reunion"), Branscombe Richmond ("Hard to Kill"), Frank Doubleday ("Escape from New York"), Bob Minor ("Forced Vengeance"), and Robert "Count Yorga" Quarry.

Howard Leese of the band Heart is one of those credited with the score; the cinematography is by the legendary, prolific indie D. P. Gary Graver.

Excellent stunts, nasty violence, a high body count, and a solid pace add up to a fairly good time for B movie lovers.

Seven out of 10.

My review was written in May 1989 after a Cannes Film Festival Market screening.

Sybil Danning executes something of a self-parody in the lame action vehicle "L. A. Bounty", a minor title for video usage.

Also co-producing and providing the weak storyline, Danning portrays a macha bounty hunter patterned after Clint Eastwood's Man with No Name, including his trademark mannerisms and cheroots. There the resemblance ends.

She's after nemesis Wings Hauser, a wigged-out artist and drug kingpin with a price on his head. Hauser has mayoral candidate Robert Hanley kidnapped and Danning is one step ahead of the police in trying to free him and put away Hauser for good.

Director Worth Keeter includes a lot of filler in this uninvolving opus. Hauser is allowed to ham it up preposterously while Danning, unflatteringly photographed, merely looks sullen.

Best technical credit is the often rousing musical score by Howard Leese and Sterling, which fails to disguise how listless the action scenes are.

A L.A. mayoral candidate is kidnapped by psycho Cavanaugh (Wings Hauser) and held for a $500,000 ransom. On the case is Ruger (Sybil Danning), a tough ex-cop turned bounty hunter who has a past with, of course, Cavanaugh. This was one of Danning's last vehicles before retiring in the late 80s and it is quite a change of pace for her. The story is credited to Danning ("Hey, let's make a movie where I am a bad ass.") and it is unlike any female action flick I can think of, mostly because her character is so tough and there is no focus on her sexuality. Ruger is the strong, silent type and only has maybe 7 lines in the entire film (IMDb trivia here says Danning only speaks 31 words throughout the picture). Director Worth Keeter was a product of Earl Owensby's North Carolina studio and handles all of the action well. The real highlight is, naturally, Wings Hauser in another trademark unhinged performance. Wings was doing lots of low budget cop hero roles around this time, so it is cool to see him slide back into the sleazy VICE SQUAD/Ramrod style. Quick supporting players include Robert Quarry, Branscombe Richmond, Bob Minor and Blackie Dammett.